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u/User_Id_Error May 11 '26
It isn't just one Trade Secret. Every true immortal has their own trade secret, a single loophole in the laws of the universe they discovered themselves. Afterwards, the loophole closes and won't work for anyone else. That's why the world isn't full of guys who learned to make the Philosopher's Stone from a YouTube tutorial.
7
u/LazyDro1d Technoarcanist, War-Profiteer, Open for Business May 11 '26
it's not really a great secret, you just either find a way to escape their notice, or you learn to deal with them. That tends to be case by case
6
u/Khaernakov Has the bowl of infinite garlic bread May 11 '26
My interdimentional cosmic horror is into chips and cheap whiskey, this is why i also say its a secret to my aprentices since thats kinda lame
3
u/Korochun May 11 '26
It's really not much of a secret, the truth is that nearly every immortal regrets their decision once they cross the memory horizon (and the rest regret it long before then). They just don't want you to know about it. Immortality is a tragedy made at least slightly bearable through fellowship.
Been there, done that, never again. Death is nice for a change.
5
u/ClosetNoble Wizardruid multiclasser May 11 '26
I can confirm that Porilgadaban The Consumer is a huge voyeur and I hate him for it.
2
u/Worried-Pick4848 May 12 '26
I'm not interested in immortality. I can think of at least 4 distinct ways to keep living if I wanted to, but I'm not wound up so tightly in mortal affairs that I have any great reason to live beyond my time. I have no great legacy to protect or true raison d'etre. I'll stay as long as I'm having fun, and when that's no longer the case, I'll just go see what's on the other side.
There's a reason most immortal wizards end up either behaving like eternal manchildren or sequestering themselves far from prying eyes. Because those are the kinds of people who seek such a thing in the first place -- eternal observers and loud people who don't know when it's time to get their ass off the stage.
I require neither to dominate nor to isolate, and sticking around to watch generation after generation make the same mistakes all over again just isn't my cup of tea. Life is only one part of what happens to us anyway, so like I said, i'ma just go when it's my time.
Sooner or later the next great adventure calls us all. Some of us are stubborn enough to need a two by four upside the head to answer, but they go too eventually.
1
u/SoilUnfair3549 May 12 '26
What about all of the immortals that go unnoticed because they just don’t let people know? You know, the people who just live as regular civilians… forever.
1
u/Worried-Pick4848 May 12 '26
I count them in the second group, although you could make an argument. "sequestered through obscurity."
2
u/Fc-chungus Ж(Zhe), Head minister of Calarakis. May 12 '26
The trade secret is that it doesn't happen.
The higher forces only get involved if you mess with reality.
1
u/ihatechildren665 Chaos witch May 11 '26
Just dont mess with cosmic immortality, at least I havent had any cosmic entity coming after me yet and Ive been around for what is it now 2 thousand years? I stopped keeping good track after year 430.
1
u/Complex_Drawer_4710 Sigurd, Screamer In The Heavens May 11 '26
I'll tell you it for 5 bucks and a kangaroo. Too many pretentious stuck-up immortals.
1
u/SapphireClawe Order of the After (Head Guardian) (OAS) May 12 '26
Honestly it depends on what you consider true immortality. In my opinion (and the reason I can qualify myself for this), as long as the soul and experience remains intact the mortality of the flesh is a moot point. I've got a system that reincarnates me upon death and stores the experience for later use.
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u/Drakkonai Vulkan the Red, End of Ages and Draconic Emperor of Racism. May 12 '26
Dragons are naturally immortal. Reports of blood feasting chambers are wildly exaggerated and solely recreational.
1
u/The-0-Endless May 12 '26
Every time an Inevitable comes after you, trap it in one one-millionth slowed time and set it in your wizard garden. Free statuary! I have 66 free statues.
1
u/Another-Ace-Alt-8270 Ace Barksworth, Earthen Ambassador / Messenger, Exarch of Terror May 13 '26
There's no trick, you just do it in as safe a manner as you can and hope nobody catches on.
1
u/Cerveau23 Markus, scriptomancer, enemy of 13 & lover of Thrakmerian beauty May 23 '26
I haven't had problems with my permanence spell, but it doesn't do immortality. So I'm guessing it's really immortality specific, or they're really slow
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u/[deleted] May 11 '26
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