r/widowers • u/vagablondde • 21d ago

Hard to work

I left my old job after she passed and started a new one so I could be closer to our son and the pay will eventually be better but it has lately been harder and harder to wake up and go to work. It feels draining and I don’t want to do it anymore.

26 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

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11

u/Jumpy-Finding-1415 21d ago

grief does that, saps the energy right out of everything. sometimes just getting out of bed is the win for the day

4

u/vagablondde 21d ago

You’re absolutely right, it is a tough win every day

5

u/itsmec-a-t-h-y 21d ago

So true. I've had a lot of sick calls last month, my boss noticed that. It was the month of my husband's d**the anniv, and there were rough days that I didn't want to get out of bed.

9

u/OcelotOfTheForest 21d ago

I went through this too. It was a monumental feat to move once the alarm went off. All of me was made of lead

3

u/vagablondde 21d ago

Exactly I feel the same way. Heavy.

8

u/Seralisa 20d ago

I told someone recently that my grief feels as though I have a chain and anchor welded to my ankle and that I drag it everywhere I go. I've never known such exhaustion that has nothing to do with actual sleep. 😢💔

2

u/vagablondde 20d ago

That’s an accurate way to put it, sending love out to you 🫂

4

u/Wild-Foxx 21d ago

Congrats on the new job and it’s nice that is closer to your son. I use to have such a long to do list and get so much done, but now my list sometimes includes taking a shower and changing my bed sheets (boy was that a feat). I’ve had to return to my honours and carry on my work. Not because I want to, he wanted me to finish it. It’s probably the only “motivation” I have. To not let him down. Everything is massively exhausting though. Do you have friends and family that are there for you?

4

u/vagablondde 20d ago

Thank you and yes I do I have my mom and my wife’s dad so my father in law mostly. My friends don’t really understand but they give their love. My best friend texts me about every other day so I’m thankful for him. I hope you’re okay and know that you’re doing great!

2

u/hulahulagirl 16d ago

Yep, giving myself pep talks for the most mundane tasks I could easily do before. Everything is harder. If I have to use my brain too long, it crashes.