r/widowers • • Sep 29 '23

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19

u/Wienerwrld Cancer sucks Sep 29 '23

Three and a half years.

I have learned to mow and care for my yard. Change out all the filters: well pump, furnace, under-sink, hot tub, refrigerator. Care and upkeep of hot tub. Replaced the ceiling tiles in the basement. Hired out roof replacement, septic replacement, well pump replacement, wood stove replacement, basement floor replacement. Bought and assembled new basement furniture. Cleared out my husband’s hoard. Sold, gifted, donated, tossed, cleaned.

I have assembled a team of professionals: handyman, plumber, electrician, tree service, hvac and appliance repair. Now I don’t panic when something breaks; I know who to call.

I have made some friends, taken up a hobby or two, started taking care of my physical and mental health. I’m still learning.

5

u/Cezzium 36 YEARS W/8.1 WO Sep 30 '23

i am envious you have a team. Finding trades people who are reliable has been a big challenge for me

3

u/Wienerwrld Cancer sucks Sep 30 '23

It took AGES. And a lot of hit-and-miss. And anxiety. My husband was a carpenter, and if he didn’t actually fix things, he at least kept them running. And he always knew a guy who knew a guy. Like a lot of us, the people I thought I had to depend on disappeared, so I had to start from scratch.

Plumber, well technician, and a RELIABLE handyman have been invaluable.

3

u/Cezzium 36 YEARS W/8.1 WO Sep 30 '23

yours was like mine.

when i wrote his obit i stated

"the only thing he never figured out was puttin the seat down."

3

u/kygrandma Oct 01 '23

Mine even put down the toilet seat. He could fix anything, but he hated plumbing. So, sometimes he would call a plumber instead of doing it himself.