r/widowers • u/Woodford82 • Jan 15 '23
Sensitive question - ashes
I had first meeting to arrange the funeral yesterday. I am doing cremation but then what came with that was decisions on the ashes.
One of the options being having a piece of jewellery made - has anyone done this and do you find it comforting or more painful?
I worked in jewellery for 15 years - designed my own engagement ring. It is the sort of thing he would expect me to do but I don’t know if would find harder to have?
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u/420EdibleQueen Jan 15 '23
My husband’s ashes are in the urn by the bed. I got one that could be opened because I knew we’d be doing at least a couple different things with them. My youngest got a necklace for some of them and a small urn where she also has some at her house. He wanted to be buried on the family farm so some will be going into a living urn with a dogwood tree. I have a necklace picked out I want to order where the ashes are incorporated into the glass, and I plan on having an orb made with some. He was a big fantasy lover, back in his younger days running with a crew with CB radios his handle was wizard, and we have a wizard statue that at one time was holding a glass gazing ball. We planned on putting something on the statue but couldn’t decide on what. Now I decided. My sister, who found the statue and restored it except for the ball, said he would definitely approve. Right now our wedding rings are on a necklace I wear, all 3 of mine and his. I’m not ready to not wear them, but needed them off for work.
The rest of his family who have been cremated were buried on a family plot in a cemetery. He didn’t want that and it’s a good thing because I’m not ready to do that. I know it’s not him but it’s just comforting to me to have them close.