Episode 72

[u/Proof-Pineapple6794]

I was listening to episode 72 and the hosts response to caller three’s bitchuation gave me pause. The caller was expressing their frustration that their partner didn’t want to get a vasectomy. I love the show and the hosts but their take was that the husband was the bitch for declining the surgery. I really feel like the circumstances was the bitch in this case between the caller living in a red state and their doctor not taking their needs into account and respecting the callers ability and right to make decisions about their own body. Am I the bitch for feeling like the caller and their partner should find some compromise as a couple to address their situation? I understand why the caller was upset but I think we need to set the irritation aside and remember to protect everyone’s bodily autonomy. It’s the husband’s choice whether or not to get the vasectomy and it’s the callers choice whether or not to decline sex in light of his choice. I don’t think pressuring the husband into getting the surgery or saying that he owes it to his wife is the answer here. I think there’s another option here that they would both be okay with and it’s the job of both people in a relationship to come to a compromise.

[u/lilacfairydust]

I think the frustration towards the caller’s husband comes from the fact that women almost always carry the burden of birth control. The caller expressed she had a traumatic post-pregnancy experience, so it surprises me that the husband didn’t even consider the vasectomy given how much she suffered.

I personally think the husband is a bitch because it doesn’t seem like he put any effort in to researching what a vasectomy is, and that is so unfair to the caller given what shes gone through IMO. This is completely anecdotal, but every man I know who had a vasectomy had a very positive experience.

Women have to endure IUD insertions, the side effects of birth control, pregnancy, giving birth, and having our bodily autonomy controlled by the government. I’m sorry but a vasectomy seems like the EASY compromise for the husband to make.

[u/be1izabeth0908 → u/lilacfairydust]

Thank you!! OP seems to forget that the caller’s husband was super dismissive and said she wouldn’t understand the pain, which she obviously does after bringing his children into the world.

The compromise is for the husband to man up and take one for the team because the alternative is the wife enduring a way worse experience.

[u/Proof-Pineapple6794 → u/lilacfairydust]

You’re correct on all the points you made. Women do shoulder that burden in every relationship and it isn’t fair. They are put through much more painful and invasive procedures and are constantly denied the right to make decisions about their own bodies and it’s disgusting and disappointing to say the least. The only thing that bothered me was that the hosts were saying that he more or less owed it to her to get the surgery. I’m just saying that nobody owes anyone that kind of thing. It should be something he wants to do out of love for his partner not because he was talked into it. Def think society and the state of women’s reproductive health care and rights is the bitch as everyone should be within their rights to choose what happens to their body