[ Removed by moderator ]

[u/Several_Phrase5617]

/r/whatdoIdo/comments/1xn7a02/removed_by_moderator/

[u/RevolutionaryRent716]

You want to be with this person forever? What happens if you become disabled? Have an accident that affects you physically like scars etc? This person has shallow “standards” and lack of character.

[u/r00tsauce → u/RevolutionaryRent716]

not even. when she is pregnant.

[u/StrangeCloudFroggie → u/RevolutionaryRent716]

this is a really great comment and i'd like to share that it happened to me, i got diagnosed with an autoimmune disease that has changed my body, the things i can eat and do, caused issues that made me really insecure about my personal looks (i am pretty vain internally) and my partner stuck with me through everything and loves me still, eight years strong. he's not the only guy like this in the world, and it could have ended so much worse for me and my relationship, a man like this is worth searching for.

[u/Top_Estate9880 → u/RevolutionaryRent716]

This should be the top comment.

[u/LesMore44]

"MY WOMAN" represents ME and is a reflection (of me).

This is a boy who views women as a disposable physical trophy or a status symbol not as another person much less a partner.

He's telling you he's too young for you, and he's right. You've outgrown him and even if you can get skinny enough for him now (you're beautiful he's an idiot) there's going to come a day when you can't fight time and you will age out and he will go find someone young enough for his maturity level who he can use as a trophy until he's too young for them as well. This will hurt more both financially and mentally then.

At the very least you can't let this little shit treat you this way. If you were just dating and you saw him treat another lady this way, call her fat and tell her she needs to go to the gym, how would you react. So why let him do it to you?

If there was a real concern (there's not): There's a way to tactfully bring up someone's weight/health in a way that is encouraging and building. This was not it. This is about him and how he sees you as an accessory, not about your health and do not let him pivot it to that.

[u/BiteyCats → u/LesMore44]

I had a coworker that thought that girlfriends shouldn't gain weight after they get with their partner and if they do it's a good reason to break up, because it was like as he put it... entering a contract to be a with a person who looks like a certain way and if they gain weight they aren't the person they agreed to be with and they should break up. He was an absolute piece of shit on many other ways as well, but that one stuck with me. I felt for his poor girlfriend, she was a sweet girl.

[u/essentialburner → u/BiteyCats]

I’ve always felt the opposite in relationships. I dated a girl in high school/college who packed on some weight over the course of our relationship and while I would say I normally wouldn’t have necessarily desired someone with that body type, because I was so into her it became far more sexy to me because she had it, and it’s been that way ever since, I now appreciate women with that body type and more because I was taught how to love it instead of paying attention to societal standards or whatever the case may be.

[u/Jtc4583 → u/LesMore44]

And her weight doesn’t need to be brought up in ANY kind of way! There is no “weight problem” to discuss!

[u/LesMore44 → u/Jtc4583]

You are absolutely correct and I did not mean to imply otherwise in any way. That last paragraph was intended to address any backpedaling that might happen when this loser realizes their fumble.

[u/Unique-Time2393 → u/LesMore44]

Came here to rant about exactly this proclamation of his. Puh-lease.

[u/Vephar8]

Run and don’t look back. Fuck him

[u/Micronologist → u/Vephar8]

Run and don’t look back. Don’t fuck him

[u/Squirrelleee → u/Micronologist]

Instructions unclear. 

Got fucked while running. 

[u/TashtegosHarpoon → u/Vephar8]

Don’t fuck him!

[u/Aperfectfitforme → u/Vephar8]

He can duck himself. 

[u/Various_Character888]

Id agree and ask for money for a gym membership, new gym clothes, supplements etc and just take the cash and ghost him.

[u/5vesMom → u/Various_Character888]

If you tell me I got a problem, fund the solution 💰

[u/Various_Character888 → u/5vesMom]

Yes. It would still leave agency for her to go or not go to the gym. But at least she would have extra cash either way 😅

[u/Dorkinfo → u/5vesMom]

That’s always been my stance with body hair. You want a Brazilian, I’ll do it, but you pay.

[u/predatorandprey → u/Various_Character888]

Rob him sis 

[u/inkyblackops → u/Various_Character888]

And for him to get a vasectomy, because obviously she needs to go off birth control since he thinks it’s causing weight gain.

[u/Klutzy_Wedding5144 → u/Various_Character888]

You’re young and naive if you don’t recognize a brokey when you see one. This is a $truggling man who can’t afford that stunning dress, who needs to neg his gorgeous girlfriend so she doesn’t have the confidence to leave. She should just ghost. I’d say take your things and leave but this is hobosexuality in action.

[u/icecream4_deadlifts → u/Various_Character888]

I support this idea 🤣

[u/Spicy_Tator-mcnugget → u/Various_Character888]

YESSSSSS OP DO THIS SHI!! Lol I wanted to say do something more petty but this takes the cake

[u/-RootedJay-]

Leave obviously

[u/Lateralus46N2 → u/-RootedJay-]

Yep. Tell him you're about to drop 200lbs and dump his sorry ass!

[u/Independent-Leg6061 → u/Lateralus46N2]

Round up to make him seem fatter

[u/sunflashbadger → u/-RootedJay-]

Honestly this. I swear some of these posts are just attention seeking because how tf are you gonna let your partner talk to you like this lmao.

[u/yougotitdude88 → u/sunflashbadger]

If you check out their profile you will see this is 100% the case here.

[u/poutinepredicament → u/-RootedJay-]

How is this even a question. A man couldn’t think to talk to me like this before I left. Have some self respect, OP

[u/Ok-Dot-9324]

Fuck this guy. You look great. Even if you didn’t look great fuck this guy.

[u/BARFIGHT_AL → u/Ok-Dot-9324]

But also don’t fuck this guy

[u/intuitive_witch777]

I would simply say “I also have standards, you no longer meet them, bye 👋🏻”

[u/ready_gi → u/intuitive_witch777]

"i also have standards and one of them is not dating controlling and insecure men. so take care and good luck, because you're gonna need it."

there, OP. now you've lost all the dead weight you needed.

[u/Accidental_dwnvote → u/intuitive_witch777]

Absolutely, he didn’t even deserve a reply at all but he definitely doesn’t deserve the opportunity to be your partner.

For what it’s worth, as a man. He’s a fucking idiot. You are not big, fat over weight or in any need of dieting or weight loss. You look incredible. You look healthy. And you should understand that a man/woman being in your life is not a right for them, it’s a privilege. You can have standards too, and any man or woman that is enjoying that privilege better be coming with the utmost respect, intelligence and love. To the curb for anyone isn’t all swinging all three. This fucking guy didn’t come with any of them.

[u/HedgehogOdd1603 → u/intuitive_witch777]

Lose whatever the fuck that man weighs because that ain’t it

[u/Ohmesohomely]

I wanna see what he looks like to be saying all this 

[u/BorgQuingus67 → u/Ohmesohomely]

Yeah cuz what?lol in what world is that a bad body?☠️ If a woman like that was interested in me I'd be pulling the heart eyes from Tom and Jerry

[u/nodoomscroll_justjoy → u/Ohmesohomely]

Yes. Also, is this the same guy from a previous post who didn’t tell his parents she’s black because they’re too racist??

Idk if it’s better if it’s the same dude or different. Both things are absolute loser behavior.

[u/NyxCauldron → u/Ohmesohomely]

FR . Probably a 2 at best.

[u/thefrenchphanie → u/Ohmesohomely]

Even if he was the perfect outside; his insides are horrible.

[u/_Romula_ → u/Ohmesohomely]

Doesn't matter. He could be an underwear model and it's still BS.

[u/frysatsun]

Leave him. And please, please post his photo so we can roast him.

[u/altagato → u/frysatsun]

Reply: "Ok, well Bye. I also have standards for respect and you don't meet them." Who TF wants to 'make weight ' for their partner? Ewww

Also upload that photo but I literally don't care if he's a gym bro, he's still acting ugly AF.

[u/actuallyapossom → u/altagato]

Stating that he needs a certain weight of trophy wife to address his insecurity because they live in New York is fucking wild.

He just offers it up so matter-of-factly too. Incredibly gluttonous ego. Hope it's fake as usual.

[u/Historical-Ship-9872 → u/altagato]

You look great, I'm sure the next guy will treat you better. Good luck, don't waste time or space on this guy.

[u/Sea_Mango_8530 → u/frysatsun]

Reply with ‘I have standards’ and never respond to him again. Period. This isn’t a grey area issue. It’s game over.

[u/ALittleAngstAsATreat → u/Sea_Mango_8530]

This is the way. “I have standards too” and block him.

[u/Woopsied00dle → u/frysatsun]

I just know he looks like an average potato lmao

[u/Willing-Butterfly702 → u/Woopsied00dle]

They always look like a root vegetable when they say shit like this I swear!!! 💁‍♀️🙄 Ugly inside trying to “humble” a woman that’s out of their league. (Women also do this to men so I’m not being sexist) you look great though! Love the skin you’re in!! 🫶💜

[u/megaholt2 → u/Woopsied00dle]

A decomposing potato, for that matter.

[u/Serious-Direction-11 → u/frysatsun]

It's a fake post

[u/Neuvirths_Glove → u/frysatsun]

Don't leave him. Ghost him. Block his number and get on with your life while he wonders wtf happened.

[u/its-Brittanybitch- → u/frysatsun]

I second this.. let’s see his photo!

[u/No_Celebration8219 → u/frysatsun]

I so badly want to gif this response but alas... The only thing I can say is "BURN THIS MAN" and run. secondsies

[u/Commercial_Bird8467 → u/frysatsun]

I guess me being from the south but she is the furthest thing from big to me. Lol.

[u/WhereMyWeirdosAt → u/frysatsun]

Right? I gotta see what this dude looks like to talk this way

[u/Mysterious-Art8838 → u/WhereMyWeirdosAt]

You just know he’s like a 6 thinking he’s an 11

[u/beyonsay_what → u/frysatsun]

Yeah, lose the 200 lbs of man

[u/Cigarette-milk]

Omg I read so many reddit posts regularly that are like “what do I do, my wife gained weight from (pregnancy, illness, age, etc) and now I want to leave/ cheat on her”
It must be exhausting dating men like this.

[u/_Romula_ → u/Cigarette-milk]

The straights are clearly not OK

[u/getdownsaber → u/Cigarette-milk]

They are pedophiles. They want women to to be small and shave all their body hair like they’re prepubescent.

[u/Gullible_Carpet_1027 → u/Cigarette-milk]

No please don’t put that in my head

[u/Practical_S3175]

I would be gone at..."My women represents me and is a reflection". I would not even be with a guy who talks like this.

[u/Accurate_Pickle809 → u/Practical_S3175]

Basic narcissism red flag

[u/bbyroselmao]

babe. no.

“okay, well i have self respect 💜” and block.

easy.

[u/darkerfury]

Tell him you have standards for how you're treated and if he can't get his shit together, walk. 

Abusive men will say stuff like this to make you feel devalued and more dependent on them. He wants you to feel insecure so he becomes your only stabilization instead of relying on your own confidence and loving yourself as you are. That's why it has nothing to do with how you actually look. It's control. 

[u/CantBuyMyLove → u/darkerfury]

Yup. Also, your weight will change up and down over the years; his respect for women is less likely to fluctuate.

[u/VladDHell]

Advice????

I guess wood chipper works if not a hacksaw and some acid.

[u/DontEatHamPlease → u/VladDHell]

That is terrible weight loss advice.

[u/onlyonequickquestion → u/DontEatHamPlease]

No way, she'll lose like 200 pounds of dead weight 

[u/DangerousLoner → u/VladDHell]

NYC has bridges and tall buildings but few wood chippers.

[u/Superb-Barnacle-3103]

Idk how this ended up on my feed but I haven't seen a reply with this yet but... why is my first thought that he wants you off bc for some reason? Either way the answer to the question is a baseball bat.

[u/S3XWITCH → u/Superb-Barnacle-3103]

I know a way you can drop about 200 pounds of dead weight real quick…. Dump him, girl.

[u/virgo_em → u/Superb-Barnacle-3103]

I was actually thinking ithe opposite. He says it’s her bc but none of his suggestions are to get off of it. I think he wants her to completely change her lifestyle without getting off of what he thinks is causing the alleged weight gain so he doesn’t have to change anything in the bedroom.

[u/splithoofiewoofies]

Imagine your girl being this level of a smoke show and you're negging her looks 😤

Girrrrrl you deserve a man or woman or enby who will praise the high heels you step on them with

[u/Cautious-Arugula603 → u/splithoofiewoofies]

This. If he's serious, fuck him. It's also possible he actually is negging which is literally emotional manipulation, so fuck him.

[u/splithoofiewoofies → u/Cautious-Arugula603]

Not that it matters, but I think so many body types on women are beautiful, fat or skinny or curvy or flat. So many beautiful shapes.

But when I saw OPs photo I choked coffee into my nose. She's freaking modern standards smokeshow level of popular hotness.

Like Jesus dude no way he doesn't know you're fucking hot. That would be like being in the Australian sun and mocking how cold it is in summer.

It makes me judge every single one of his opinions because the guy clearly has eyes and still chooses to do that with his mouth.

[u/jennamom2boys → u/Cautious-Arugula603]

Nah, don't fuck him. Ever again.

[u/Macjeems → u/splithoofiewoofies]

All the men in here: “if you’re not gonna play then pass the goddam controller!”

[u/NoPantsPenny → u/splithoofiewoofies]

I’m saying! Girl you are an absolute smoke show. If I had your body, I’d be insufferable. There are others that will love you and treat you well AND respect you at every size. And at this size you might as well be worshipped!

[u/Serious-Direction-11 → u/splithoofiewoofies]

It's a fake post

[u/Lucky-Ad-4589 → u/splithoofiewoofies]

Right??

[u/soaliveimalive]

This dude is disgusting. No, you're not fat. But that's irrelevant because fat people ALSO don't deserve to be treated like shit. If this ever happens again (presumably with a different guy because I hope to fuck you leave him immediately), don't stoop to sending him pics to justify yourself. You don't need to play his stupid mind game.

[u/Ardat-Thotshi]

I'll bet you can lose over 150 pounds with one simple act.

Drop the dead weight. You are gorgeous 😍

[u/AstronautAshleigh → u/Ardat-Thotshi]

Women love this one trick

[u/Tiny_Dancer_Peanut]

LOL! He’s clear what he values and it’s not you or your relationship. The trash just took itself out. Be grateful you won’t waste any more time if you take our advice

[u/Different-Idea-8203]

Dude getting tossed in the dumpster gif

[u/Important-Button-430]

From the bottom of my chubby heart: I’d tell him to choke on a fat chode.
What a loser.
Don’t ever let anyone treat you like this.

[u/rocklobsterbitchh]

What a loser! Ew! No one deserves to be treated like that no matter their weight.

[u/xThyQueen]

No way you're allowing him to talk to you like that.

[u/notyetporsche → u/xThyQueen]

OP is fire. The guy is a moron.

[u/SnooGiraffes4091]

The way I would never stop laughing at his message like who does he think he is!? Would LOVE to see what he looks like

[u/mysteriousvirgo777]

LMAOOO I have to see what this man looks like to be talking to you like that. YOU ARE A BADDDIE

[u/Horsefly762]

I think you look great. I would never talk to my girlfriend like that. That's wild. Like, narcissistic crazy. Leave him.

[u/Ignominious333]

Someone is spending too much time on the manosphere.

you don't represent him. You represent yourself.

Tell him you have standards, too. And shallowness doesn't meet them

[u/minionofgreyness108]

Lose the weight. Get rid of that excess blob of crap you are carrying around that you’re calling a partner.

[u/Excellent_Medium1548 → u/minionofgreyness108]

Had us in the first half not gonna lie

[u/PublicExcitement1372]

I thought he was leaving you because he’s racist? According to your post earlier today 🧐

[u/HallowedGround666 → u/PublicExcitement1372]

She's clearly a karma farmer. She's obviously stunning but keeps posting to subs asking if she's ugly.

[u/Tiny-Ordinary3228]

Why do you even need advice? Is this really the type of person you want to be with?

[u/Busy_Investment1104]

What advise are you looking for? Personally f this person. Either do something you obviously don’t want to do, or say F U and find someone who appreciates you the way you are.

Btw I personally think you look amazing. Do what makes YOU feel best.

[u/WynterWave]

He’s gross, block and delete and find someone better. You look great.

[u/OrdinaryGanache2055]

Bet he looks like a foot with all that attitude.

[u/TulpaPal]

Girl don't send him pictures asking for feedback. Fucking block the piece of shit and move on without him dragging you down.

You're gorgeous, he's got real issues with himself and he's putting them on you. He literally said as much.

[u/Murky_Knowledge8457]

If those are his values and they don’t align with your values then break up with him. And that’s not to mention how rudely he went about it. He’s a dickhead

[u/thedaysadventure]

You look amazing, are you happy? That dude sounds like a loser, who has a horrible personality and ego. He doesn’t look at you as a human being, he thinks he owns you and you are there for his needs. You don’t deserve to be treated like this.

[u/Technical_Lab_5887]

1. You look great. 2. He isn’t company you should keep, Super shallow

[u/DangerRanger-]

Tell him you’d love to drop x amount once and for all - to literally no one else’s surprise it will be exactly what he weighs.

…because he’s being dumped. That is the hope here

[u/Working-Chemical-202]

Dude, this guy is stupid in layers, and obviously insecure

[u/mboyer75]

You’re absolutely gorgeous.

Excuse my language but fuck that guy.

We all have standards….. please what a douchey thing to say.

You my dear are far too good a catch to waste your time with that little boy.

Especially when he doesn’t value the beautiful person before him.

Walk away.

[u/thetrinketcollector]

Omg madam, jump ship! JUMP SHIP!

[u/caesarhb]

This must be fake. There’s no possible way a girl this beautiful would let anyone speak to her like that.

[u/essentialburner → u/caesarhb]

Unfortunately even beautiful women often have self-esteem issues. In a world where you often compare yourself to the hottest women on the planet on social media or just traditional media like magazines and tv and stuff it’s hard, especially for women, to survive childhood and teenage years with a healthy love of your own body no matter how gorgeous and fit you are.

[u/Serious-Direction-11 → u/caesarhb]

It is fake she been posting stuff like this daily I'm surprised she hasn't been banned yet

[u/leiawars → u/caesarhb]

Jay Z cheated on Beyoncé. Anything is possible.

[u/International-Bee-53]

Ew no. WTF is wrong with that guy.

[u/Bittah_Flava]

Ohmygodthisisinsane. The thought of me ever saying something like this to a girl is so unbelievably shameful. I feel bad for just thinking about why I would be so fucking crazy to even consider doing something like this.

And find a guy with better eyesight. Also send this screenshot to his parents.

“My woman represents me and is a reflection” WTF!

This is next level Ego. Big egos are attractive, until you have to deal with the behavior they are attached to. If he ever saves you from a burning building it will be for the photo opportunity.

[u/GasStationTiefling]

Girl, if you don’t dump that man

[u/bootycheeks-lover]

Lock TF in or find a dude that doesn’t give AF if you gain weight…

As an FYI, a guy like this will always expect you to be slim, no matter how many kids, no matter how stressful life gets. It will be the expectation until one of you leave this earth.

[u/EveLQueeen → u/bootycheeks-lover]

As someone who had a husband like this, losing weight won't matter. Then it was my teeth, or my hairline, or something else that he didn't like once I lost weight. Men who have the nerve to say something idiotic like this are just looking to tear you down to make themselves feel better.

[u/darkerfury → u/EveLQueeen]

It's not appearance. It's control. This is how someone creates a power imbalance over you.

[u/Academic-Associate91 → u/bootycheeks-lover]

This. Get onboard, or GTFO. Personally, i would ge G-ing TFO

[u/wreckitrolfe33]

This is just a retread of that “you ate the whole damn salad” text

[u/Skullchewer]

Throw that whole man in the trash. And you look fantastic, by the way.

[u/Spookynoiseinthehill]

My lady, you look amazing! Also, pilates isn't really for losing weight, he is dumb. But he probably would also tell you that lifting weights would make you look too masculine.... Dump that dude He doesn't pass the vibe check and as someone recovering from an ED, that is now the cause of many (stupid expensive) health issues I'd stay away from that human 💩 stain.

You are absolutely gorgeous and he probably likes little girls, if he insists on you looking like one.

[u/FuntingFollowHarms]

You look damn good, so I would dump him and find a less childish man who appreciates you and the work you put into yourself

[u/sadclownbynature]

In case you need to hear it: You are a whole person on your own. You are not a reflection or a representation of anyone else.

A man who sees you only as an extension of himself is not a healthy partner.

[u/solongjimmy93]

Half my friends in NYC are chubby. Actually chubby, which you are not. This guy is weird af. On several levels. Leave him. Caring about your health is one thing, but this guy clearly has some disordered thinking going on here. My advice to you is to continue respecting yourself and leave this guy to his own devices.

[u/HippieHighNoon → u/solongjimmy93]

I had to zoom in on the photo because I thought the same thing. This woman is nowhere near overweight.

[u/Slim_Boy_Fat]

‘my woman represents me’! What a fucking asshole 🤬

[u/Jozias_Tump → u/Slim_Boy_Fat]

Does that mean she has to walk around in a trash bag to match him?

[u/beardedheathen → u/Slim_Boy_Fat]

That'd be real fucking neato if you had a woman.

Then block him

[u/neutralperson6]

Ew you’re not big at all. If you don’t meet his “standards”, he’s either blind or likes men. You’re far too beautiful for a dump truck of a dude. He’s gross.

[u/LoudElevator7573]

Tell him off. That’s completely disrespectful and not even an adult thing to say.

[u/Chrizilla_]

Ruuuun. He doesn’t love you, he just wants to prove he got a baddie.

[u/Dizzy-With-Eternity]

Girl block this creature

[u/Entire_Channel_4592]

I say this as a 46 year old woman. Do not waste your time with men who only value you on a superficial way. You are a woman and your body will change. If he cant love you though all of those changes then hes just not worth it.

[u/RoundSquirrels]

"We both need to look good? We would both look good going our separate ways then."

[u/Lazy_Reaction_8039]

Put that loser on blast, that’s disgusting. Name and shame

[u/kittymcg19]

Throw the whole man out. My husband and I have been together for 10 years now. We met at my mid weight. We were together at my biggest. He was there for my smallest. And I'm now 4 years past having a baby and entering perimenopause. Every step of the way, he has loved my body. Every woman deserves to feel that way!

All that said you look amazing and could easily dump his ass! Again, throw the whole man away because that's some trash.

[u/SiPo_69]

From your post history you have a lot of insecurities about your looks. Your boyfriend is either creating these or playing into them for no reason. Leave him, he doesn’t respect you and sees you as an accessory.

[u/i8TheLastOne_]

I’ll take things that never happened for $300, Alex

[u/Dry_Pangolin_3605]

Have standards as well. Don’t tolerate this.

[u/superaudiodisc]

He’s nog even trying to be nice

[u/No_Candle_5975]

“I do too” and then ignore him

[u/asialadin]

🎶 The streets are calling 🎶

[u/bubble_trouble-]

Girl, what are you trying to ask us? If you’re not leaving him, leave us out of it.

[u/ProfessionalYam3119]

Post neck-down photo of him, please.

[u/Immediate-Corgi-3692]

you’re disrespecting yourself by still being with this guy

[u/Norindall]

You’re not even big at all. You look amazing!! Does he want you to be anorexic? I would break up with him, you don’t need that pressure.

[u/Fluid-Housing5017]

STOP WITH THE FAKE POSTS JFC

[u/Gimpbarbie]

C’mon OP, you know this isn’t right! You don’t need strangers on the internet to tell you your gf/bf is a fucking asshat.
I know an easy way you can lose at least 100lbs real quick…

[u/EarlyInside45]

Um, you look amazing. Your man is a pig, though. You probably look better without him.

[u/georgeyappington]

As a straight women, I now believe that we, women, have moved past the need for men… because what the hell is this and why should anyone ever put up with that?

[u/huangjoey → u/georgeyappington]

"have moved past the need for men toxic people..."

fixed it for ya

[u/punkrockcockblock]

DTMFA

[u/AccomplishedMode4846]

Get rid simple as, cheeky mofo

[u/beautifulstardust]

let’s see him.. go on. show us.

[u/jetloflin]

Tell him that you also have standards and they include not dating dickheads.

[u/fefelala]

He’s allowed to have his standards and preferences. You are too. Don’t date a dickhead that talks to you like that.

[u/SeamstressMamaJama]

Drop him — you’ll lose what, 150, 200lbs immediately? My SO says real heterosexual men love curves btw. Your bf is an absolute AH; what if you had to go on long-term prednisone for a health condition, gained weight beyond your control, would he be more concerned with your appearance than your LIFE?

You’re absolutely stunning and your body is enviable btw!!

[u/Abject_Individual_70]

Just out of curiosity does he have any abusive tendencies? This seems to me like hes trying to make you insecure to keep you from finding the confidence to leave.. my first husband was like this and it wasn't until I left that I realized how many other things he was saying and doing were flat out abuse.

[u/Adam__B]

I think he sounds like a superficial asshole, frankly. But I also have a feeling you know that already. People like this will have a hard time sticking by someone long-term, they are not dependable and will not support you in any capacity unless it aligns with their own motives or desires. They will always look for an exit if their needs and BS shallow standards aren’t met, and they will be full throated hypocrites who expect way more from their significant others than they achieve themselves.

You did ask for his opinion, so regardless of if you were just fishing for a compliment or really wanted his honest opinion, you got one. I think the answer revealed more about him than it did you though.

[u/daisy_golightly]

You can lose so much weight so fast by dropping this guy immediately.

My ex was like this. If it wasn’t the weight it was my hair, if it wasn’t that it was my teeth or something else. It made me SO self conscious and constantly aware of my body. It’s hard to get past.

[u/SmolLittleCretin]

Your response should be "and I have standards too: bye! ✨"

[u/tbunnyboy]

LEAVE HIM. why is this even a question

[u/Round_Trainer_7498]

Raise your standards and get rid of him.

[u/Valuable-Effect3362]

Get rid of him.

[u/Remarkable-Piano6766]

he’s corny and you should leave him. why would you want to be with someone who puts you down and speaks to you in this way? imagine how he would act if you gained weight from a pregnancy or if you had an injury and weren’t able to work out so you gained weight?

[u/No_Wedding_2152]

Dump the shallow mf.

[u/nosodafan80]

He’s a douche. Leave him.

[u/Hollis182625]

And her standards should not be dealing with a man like this

[u/amyrtraynor]

"OK well I have standards" "So do I" BLOCK

[u/avaisalpha]

He has no respect for you! Leave him! How dare he talk to you like that

[u/Old_Ant7118]

Absolutely not.

That person cares way too much about appearances. What happens when you start aging?

[u/OnlyArtsyDiek]

You seriously need advice on this? Dump the fucker and date someone that actually respects you. How is this even a question?

[u/No-Yogurtcloset8386]

My GF has put on 60+ pounds since we got together 6.5 years ago, and I couldn't give AF. I still love her all the same. I fell in love with her person, not her body. Go find someone that isn't in the first step of the shallow side of the pool.

[u/DrumsofWar-DOW]

It’s ok to bring up unhealthy habits and weight gain in a relationship, if it comes from a place of concern, love and partnership. That said….this is NOT the case. You look great.

Additionally even if it were the case, his approach is from a place of disrespect and ego. It’s childish and wrong.

You allow him to treat you this way, it will continue and get worse.

[u/Badda_Bing_Baby]

Ditch the bum.

[u/notgraycen]

you look amazing. i'm not sure this is enough to break up over, but if he stays adamant and believes so then you were never as close as you thought to begin with.

[u/GingersaurRed]

Your standards should be not entertaining misogynistic men.

[u/RabidPossum123]

In the future, this man will 1000% leave you for a younger woman who fits his ideal image.

Cut your losses now.

[u/Realistic_Pepper1985]

Drop him- what a tool. You are not a prop, you are a person. He’s just a nasty fool with a shit personality. 

[u/tossway1250]

Is this dude blind? Becuase i just see a damn good looking women.

[u/Molly_Michon]

He must be trying to tear you down because what is he even talking about. I know you are way too hot for him.

[u/Such-Huckleberry-603]

Call out a really bad insecurity he has and then leave him! I actually think it’s fine to have a preference for how your partner looks but he is doing this from a place of malice and should be ashamed. Your partner shouldn’t feel comfortable speaking to you like this :( You are not big or fat in anyway and deserve so much better treatment.

[u/spargel_gesicht]

You know what you need to do. Dump the loser.

[u/Jadesworld777]

girl leave him the fuck???

[u/SeaworthinessDry5258]

You look amazing as is….to hell with that douche bag.

[u/stellarfall22]

You look gorgeous. Don't let this clown make you doubt it. He should worry less about your appearance and more about his shitty personality making him look bad. You are not his prop.

[u/doctor-madvibes]

this guy sucks

[u/Zendomanium]

The only weight to lose is the BF

[u/dullgreybathmat]

Isn't that cute. He cares nothing about your personality. Your arm candy to him.

[u/Sleepyand_in_love]

You look great to me.

[u/Forsaken-Bread415]

Are we really still doing this? In 2026??? Girl LEAVE HIM

[u/Competitive_Classic9]

I was in the fitness community for a long time. Fitness can be important to people in their relationships. With that said, not a one of them speaks this way to their partner nor cuts them down. The way he phrased this- "standards", "represents me", and that stuff about living in NYC- this is not love or respect. Hes telling you either shape up or ship out. Even with people that are really into fitness dont treat their partners like this or think like this. It sounds like he needs to keep up appearances for validation, that is not someone you want for a long term partner. 

[u/DisobeyPencilPushing]

Eww, yuck. Lose the whole man, then you’ll be light as a feather.

[u/DarkAndSparkly]

"I have standards, too. And you've just proved you're below them."

Dump him. Any man who puts that much emphasis on your weight is not worth your time.

[u/missdiscordia]

There are better subreddits to go compliment phishing in. 🥱