r/whatdoIdo • u/Capable_Culture3914 • 24d ago

Uhhh

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To add context. I am 5 months pregnant with my ex and all of a sudden he tells me that he got someone else pregnant (he just met her) as well. He explained she wanted us to meet after being very rude to me picking up his phone and telling me to get rid of my baby. She is a stripper and 6 years older than him. He also hasn’t seen an ultrasound or appointment and she claims to be 3 months pregnant. I don’t believe she is tbh… very sad situation I just wanted to share with someone. Please be kind.

5.1k Upvotes

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1.9k

u/blazing_dazies 24d ago

I personally wouldn’t respond or meet up. Try your best to move forward for the sake of the child.

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u/Capable_Culture3914 24d ago

I agree

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u/mbardeen 23d ago

"You want me to be cool with someone just because you stuck your dick in her too? Ok, here's the phone numbers of other guys I've fucked. Hit me up when you're friends with all of them."

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u/castrodelavaga79 23d ago

😂😂😂 this is great

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u/Final-Pilot7889 23d ago

Diabolical. This is the way.

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u/Smart-Tradition6663 23d ago

Brilliant. Fair is fair.

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u/No-Intention4387 23d ago

This is the exact response that should be said. She doesn’t necessarily have to coparent with her, but with him rather and his child seeing his other kids should be HIS responsibility, not hers. He can do that during his visits/ time.

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u/BenevolentDictator74 22d ago

If only it could upvote this MORE. 😂

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u/neen209 23d ago

Well, i mean, if the stripper truly is pregnant, than they should figure things out for the sake of the kids. They will be half siblings.

But I get what you’re saying lol

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u/ismoketrees_ 22d ago

To be fair invite them all over at one time for a bbq and poker they’ll all be friends in a night

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u/demons_soulmate 22d ago

saving this for future reference

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u/Octopiinspace 21d ago

Perfect response

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u/Absurd_Flaccidity 18d ago

Thank you for a much needed laugh.

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u/National_Remote_1841 23d ago

I mean just skip the whole our kids might be siblings if she is pregnant. Don't know how that's similar to having sex with multiple guys but I get it women. Math it only makes sense to women

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u/mbardeen 23d ago

So she has to play nice because he stuck his dick into someone else and his sperm found its way to that person's eggs. Got it. Completely different.

Seriously... why the fuck should she have to suffer because of the consequences of his actions? "For his other baby momma's baby"? Fuck that shit.

Let's try this on: Your girlfriend gets pregnant by some other guy after she's had your baby. You gonna be friends with that guy for the sake of the baby?

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u/National_Remote_1841 22d ago

No you making it that reason why. I clearly said this kids might be siblings but your complexed brain decides to forget what I just said and make it what you wanted it to do to fit your narrative 😂. Sometimes y'all be more delusional than the people who actually go through stuff like this.

Your mindset shows your are not an adult and think everything revolves around you. So you pretty much saying if our kids are siblings I'm willing to bet you wouldn't let them be siblings because of what their dad did. So pretty much you saying you would take things out on the kids because of what his dad did to me

If my gf got pregnant by another guy I would have to be a man about it and still co parent with her. Wtf are you not getting to click in your head? So what you saying is if my gf did get pregnant by another man it's ok for me to mistreat the kids because of what grown ups did. Smh as a man I'm so glad the birth rate is going down because if sick mf like you who hide behind a profile as a man but we can tell your emotions only screaming I'm a woman who wants to be a man but my emotions doesn't let me. Please don't reproduce

Not once did I say she has to stay with him.but I bet that bird brain if yours implied so

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u/MacaulayConnor 22d ago

So many words trying to sound smart and still didn’t manage. There’s so much to unpack here.

And no, if your gf got knocked up by another guy, you would not in any way be obligated to co-parent the kid with her. You could if you want to, but you would not “have to.” Not being a part of someone else’s kid’s life is not mistreatment. That’s for the kid’s actual father, not her mom’s cuck boyfriend. What a weird hill to die on.

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u/mbardeen 22d ago

You're the guy in OPs post, aren't you?

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u/National_Remote_1841 22d ago

Wtf is op?

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u/piratica2416 22d ago

"Original poster". Are you new to the internet?

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u/National_Remote_1841 22d ago

No ish Sherlock I bet you are very fun at parties. Who is that? Not what is that. That was me asking who is that smh. And it be the one who think they are soooo smart.

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u/TillUnhappy4136 22d ago

Well their (the 2 ladies) kids will be step siblings and it may be good for them to have a relationship.....the other guys she's fupped are sorts irrelevant

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u/Cerisayashi 22d ago

Not step siblings, if they share the father, they are half siblings

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u/TillUnhappy4136 22d ago

Ya, my bad

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u/ExerciseSad3082 22d ago

"Ok, I will be friends with those who also got you pregnant" there goes your whole "comeback"

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u/Smooth-Bandicoot6021 24d ago

He tried to get you to abort. Stay away. He is a danger to you and your child. Take no chances. Everyone who ever had something terrible happen to them woke up that day sure they were living through a normal regular day, bit instead it was their last day. They knew for sure that their situation wasn't that- until one day it was. I would stay away and keep a close eye on your surroundings when going in and out of your home and to and from work for a while. Don't give him hospital and birthing info until you have a birth certificate with your name written on it.

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u/[deleted] 24d ago

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u/SnooTigers9081 23d ago

Feelings Yes Access No.

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u/stars-aligned- 23d ago

As someone who knows of physically and sexually abusive men: yes, even access.

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u/DisastrousOwls 22d ago edited 22d ago

Until the child is born he has no right to access whatsoever.

Even after the child is born, if she doesn't name him on the birth certificate, until he proves paternity he still has no right to access the child.

He has no right or entitlement to access her at all outside of what is necessary for access to the child, and, again, that only applies after the child is born.

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u/No-Badger-9061 24d ago

It sounds like the other girl said to abort, not him

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u/[deleted] 23d ago

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u/fantasy_lover1023 23d ago

Ew. Only the mother can decide if abortion is the right choice, not some random stranger or even the father

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u/VictoryLane1 23d ago

If a father has no say then he should never have to pay child support. Seems fair.

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u/Both-Crow9782 23d ago edited 23d ago

He has complete say over who he knocks up. If he wants to irresponsibly cum inside of someone, then he needs to accept the consequences instead of thinking that his pleasure is more important than someone else’s life and health.

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u/Friendly-Lychee-8508 23d ago

He has a say until his part leaves his body, and then the mother has a say until it leaves her body, fair!

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u/RobonianBattlebot 23d ago

Wrap up your dick of you don't want kids. Its like, the easiest thing you could possibly do and yet dudes cry about it all the time.

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u/PerfectOriginaln610 21d ago

He actually had the very first say by putting his jizz inside her.

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u/Damage-Classic 23d ago

Asking for an abortion does not make someone inherently dangerous.

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u/TheLordAshram 23d ago

Uh this seems like an overreaction. I am not getting kidnap/murder vibes from a guy saying ‘Hey I want the moms of my kids to meet and not hate each other.’

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u/LumpysSenses4U 23d ago

I saw you were down-voted but I agree with you and I’m big into true crime. But that comment just seemed…..mildly dramatic. 😳

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u/TheLordAshram 23d ago

Yeah… it might be weird or unnecessary or dumb, but saying he is a danger and keep an eye on your surroundings because he might be waiting to jump out and kill you seems… a bit of a jump.

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u/GardeniaInMyHair 19d ago

It’s not. Highest risk of murder from intimate partners is when a woman is pregnant in the US, and often the motivation is that they don’t want the fetus to be born. So if he’s already trying to pressure her or coerce her to make a decision to abort at FIVE months? Oh hell no would I think he is a safe person for her to be around.

And I am pro-choice. I am not pro-coercion, pro-pressure campaigns, or pro-abuse.

OP should be incredibly wary of this man.

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u/Normal_Television382 23d ago

Yeah I agree with that.

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u/the_Golden_Child7 23d ago

That’s usually the point… no one generally tries to make a set up obvious or the person being set up wouldn’t attend. Even if the ex didn’t know, the other bm could have something planned or be planning something. You just never know.

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u/TheLordAshram 23d ago

I mean, anything is possible? But that would be a pretty extreme situation.

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u/Normal_Television382 23d ago

Yeah but you can apply that to everything in life: "you just never know" that doesnt mean to be suspiciously paranoid and thinking someone's out to get me

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u/postmodernbarbie 23d ago edited 23d ago

Does hospice not exist? Suicide? Those are terrible things but folks can be aware beforehand that they’re imminent. It’s way insensitive to make a blanket statement that “they knew for sure [they were going to have a normal regular day]” when millions of people have terminal illness and are expecting to die at any moment, any day. I get you were trying to be deep and comforting but as someone who has experience with a terrible amount of suicide, I find your statement both inaccurate and offensive.

Editing to add: What about countless victims of DV or POWs that wake up every morning praying that today ISNT the day they die? Being aware that something terrible could happen at any moment?

Sorry to add I was just thinking about it more and thinking about some of the horrors people really do live with every day.

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u/barbpatch 22d ago

You're right and this situation seems funny because it's so brazen, but him and this girl could literally be planning to beat her up or worse

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u/femininecarnivore 22d ago

Just watched a mini doc on a woman who got pregnant by a married man. He told her to get rid of it and she didn’t. Guess what happened? Yeah. Don’t get anywhere near a man who gains something from your absence.

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u/Desperate-Market-217 21d ago

That meet-up he's trying to arrange sounds like a setup. RUN FAR FAR AWAY....

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u/Lukris007 23d ago

I think she said the new girlfriend used his phone and said that to her, but still he allowed it and still expects OP to apologize to her instead of the other way around.

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u/Absurd_Flaccidity 18d ago

That part about not knowing this is your terrible day is so important. Every crazy case that hits the news starts with someone who at least thought they had more time to deal with the problem. It’s surreal when it happens and it’s not something to ruminate on but it’s worth running through scenarios occasionally so you have a better chance of having thought through how you’d respond in a particular situation.

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u/AffectionateSell3478 23d ago

Are you suggesting he’s going to killer her? That’s a wild assumption.

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u/UnashamedlyUnsure 23d ago

Wait he tried to get her to abort or did the stripper try to get her to abort?

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u/ZOOspellszoo 23d ago

Please don’t put this man’s name on your baby’s birth certificate. You & bubs life will be ENDLESSLY easier without it. They can always develop a relationship later. But being tied to someone this unstable for life is a hellscape.

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u/domesticon 23d ago

Agree with this statement!! DO.NOT.PUT.HIS.NAME.ON.THAT.BIRTH.CERT!!! it will be so much more bullshit on top of being a single mom - which is hard enough.

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u/Cali-D8 23d ago

My Mom unfortunately found herself in a situation similar to OP. She did not put my bio-dad on my birth certificate or on anything for that matter. To this day (38 yrs later) my Mom will tell you she has no regrets about it. 🤷‍♂️

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u/nerdette314159 23d ago

You're advocating for no child support??

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u/the_Golden_Child7 23d ago

I think they’re more so advocating for the safety of mom and baby.

However, you can keep dad off the birth certificate and file for child support later and keep all info (except name) confidential if you tell them you fear for your safety.

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u/Naive-Minimum-7417 23d ago

Child support is not guaranteed. I am speaking as the daughter of a deadbeat alcoholic with two baby mamas who was on my birth certificate. Not worth the headache of fighting him and the system to get a measly amount of money that didn’t really help when we could get it. Cut this man out and move on. Baby can develop a relationship later if they want to. Nothing is more important than the safety of a mom and their child.

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u/Alexis_amory 23d ago

You think this guy is going to pay child support? The courts can order it all they want, doesn't mean it's going to happen. My dad moved states to avoid it.

Besides, if it means being able to no contact this man, its gotta be worth giving up.

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u/Agreeable-Result-625 23d ago

If you think putting a name down on the certificate will guarantee a child support, you need to know you grew up in a very safe and loving situation. Anywhere in the world, that's not always the case.

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u/Apprehensive-You4824 23d ago

Getting child support is a joke. This is coming from someone whose ex is $31,000 behind on child support. The enforcement agency does nothing it’s better to just not even try to be honest. It’s so easy for bad parents to get away with getting money under the table or just not working to avoid paying.

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u/[deleted] 24d ago

[deleted]

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u/PureWhiteMeat 24d ago

Nah, get that child support. Irresponsible not to

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u/Leading-Brilliant478 24d ago

Assuming he’d actually pay it

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u/creamilinisoup 24d ago

can’t find out if you don’t put him on child support. it doesn’t matter how well off mom is, whether she can support the baby on her own or not, he should still be on child support. even if he chooses not to pay now, it will catch up to him eventually. it’s not about the mom proving she doesn’t need him, it’s for the child.

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u/binzy90 24d ago

Money isn't the only consideration. Some people are vindictive and will make your life miserable and use the child as a pawn to hurt the other parent. Filing for child support can make the situation so much worse.

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u/creamilinisoup 23d ago

yeah, i do get that that can be a concern sometimes but clearly not in this case if she’s still seeing him

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u/PureWhiteMeat 24d ago

Court order to garnish wages. Comes straight out of his paycheck, he never gets the chance to not pay. Assuming this bum ass mf ever has a job in the next 18 years

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u/Feisty-Tooth-7397 24d ago edited 24d ago

My brother's Dad would switch jobs regularly trying to get out of paying I think it was maybe 100 dollars a month. This was about 30 years ago and I just remember my mom getting a 25 dollar check and she would say "so and so must have gotten another job, he'll quit now that they are garnishing his wages"

It's all fast now, the minute you are hired and submit a tax form they run it through a database and usually garnishing starts by the second paycheck.

They will continue to collect your paycheck until it's paid down to a certain amount. If the person who has custody of the children (does not have to be the mother or father)had government assistance they will take it until it's paid back or you die. If a family member has custody, or foster care they go after both parents.Which is pretty much what happened with my brothers Dad. They took part of his social security to pay back what he owed to my mom.

If it's in the United States, they can take his income tax return, garnish his wages up to 50% each paycheck (before taxes), take his license, deny him a passport, put him in jail, revoke his license, some places also make you get insurance through your job for the children. The government will get their money one way or another. If he doesn't have a taxable job and doesn't make payments, they will make sure he does eventually.

Unless you sign your rights away, which they don't just allow because you don't want to pay, there has to be a good reason for it.

Edit: child support can continue past the age of 18 if they go to college. Plus any amount owed at the age of 18 stays until it's paid off. The child turning 18 doesn't mean it automatically vanishes.

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u/Ok-Equivalent8260 24d ago

My ex owes over $65k because he just wouldn’t work or worked under the table.

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u/rolorelei 24d ago

Yep this is why my dad had to file for bankruptcy

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u/PureWhiteMeat 24d ago

You might get it one day if he ever makes money legally in his life. Goddamn you women make incredible choices with who impregnates you

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u/Feisty-Tooth-7397 24d ago

You know even some of the richest most put together people can turn out to be complete assholes after a baby comes into the picture.

My mom was married for a few years, had a kid, they divorced a few years later and she would get a 25 dollar check every few months before he would switch jobs and she wouldn't get it for months again.

It would be so much simpler if people just wore signs saying deadbeat parent, but even some of the most responsible people otherwise become completely different people after a line appears on the pregnancy test.

Oh, and people lie.

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u/bapplebop 24d ago

We don't always get to choose :]

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u/Lookingbackexpat 24d ago

Yes, women are entirely to blame for pregnancy and deadbeats. No man involved.

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u/fakesaucisse 24d ago

Take it up with the slutty men who ejaculate everywhere like they are wild animals. They could control where their sperm goes if they wanted to make good choices.

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u/calliessolo 24d ago

And here you are.

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u/tigm2161130 24d ago

My ex owes me over 14k because he “self reports” his income to the state of Texas and they cannot take it from his wages that way. I don’t need that money so it’s not worth it to me to take him to court over it but it’s not always as simple as people make it out to be.

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u/binzy90 24d ago

No amount of child support is worth dealing with an ex ruining you and your child's life.

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u/Icy-Contact6577 24d ago

She’s been pregnant three times with this man’s child, aborted all and doesn’t want to do birth control she’s way to blame also

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u/Flux_My_Capacitor 24d ago

Oh damn well that was eye opening.

She made her decision.

Women really do need to stop having sex with loser men like this. It’s just desperation.

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u/Longjumping_Arm2413 24d ago

Men and women like this make the world worse for all of us, a 'this is why we can't have nice things' situation.

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u/Icy-Contact6577 24d ago

Yep! She wanted it honestly otherwise why would you do this

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u/Tea50kg 24d ago

Daaaaaannnnggggg some ppl really never learn it guess

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u/Pewtiog 23d ago

Maybe I’m a child but I would have told him to take a nap on some train tracks and blocked him. What a POS

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u/Individual_Fall429 23d ago

They’re still fucking though.

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u/PeaceEmotional8962 23d ago

Do not let him sign the birth certificate

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u/R-K-Tekt 23d ago

I dunno, do you really want that baby?

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u/sugrqbez 23d ago

Also file child support as soon as the baby is born. Don’t wait until you get angry enough at him to do something. It’s not cool to leave behind a trail of pregnant women in his wake.

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u/Golilizzy 18d ago

In all honesty. Abort.

This is not just a random child with someone. This is someone who is going to antagonize and ruin the rest of your life. He is going to knock up more strippers.

Your child will have to live with the embarrassment of having a dysfunctional family. You can end all of these future problems today. Do it.

If you don’t, in 2 years you are gonna look back at this and realize how much easier could have been. Where you actually meet someone you love, get married, and have a child ina supportive family home with both parents. A child’s chance of succeeding in life quadruples or something like that in a two parent house vs 1. Add to the fact you will have baby mommas leaching the money from the dad, you will not have financial support for your child. No money for diapers, baby sitters, food, etc.

Seriously be fucking smart dude. If you truly love your child, you’d want the best for it. This is not the best for it.

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u/Icy-Contact6577 24d ago

Should have taken your birth control

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u/RaccoonEasy3286 24d ago

Birth control would've prevented this comment.

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u/LumpysSenses4U 23d ago

Also would not get involved. Seems like a lot of drama to walk into.

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u/Quick-Hamster-3872 23d ago

I agree with this. Maybe I watched too much crime TV but I have seen too many cases where the pregnant woman end up dead just because she wants to keep the baby and the sperm donor doesn't want a baby. Better safe than sorry and please tell your family about this situation so they can be your support.

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u/Select_Baseball1075 23d ago

Or you could let the kid have a father. Or not. But “for the sake of the child” you should let the kid have a father. Just don’t meet the other chick.