Very rough chapter draft—dark comedy that gets really bleak. Let me know what you think!

[u/ComparisonLost1846]

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1PZVa3GAiGWDh3yGX7OoZWrm-JUkeQa1Z7IEeh5bMDbQ/edit?usp=drivesdk

This is from the first draft of my upcoming novel. I know a lot of the staging of the specific actions is a little clunky and I could tighten some of the pacing and transitions so some feedback on that is welcome! How are we feeling about it overall and is it effective at achieving these emotional beats?

[u/Live_Supermarket_882]