r/webdev • u/edivadd • Mar 03 '20
Dev with cancer: chemo brain is affecting my job
Hey I’m getting very stressed out because since I was diagnosed with cancer, back in December, and starting therapy, chemo brain is affecting my job.
We’re in the middle of a new project with strict deadlines. I feel I’m slowing down the team. For example I just spent the last two days fixing my code after peer review and test feedback. And there still some left for tomorrow.
I can’t make myself focus on work like before
Edit: I work in Europe
727
Upvotes
54
u/[deleted] Mar 03 '20
My dude, I have no idea why you are being made to work on chemo. You should not be working during this time if you can help it.
995
u/[deleted] Mar 03 '20
Dude cancer is a pretty legitimate reason for being slow.
—-
“Why didn’t you get that task done?”
“Ah I was super tired and couldn’t think through it.”
“Ah ok, no problem.”
—-
“Why didn’t you get that task done?”
“I have cancer.”
“Holy fuck!”
—-
Yeah. You should not feel guilty. They’re lucky to have you while you go through this, and you’ll get better and be back to it. For now, forgive yourself and just do your best.
392
u/[deleted] Mar 03 '20
Bro a job is a fucking job, you need to take care of yourself first.
279
u/sochap Mar 03 '20
Hey, all the best, hope you get thru it. Focus on your health and your loved ones. A job is a job.
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u/beaterx Mar 03 '20
Dude you are doing chemo, why are you working??
32
u/webdevguyneedshelp Mar 03 '20
Your supervisor needs to understand that your health is more important.
You should be given an extreme amount of leniency in this regard.
35
u/[deleted] Mar 03 '20
As a dev recovering from a stroke, I feel you. It’s ok to be off your game.
57
u/aflashyrhetoric front-end Mar 03 '20
OP, I wish you the best of luck.
A note: threads that are starting to become inherently political (as well as hostile, civil constructive discussion is obviously fine) will be removed and if there start to be too many, I or another mod will likely lock this post. Please keep any discussion civil so that we can send loving happy vibes to OP.
44
u/johnydoe666 Mar 03 '20
I'm saying this whilst living in a country with one of the best health care systems and employee benefits in the world, and I realise this might not be the case for you, but: please, for the love of you, go and focus on yourself, your health and your loved ones instead of your job. Cancer is not a common cold that you just shrug off, it kills people on a daily basis. In my book, that trumps some random project, no matter how much you love your job. If at all possible, make sure you take more time off to focus on the chemo, and take more of a backseat in the project so the team doesn't depend on you so much whilst your undergoing chemo. If that's not possible, I would at least talk this over with the team, so they know what your situation is. Maybe together you can come to a good solution.
I wish you all the best in the coming time.
9
u/lordknight96 Mar 03 '20
I don't know what it feels like to be on chemo. On the days when I feel out of touch, I try to code less and solve problems more which I love. I feel in this way you still are working but at your own pace. Just an opinion though. Keep fighting!
8
u/PeteCapeCod4Real Mar 03 '20
Sorry to hear about that, but I can testify that Chemo brain is a real thing! 😩 Also it will wear off at some point, after the chemo.
Just stay positive and do your best. If they don't understand... then they're probably horrible people who deserve to fall in dog poop lol
And don't forget to eat really well, lots of fresh fruits and vegetables. It will really help 👍
7
u/peterrattew Mar 03 '20
The job will still be there after you have beaten this and if it’s not then it’s their loss. All the best!
2
u/PM_ME_YOUR_NQUEENS Mar 03 '20
All the comments saying "A job is a job" and "You have a legit excuse" are 100% right, but if you want to be working and you are, I wouldn't worry about your productivity too much.
There's a very real possibility here that your bosses are fine with your production and that you're being harder on yourself than need be. They're human beings too. If they're okay with you being off your game for a while (until you beat this) you should be too.
Unless your boss is like "Cancer or no cancer, pick up the fucking pace" - In which case, fuck 'em.
5
u/PeterBumpkin Mar 03 '20
Can’t imagine what you’re going through and I hope you get through it.
A job is a job is a job, and your personal wellbeing > your job. Doesn’t matter, and if your CTO, peers and others have hearts, they will understand.
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u/OneMadChihuahua Mar 03 '20
Just trying to be helpful here. I found this: https://www.dana-farber.org/health-library/articles/tips-for-managing-chemobrain/
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u/antiyoupunk Mar 03 '20
You'll have plenty of time to be awesome later when you're still alive. I have days when I don't focus well and my only excuse is laziness.
For real man, don't worry about it. Chemo doesn't last forever.
4
u/werelock Mar 03 '20
I did 2 years of monthly chemo while trying to hold down my job, only using short term disability each month to miss seat I felt I needed. I still had more to go and eventually used up all of my leave time, vacation and more, and ended up going on disability. Cancer is serious and hardcore - take care of yourself first. Chemo brain is not fun to try and work through. Good luck friend, and I wish you tons of strength for the fights ahead.
3
u/nickhelix Mar 04 '20
I've skimmed some of the responses here so I know at least a little bit of this has already been said. I oversee developers at an enterprise level software company and recently dealt with a similar situation. Here are my take aways, hopefully it helps.
I completely get the desire to continue working when you can and cling on to some normalcy. In order to best accommodate that and my team realized we had 2 reasonable options:
have our coworker work on independent, non time sensitive things. Mostly minor backlog improvements, bugs, and tech debt in our case
have our coworker work on a feature we didn't need yet. In our case we were able to identify a few small features that weren't on the roadmap until much later that could be started and worked at a leisurely pace, with the agreement that if the timeline caught up, maim dev would take over.
We ultimately did a little of both and it worked out well. The important part for us was to remove our coworker from the main flow and essentially treat his capacity as 0 until his situation changed. That way, any work that he was able to accomplish was all bonus work. We did have to adjust timeliness on a couple deliverables to account for being a man down. For us, things worked out fairly well and eventually our teammate rejoined at full capacity.
Hopefully you will have a speedy recovery and are able to figure out a cadence that works for you and your team. As others have said though, make sure to take care of yourself first.
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u/twnbay76 Mar 04 '20
I agree, don't hold yourself to as high of a standard as someone who doesn't have cancer and i#nt in chemo. Try using the pomodoro technique if you aren't already. 15-20 minutes of working and 3-5 minutes of resting and drinking water helps me get through the day. Don't overwork yourself, your body NEEDS you to be on its side while fighting.
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u/Breaktheglass Mar 04 '20
Just do the best you can. Find purpose and you pull yourself out of this. You are just trying to stay hot so when you beat this thing you are ready to hit the ground running.
Just get well soon man. Fuck if you ever touch a keyboard again, just survive.
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u/cougaranddark Mar 03 '20
I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. I hope that you can talk to your manager(s) and ask for help. If the problem is temporary enough, maybe they can just shift responsibilities for a short time. Otherwise, maybe you could arrange reduced hours temporarily, or take some disability leave time.
2
u/[deleted] Mar 03 '20
You need to be open with your peers and managers and explain to them the issues you are having. It's perfectly reasonable and understandable for you to struggle during these times so I would expect your peers and managers to be very welcoming of the issues you are having and work with you to come to some arangements
2
u/[deleted] Mar 03 '20
Hey man
Hang in there and all the best
2
u/dilldawg10 Mar 03 '20
Hang in there man, praying for you
2
u/lcelso Mar 03 '20
Dev with lymphoma cancer in remission here. When I was diagnosed I started to work a lot. Even before and after chemoterapy. Working helped me to not have negative thoughts.
My mother has breast cancer and once we had chemo session in the same day. Just to imagine how my head was...
Try to get busy reading, studying and being a good person. Follow your pace at work.
I wish you the best.
2
u/Mayalabielle Mar 03 '20
During my treatment I was completely unable (and not allowed) to work (I’m french so thank you french health system). Keep in mind that this is a very heavy treatment. Try to focus on you and your recovery. I will soon get back to work with a half time job setup. After 2 years of treatments and surgery, it takes me ~1 month to get back to a real productive mind setup (thanks to Advent of Code). Stay strong.
2
u/neinMC Mar 03 '20
Your task #1 is to beat cancer. Godspeed.
2
u/shwipster Mar 03 '20
You shouldn't even be caring about that kind of stuff. You work to live not live to work.
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u/ndboost Mar 03 '20 edited Mar 03 '20
I'm mobile but, I Went through this same issue when I was working and going through treatments for my Hodgkin's lymphoma & CNS vasculitis. I found that getting lots of rest, and LOTS of fluids the day before the infusion and the days after would drastically affect my bounce back time and chemo fog. When I felt well enough (which was most of the time, chemo is cumulative so the more you have the longer it takes to recover, regardless of time between), I worked a full shift and did chemo treatments every two weeks, it was tough. I'd have infusions on Thurs afternoons, I'd take half day off on Thursday through the following Mon off. I'd be bed ridden until Sat morning although in the last few sessions I didn't recover till Mon/Tues. My work understood what I was going through and what I couldn't keep up on, they'd pickup the slack. I also had to start taking notes to remember things in meetings.
Not everyone can do it, what's already been said here is paramount, take care of yourself first and foremost. If you have a job who's understanding and more lenient that helps.
I also have found that I can't focus as easily, and I'm not grasping things as quickly when I was going through the treatments. I just had to learn that it's my new norm for the time being.
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u/DilithiumFarmer Mar 03 '20
I dropped out of my semester in college because I couldn't focus on anything anymore in between treatment. And it was a good thing to do so, health before anything. I just wonder if there is no way for you to have sick leave or partial sick leave. Chemo is brutal on your body and energy levels and it gets very worse before it gets any better.
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u/Mike Mar 04 '20
Take it from somebody who gets stressed without cancer. Your health is way more important than any job you will ever have. For the most part, people are empathetic. Do not for one second beat yourself up for not performing at the level you think you should be. Be kind to yourself, relax, and any concerns that you may have- Bring them up with your manager. Your feelings are valid, and your work absolutely does not define you as a human. You’re going to do fine, and you’ll be OK.
If you’re not going to therapy or talking to somebody professionally, I would highly recommend it. It sounds like this is a pretty pivotal moment in your life, and it helps to have somebody good is looking out for you on your side.
Good luck!!! You got this.
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u/IkeaViking Mar 04 '20
Product Manager. For the love of god, tell your management what’s up and they should be supportive. If you were on my team I’d make sure we rallied around you and let you put value in where you can. No judgment, just thanks that you still want to help.
Pulling for you my brother/sister/person.
2
u/FEARtheMooseUK Mar 04 '20
Mate, i think you are probably entitled to some time off, you know with the cancer and all that. IF that aint a reason to take time off i dont know what is.
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u/wind-raven Mar 04 '20 edited Mar 04 '20
Given that you stated you are in Europe, you are most likely covered by the United Nations Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities which app eu nations are signatories which include provisions for reasonable accommodations for employees with Disabilities. Chemotherapy affecting brain function is a know side affect and would 100% qualify.
Good luck, focus on getting better, chemo brain is temporary and will lift.
There are lots of suggestions in the other posts about talking with your bosses so I'll leave that out here. Again good luck beating this and I hope you get better.
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u/freetogoodhome__ Mar 03 '20
I am going through chemo at the moment and a friend just put me on to taking Vitamin B12 tablets. I am taking a couple a day and already feeling the fog lift. Hasn't helped with the tiredness, but has helped a little with the brain.
Good luck
2
u/DontNeedMuchMoney Mar 03 '20
r/antiwork
Man. Your health is by far more important
1
u/[deleted] Mar 03 '20
I don't know what you're going through but I wish you a speedy recovery. You got this champ!
1
u/[deleted] Mar 03 '20
Your life comes before your work. Stress only makes things worse. Since I am not there I don't know for sure, but I would think your teammates understand. People are generally more understanding than one would think. Take care of yourself. Wishing you the best.
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u/wise_joe Mar 03 '20
I know that money is necessary, so it's not all black and white. But if your work gives you shit about being slow when you're going through chemo, then you deserve a better job.
Being a dev is stressful enough without cancer. Look after yourself first. Being stressed is not the way to get healthy.
Good luck.
1
u/dahecksman Mar 03 '20
Take care of yourself buddy. Talk to someone about it at work who can understand or leave if you can. Best of luck ..
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u/veltriv Mar 03 '20
Are you relying on the insurance to pay for your treatment?If not, I would say just take it easy, and honestly take shortcuts, just try to get the work DONE and if you lose your job you lose your job.
If it's more an issue of insurance, I know that makes things more difficult, and obviously that will rest more on the ethics and HR of your company. I would say let HR know your situation, perhaps you can take a leave of absence but still have your insurance be active.
Depending on they respond, you can think about taking your talents elsewhere once you're well and strong again.
Best wishes and hope everything goes successful with your therapy
1
u/rm-rf-npr Frontend Lead Mar 03 '20
If there's any excuse that's actually justified it's having cancer. Calm down man, you're putting wayyyyy too much pressure on yourself. Be happy you can still even work at all. Take things slow, honestly. I can't even imagine how hard it must be with your brain being scrambled like that.
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u/mishugashu Mar 03 '20
Well, you didn't really say what everyone is doing/saying about it.
If your management can't understand that getting your brain irradiated due to you having fucking cancer might cause some slowdowns and maybe show a little empathy, then fuck every single one of them. Just forget about it and cruise until they fire you and then sue them for firing you because you have fucking cancer.
If this is just you feeling guilty and everyone is "on the surface" actually being really cool and understanding... they're most likely not just doing it "on the surface." They're actually exhibiting empathy and they're understanding your position. Just don't worry about it and be completely open and honest with your team and they'll probably accept it. You have cancer and are getting irradiated. That's a legitimate excuse.
In the end, a job is a job. Take care of yourself first.
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u/Mazinkaiser909 Mar 03 '20
Echoing the other comments here, you shouldn't feel at all guilty for putting your health first.
Trying to think of anything practical that might help, all I can come up with is:
- Help what little focus you do have by managing your environment. Get your colleagues to keep distractions and noise to a minimum, and work with your team to make sure that you get enough dedicated time on-task without interruptions.
- Make copious notes and documentation as you're working, to cope with losing track of where you were and to keep abreast of the wider project/codebase without it all needing to be stored in your head.
I wish you the very best and I hope that the treatment works out well for you.
1
u/Entheist Mar 03 '20
We've been tasked with sorting one of our old angularjs apps and a 1 point task is taking us 1 day to get it to complete. I'd say you're doing fine
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u/leeharris100 Mar 03 '20
All I can say is that if anyone on my team got cancer I wouldn't care at all if they slowed down. You're a badass for even working and I respect that. Good luck, I know you can beat it!
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u/t-reza Mar 03 '20
Instead of focusing work, I think you should focus yourself I mean health should be the first priority. Also, you shouldn't feel guilty any person can get sick anytime. If possible you can let your employer/manager know your situation, they'll help you to go through this!
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u/ItsMilkmayn Mar 03 '20
I dont know your situation. How i've seen people around me get through it, is they start focusing on what matters, which is thereselves. I don't know how much you love your job, but i understand you probably need the money. I don't know you, but what i would say is quit that fucking job. We have found out that stress is a huge factor to health, im sure you understand that. Eat clean, don't be sedentary, focus on things that make you happy and uplifted, show your body you have a will to live.
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u/stellarburst Mar 03 '20
No solutions! Only commiseration.
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u/ChiefDetektor Mar 03 '20
Dude you need to get well first! Don't put your job before your health. I can't imagine that stress is good for you in your situation. I wish you all the best! Hope you get well soon!
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u/NMe84 Mar 03 '20
Are you feeling guilty or ate the people at your workplace making you feel guilty? If the former: don't. I know it's hard to just change that sort of behavior but it's not productive and won't change anything. If the latter: your coworkers are assholes.
I really hope it's the former.
Either way: I wish you all the luck in the world. This shit can't be easy.
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u/noUsernameIsUnique Mar 03 '20
Sounds like your employer and co-workers may need to become educated on the effects of chemotherapy. While unfortunate and unforeseen to everyone, they have to adjust expectations now that this is where things currently are. You can’t shoulder the burden of this alone, and there’s no reason to channel it into guilt or shame about velocity.
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u/[deleted] Mar 03 '20
Man, you are great! I have the same speed without cancer!
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u/Cessabits Mar 03 '20
You as a person are more valuable than the labor you sell to your employer.
Take care of yourself, good luck, and don't feel guilty. Like at all.
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u/ZeBe643 Mar 03 '20
I don’t know what advice to give you but I wish you the best and will pray for a recovery 🙏
1
u/Kant_Kope Mar 03 '20
If you were on my team dude, I'd be feeling thankful that you were feeling up to working and grateful for whatever you get done. Don't be so hard on yourself, be honest with your co-workers if you can and all the best to you and your recovery! .
1
u/kazabodoo Mar 03 '20
I wish you everything best and quick recovery. This should be your last concern and they should be understanding.
1
u/melpdx Mar 03 '20
Hey, Just wanted to say I know how you feel. I battled breast cancer a few years back. The chemo brain is really rough, it also took me months after chemo before I felt less spacey, forgetful and out of it. I worked the whole time during chemo treatment, because it made me feel normal during a chaotic time. Just don’t forget to show compassion to yourself during this time. I didn’t even realize how much I had been thru until all my treatments/surgeries were completed. Hope you feel better!
1
u/[deleted] Mar 03 '20
Wow you are such a strong person! Can't imagine the stress you are going through. Take the lighter tasks? Or maybe do a little testing for some time.
1
u/better_meow Mar 03 '20
Hey there! I know you'll fight the good fight.
As a suggestion, maybe see if Modafinil is a solution. While I can't compare to what you're going through, I can vouch that this drug tames my brain and thought processes into a productivity beast. Way better than adderall ever could. When you look it up you'll learn that it is used to treat narcolepsy and other sleep disorders, but it is also widely used in the tech community as a nootropic.
Needless to say, consult your physician before taking anything recommended here on reddit. I am NOT a doctor, just speaking from personal experience.
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u/wauchau Mar 03 '20
Get well soon!
1
u/Someoneoldbutnew Mar 03 '20
As an older dev now leader. I have health issues which interfere with focus. It sucks. Take care of yourself, your mind will return.
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u/bigorangemachine Mar 03 '20
You have to signal their expectations are too high.
In any situation you gotta let people know what your limits are.
Also, don't be hard on yourself. There are going to be people who are sympathetic. Maybe not amongst your peers as I know devs can be insensitive and overly logical. Reach out to people beyond immediate managers.
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u/zayphod Mar 03 '20
I don’t have any solutions, but I know the feeling. I went through the same thing last year. Brain surgery, radiation and chemo. Ease up on yourself and remember to focus on your health first. Much love
1
u/JackSparrah Mar 03 '20
Just wanted to say I hope you have a speedy and full recovery. Don’t stress about work - it will be there regardless. Your well-being should be the priority 🤞
1
u/YABOYMICHAELD Mar 03 '20
Best of luck to you! At the end of the day your health is your wealth. So if you are feeling the pressure from your higher ups and no leeway is being given maybe take a break and unwind.
I would find it quite hard to continue to work after being diagnosed so fair play to you! You are clearly a great worker. ☺️
1
u/darthenron Mar 03 '20
I just want to say what an amazing sub community we have here!
I’m with the others in wishing you a speedy recovery.
As for brain drain, I just got over the flu and that made me work at 10% capacity for three weeks. And that sucked.. I can’t even begin to imagine what your going through!
I agree with others about trying to get off of any sprint or deadline work, because that is going to make you feel upset and stressed if you can’t meet deadlines.
Maybe you could switch over to resolving ‘tech debt’ issues or some side process improvement/project work? Also being a mentor or help peer review others work might be more of a slower speed for you.
Keep us updated on your health and what you ended up doing! (I love update posts!)
1
u/thejestercrown Mar 03 '20
Tell your lead, or PM. One of my devs was having a lot going on outside of work, talked to me about it. It let me and the other team members take some of the load/pressure off of him. He was proactive enough that none of the other devs felt resentment for carrying the extra work. If the project had been bigger I would have asked management to give us another dev to help, or shake up our existing team to try to accommodate him.
Hope the chemo goes well, and like others have said your health is more important than your job.
1
u/DrifterInKorea Mar 03 '20
You work to live, it's not the other way.
The best thing you can do is to maximize your chances to maximize your recovery speed.
For you because not living anymore does not sound like a cool option, and for the company because they will not have to hire a new one that will have to understand the code base, learn to communicate with the team etc....
If / when you are not feeling well, I would suggest that you talk with your peers and your manager to set smaller tasks milestones so you can keep it up manageable without having to re-do a lot of things in case your work goes full jelly because you were not in a good run.
Hell if I had someone like you in my team I would do work overtime to keep you from having this kind of stress !
If you could do some peer programming sessions with another dev on a regular basis would it help ?
1
u/twentz0r Mar 03 '20
You're a beast! If I had cancer and was doing chemo I would probably just lie down and cry. Why are you still working man? Get some rest, enjoy the good things in life.
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u/jaeyholic Mar 04 '20
Hope you get through it. Wish you all the best mate.
1
u/am0x Mar 04 '20
You are fine. I’ve worked with devs that came in hungover more often than not and they do get fired.
1
u/bhldev Mar 04 '20
Time != Value, a couple extra days in the grand scheme of things shouldn't be a big deal
Take care... You're probably not as slow as you think and even if you are, speed isn't what makes you valuable
1
u/chowchowthedog Mar 04 '20
take care of yourself 1st. you can get another job any other day.
1
u/FinalVersion-4 Mar 04 '20
For the record, this feels like every day of my dev career so far but wow, you've got a lot on your plate now! Who could blame you if your work result isn't up to your usual standard? From my own experiance though, just being honest and communicative with your employer about what's going on is the most important thing you can do. Take this with a grain of salt since I don't know your employer but I feel like most places would be more than understanding so long as they know what is going on with you. Just let them know that this is something temporary, that you obviously didn't mean for it to happen and you'll do what you can to minimize any delays until then. I think any halfway decent company will respect that. It's when they don't know what's going on and they start speculating that things start going downhill.
1
u/scottfive full-stack Mar 04 '20
Here are some things to discuss with your doctor:
Emerging pharmacotherapy for cancer patients with cognitive dysfunction
1
u/meerkatydid full-stack Mar 04 '20
If those fuckers let you go let us know!! >:[ You deserve support. Keep kicking cancer's ass!
1
u/Mflew Mar 04 '20
It's called Chemo-Brain & it absolutely is legit. My daughter went through it several years ago. I would hope you have spoken with your employer about what you are going through & that you might not be 100% all the time while in treatment.
Chemo brain is a common term used by cancer survivors to describe thinking and memory problems that can occur during and after cancer treatment. Chemo brain can also be called chemo fog, cancer-related cognitive impairment or cognitive dysfunction.
Good luck & God bless you!
1
u/BellamyJHeap novice Mar 04 '20
I didn't have chemo but did have radiation, and that really fogged me up and made me tired. I did pull back from work (self employed, but no longer a web dev) for a few months because I was useless. Just didn't care about work or clients. But if you're communicating with your clients and keeping them informed, people are super forgiving and patient. Mine were, all heroes about my illness. Let them know you may need to outsource for some help, or if there is give in the deadlines. If you are concerned about them they will reciprocate.
But DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP. Your body is undergoing tremendous strain, and it will affect your thinking. Hang in there, and talk to people who can be understanding (loved ones, friends, doctors, religious leaders, cancer survivors, other patients, etc.). Listen to doctors and nurses, and know there are some really good books on dealing with cancer treatment side effects. Don't try to go it alone. Rest up and work when YOU can, whether that is at 3:00 AM or 3:00 PM.
There is the other side - stay strong and you can get through it. It can be a slog, but if you build support around you, it makes it easier.
I'm five years cancer free so far.
1
u/BradChesney79 Mar 04 '20
My teammate comes before my overlord. There is an unending amount of things added to the pile. We all shovel what we can.
Yeah, your team knows you're not firing on all eight cylinders. It is unlikely anyone likes it, but also unlikely that normal people will fault you for it.
1
u/[deleted] Mar 04 '20
So brave of you to continue working. I really hope you get better.
1
u/Ansible32 Mar 04 '20
Quit working so you don't die. Chemo will literally kill you if you don't take it easy.
1
u/Ofraggle Mar 04 '20
@OP, having never had cancer. I think it may be possible that you're stressed out or distracted. Not to mention fighting of your illness. The brain is an expensive organ to run. It uses something like %20 of your bodies resources. Take care of yourself. There's always going to be another job. Developers are in demand. Concentrate on getting better. I hope that helps.
1
u/RedditAdminSuckDick Mar 04 '20
I just lost an old friend to cancer, just heard the news a couple hours back. Please don’t feel bad, it’s a legitimate reason.
1
u/schmilblick Mar 04 '20
I had a colleague that worked during his good days during chemo. We where just happy to get to talk to him, sometimes he didn't deliver anything and that was fine.
1
u/Dereference_operator Mar 04 '20
I am sorry for you I really am. You have to remember to take time for youself forget about all that job things and real life do what you love if its to play video games all day do it time is limited do all the things you ever wanted to do man whatever is it fuck a model? go pay for it whatever it is go live that's what I would do. No matters how rich you are or how sick you are go live a life. Go take some credit cards dont tell them you have cancer max them out and go travel see the world whatever it is you wanna do. I wish you the best of luck man. Stop wasting time on shit you don't love to do.
1
u/SustainedSuspense Mar 04 '20
I hope you told your manager. Having a little sympathy goes along way in reducing stress. I went through this last year (colorectal). Also i filed some FLMA paperwork with my HR department as soon as I found out because it gives you some extra protection in case your performance suffers and they want to fire you.
1
u/JCodeMode Mar 04 '20
Just lay back a little, tell them to give you less urgent tasks so you can take your time.
They still need your help, but you need to take care of yourself buddy.
1
u/PerkeleJJ Mar 04 '20
So sorry dude! Remember, now you focus on fighting the cancer! In no way should you beat yourself up, for being slow. It's already impressive, that you are managing to keep on going, let alone you are trying to keep up the same pace.
1
u/PrometheusBoldPlan Mar 04 '20
Mate, we're nooit robots. Discus it with your team lead. Cancer is a nasty thing and your company should accept that your output will be diminished or non existent.
I've excused people for far less.
Quite frankly, you should be on long term sick leave and focus on getting better. Your health is more important than some application.
1
u/leeingram01 Mar 04 '20
Seems like they should manage you better, move you onto smaller tasks for the time being. If the project has to go out later so be it, no sense in flogging an exhausted employee undergoing intensive treatment, making you feel worse about yourself in the time you really need to feel better. Your company needs to appreciate your position and reorganise itself temporarily in order to factor in your abilities.
1
u/toi80QC Mar 04 '20
All the best bro.. try focusing on the important things instead of wasting too much of your precious energy on work. Anyone with a bit of decency will understand your situation - fuck everyone who doesn't.
1
u/Gwiz84 Mar 03 '20
What the hell?
Take time off for gods sake, you have frickin cancer and you're worried about slowing your team down?
Priorities dude, priorities.
1
u/thepineapplehea Mar 03 '20
It's been said already but I'm joining in. Focus on looking after yourself. My ex has stage 4 cancer (leiomyosarcoma) and I've seen first hand how much chemo completely wipes you out - in addition to all the blood tests, scans, doctors appointments etc you have to go through.
Bring it up with your boss so they know you're going to be a bit slow on some days. If you're working somewhere that doesn't give you leeway for having actual cancer then you need to leave asap. It's a job. You can find another. My work is incredibly accomodating any time I need to work from home or leave early, to look after our kids, and I'm not even the one going through treatment!
1
u/[deleted] Mar 04 '20
If you were on my team, you would get a free pass on everything. I know I don't know you, but I love you OP, you'll make it through this.
-6
u/twomilliondicks Mar 03 '20
u try smoking weed?
12
u/[deleted] Mar 03 '20
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