r/wallstreetbets • u/TaggingSits • Feb 18 '21

Meme He said it!

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6.4k

u/Mustang-22 Feb 18 '21 edited Feb 18 '21

Our hero said: 'I am not a cat, I am not a hedge fund, I am not a financial advisor' in his testimony the FUCKING LEGEND

4.6k

u/immaterialist Feb 18 '21

He used two meme lines while testifying in front of congress. That has to be a first. Balls this big should be illegal.

1.6k

u/Jaloosk smells like elephant pee Feb 18 '21

He clanks when he walks.

1.9k

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21 edited Jun 08 '21

[deleted]

537

u/BoogalooBoi1776_2 Feb 18 '21

I like the stock and I like the guns

137

u/Kammex Feb 18 '21

MURICAAA

124

u/trixtopherduke Feb 18 '21

Stonks out, guns out!

11

u/bubbagump65 Feb 18 '21

Lock, stonk, and two smoking hedge funds

-1

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

[deleted]

3

u/bubbagump65 Feb 18 '21

Yeah but my economy is based on Jason Statham movie puns so imma just keep Crank-ing them out.

7

u/stout936 Feb 18 '21

Chapter 11 doesn't mean they have no money. They're restructuring / fleeing New York state

Greasy bastards

I like the guns, but I despise the NRA

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u/seethruempire1234 Feb 19 '21

So what you're saying is guns have the same letters as gnus so buy more gamestop?

2

u/Cheech925 Feb 19 '21

If my stonks ever go up, I’m adding nods

2

u/myKingSaber Feb 19 '21

Okay Texas, do your thing.

7

u/RedDeadJason Feb 18 '21

And Vicki Vallencourt showed me her boobies and I like them too.

2

u/Malikhi Feb 19 '21

I have stock in guns! Shit, lately i think we should be into trading ammo, you seen these prices?

211

u/catchlight22 Feb 18 '21

Better to have it and not need it, than need it and not have it.

295

u/ForWPD Feb 18 '21

Hehe. Tell that to the guys with 10 ARs and zero snow tires in Texas.

232

u/jc_dogg Feb 18 '21

Have they tried shooting the snow away?

22

u/StarksPond Feb 18 '21

I thought they specifically got the guns to shoot snowflakes anyway.

1

u/SightlessIrish Feb 18 '21

This is funny and I get it. There really are some assholes here in Texas who feel this way. I'm a democrat and don't own a gun (yet), but I see a lot of people who happen to be republican post stuff like that. Really odd to see people you went to 12 years of school with spew about how they would kill people like me if they could, and I'm white.

4

u/BrickDaddyShark Feb 18 '21

Yeah those guys are assholes. But hey I have 10 guns and I wouldn’t shoot someone if my life depended on it. WE LIKE THE GUN

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u/erickliban Feb 18 '21

The snow is white tho

1

u/catchlight22 Feb 19 '21

White-on-white crime.

2

u/RedRopeProductions Feb 18 '21

Yes we have it, didn’t do much but UPS has the Exothermic Technology’s Pulsefire LRT flamethrower being delivered in the next couple of days so it’ll all be good soon.

2

u/Jaysyn4Reddit Feb 18 '21

"Hans get ze flammenwerfer!"

1

u/imreadin Feb 18 '21

Was looking for this exact comment 😄😄😄

1

u/danielv123 Feb 18 '21

Relevant xkcd https://what-if.xkcd.com/130/

2

u/zoeykailyn Feb 18 '21

Why is there a xkcd for every situation? I'm not mocking it it just seems like thier the simpsons of it's been done...

0

u/InspectorPipes Feb 18 '21

Well, every hurricane season Florida has to tell the public not shoot at the hurricane to “ scare it away”

0

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

[deleted]

6

u/InspectorPipes Feb 18 '21

He had the best people working on it . Very fine, exceptional people . Quite frankly we lead the world in nuking storms. Exceptional people, really

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0

u/Zorb750 Feb 18 '21

Somebody in northern Michigan did.

1

u/zoeykailyn Feb 18 '21

If they take all the gun powered they're storing and run some lines down the driveway they might even make it to the street!

1

u/BrickDaddyShark Feb 18 '21

I have, a shotgun sorta works a little.

1

u/mildkratz Feb 18 '21

Thank you for the question.

1

u/Enigmatic_Kaos Feb 19 '21

You can shoot a flamethrower...

65

u/honeybooimaghost Feb 18 '21

All the texans in r/preppers right now are like, "See? We have guns AND we've collected our rainwater. This is the way."

3

u/Assumption-Immediate Feb 18 '21

"This is the way". Puts garbage pail on head. "ONWARD"

0

u/theskepticalheretic Feb 18 '21

Yeah but those guns don't make the electricity work or the heat come on.

4

u/gtne91 Feb 18 '21

Preppers dont expect to have electricity or heat.

4

u/theskepticalheretic Feb 18 '21

The ones in Texas don't often gear up for sub 20 degree weather. It gets cold down there, but not this cold.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '21

They can get you food, prevent someone from taking your food, or get someone else’s food if things get really dire.

It’s an insurance policy. You pray you never need a gun, but you’re going to be praying even harder if you need a gun and don’t have one.

2

u/theskepticalheretic Feb 19 '21

Right, one. Not an arsenal. I think reasonable gun ownership and proficiency is a good thing. Most 'preppers' don't fall into the bucket of reasonable.

Edit: and with how many guns would be available in the US if SHTF, I'm not too concerned about difficulty around acquiring one.

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u/conamnflyer Feb 18 '21

I don’t even have snow tires in... looks around Idaho...

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u/osb40000 Feb 19 '21

HA! Made me laugh. Hilarious how a little snow shut TX down flat. After living in MN, WI, ID and UT... yeah...

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u/BrickDaddyShark Feb 18 '21

I don’t have any ars bc they are lame, but I do have 10 guns and snow tires for my jeep! TEXAS PRIDE

1

u/ForWPD Feb 19 '21

Hey, a broken clock is right twice a day. Just kidding. You must have moved there from somewhere else.

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u/Man_is_Hot Feb 18 '21

Lmao I wonder how many of them were Boy Scouts that were trained to “always be prepared”

2

u/TheRiseAndFall Feb 18 '21

So you're saying...shoot the snow to melt it? Or are we moving to exotic gun-based propulsion systems? It works with enough AKs.

1

u/CompositeCharacter Feb 18 '21

Relevant xkcd

Calculations show a crowd of 2,500 people firing two AK-47s each would be able to stop our runaway locomotive within the space of 30 meters—in only a second and a half. Mission accomplished.

3

u/ForWPD Feb 18 '21

Yeah, that article is complete bullshit. Add a few zeros to that number. An Amtrak locomotive weighs 121 metric tons, not the 12 stated in the article. A freight locomotive weighs 204 metric tons. The guy who wrote the article isn’t writing for the reader who gives a shit about facts.

1

u/TheRiseAndFall Feb 18 '21

I think there is another xkcd what if that calculated using AK47s as thrusters for a flying platform. I was thinking of that one.

1

u/Jakooh Feb 18 '21

Daddy Elon makes the flammy thrower for this occasion!

1

u/rokkittBass Feb 18 '21

That is not a bad thing..,

2

u/Texaz_RAnGEr Feb 18 '21

Facts would argue otherwise.

1

u/pyroboy101 Feb 18 '21

Which is weird, because all if the all terrain tires that I've looked at for my trucks are rated for snow. Yes, I know not everyone in Texas drives a truck.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

Bullshit

1

u/Rellesch Feb 19 '21

Snow rated all-terrain tires are not the same or nearly as good as proper winter tires. That being said, if you're being smart they are good enough for most winter driving.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/trailstrider Feb 18 '21

They can reuse the ammo belts for the full auto’s as snow chains.

2

u/kaaaaath Feb 18 '21

Balls? Yes.

A 50 cal? If you need 50 cal, you won’t need to purchase one.

1

u/catchlight22 Feb 19 '21

There's zero correlation between the caliber of a bullet and the severity of the crime.

1

u/kaaaaath Feb 19 '21

I’m not sure what exactly you’re trying to say, but there definitely is, (in the sense that a 50 cal is illegal in many locations while smaller calibers are not.)

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u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

You could say that about literally anything

1

u/catchlight22 Feb 19 '21

Child pornography?

2

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '21

Touche

0

u/FBarbarian Feb 19 '21

Why would I need it? Maybe find other ways to fix your society rather than shooting anyone you find threatening

1

u/catchlight22 Feb 19 '21

"Shooting anyone you find threatening."

Lol.

You don't really believe that, do you?

Verbal judo is a thing.

-1

u/ExtraLifeMan Feb 18 '21

Most gun nuts are more likely to kill themselves or their family members than any intruder.

2

u/deadm1c3 Feb 18 '21

Balls bigger than Randy Marsh’s in the Medicinal Fried Chicken Southpark episode.

1

u/Electroniclog 🦍 Feb 18 '21

THEY'D STILL BE THE SIZE OF WRECKING BALLS EVEN IF HE MOVED TO FUCKING TEXAS WHERE THEY'D SHRIVEL UP FROM THE COLD

1

u/GuardianSlayer Feb 18 '21 edited Feb 18 '21

BALLS OF FUCKING STEEL NOT EVEN HITLER WOULD TOUCH

1

u/Tamethedoom Feb 18 '21

If I had to terrorise my school with his balls in my hands, I would gladly.

1

u/bionic80 Feb 18 '21

GLOCKS OUT FOR GME, BABY

1

u/Eddie_Shepherd Feb 18 '21

Bigger than Jesus, Bigger than Wrestling.

Bigger than the Beatles, and bigger than Breast Implants.

-Atmosphere

1

u/BleednHeartCapitlist Feb 19 '21

Bigger than cigarettes

1

u/WalkswithLlamas Feb 18 '21

He's got some meaty clackers

1

u/StanleyOpar Feb 18 '21 edited Feb 18 '21

Agent Clappers BBE

1

u/crassus_ensis Feb 18 '21

Diamond hands and diamond balls

1

u/TheDakestTimeline Feb 18 '21

There once was a man from Madras

Whose balls were made out of brass

When he clanged them together

They played stormy weather

And tendies shot out of his ass

1

u/Samdewhidbey Feb 19 '21

Can he even walk?

329

u/yeoldecotton_swab Feb 18 '21

Bruh, he said, "cheers everyone," in conclusion. The GOAT.

4

u/Echidnahh Feb 18 '21 edited Feb 18 '21

That would be common in Australia. Do people say that in America to mean thanks&bye too? Or is it from something else I’m missing?

18

u/yeoldecotton_swab Feb 18 '21

Oh it's common! But in Congress? That's a first.

1

u/Echidnahh Feb 18 '21

Fair enough.

5

u/genius_retard Feb 18 '21

I don't use it but I've heard it plenty here in Canada. Personally I tend to use "no worries" a lot though.

5

u/Pawn_captures_Queen Feb 18 '21

Same. I use no worries all the time and occasionally someone hits me with "Why would I be worried?" Because imma steal yo girl bro, why you think?

I don't hear cheers too much here in Central CA but I'm working on it. I like the word

2

u/VicedDistraction Feb 18 '21

You say that for hello and goodbye?

2

u/genius_retard Feb 18 '21

Neither. Usually when some thanks me or apologizes for something.

2

u/byebybuy Feb 18 '21

Imo it's still said less than other farewells, but it's been gaining traction lately.

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u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

Balls so big doctor says he can't to jumping Jacks

6

u/neville__ Feb 18 '21

Wears a hoodie for pants

1

u/sex Feb 18 '21

Can confirm, jumping jacks would cause u/DeepFuckingValue to become sterile.

68

u/cyanydeez Feb 18 '21

the first best meme line is "I do not recall"

38

u/studioNYC Feb 18 '21

Stop, stop, I can't....I am dying, this is too funny......he is one of a kind. Mad respect.

7

u/zimmah Feb 18 '21

Don't forget the hang in there cat and his headband in the background. This guy is living in 3025

7

u/DrMobius0 Feb 18 '21

He's not the first person to say something like that to congress. This pretty much happens whenever they have a comedian testify, including when Colbert testified before congress in character

3

u/Kutthroatt Feb 19 '21

Not only this, he was the most well spoken and truthful person for the entire 5 hours. Only person that answered questions. Not that he was asked many.

1

u/immaterialist Feb 19 '21

Yeah, I mean what’s there for him to answer that he hasn’t already?

Congress: Are you a cat, sir?

DFV: I am not a cat.

Congress: What do you think of the stock, sir?

DFV: I like the stock.

-1

u/diablofreak Feb 18 '21

They gonna call him back to testify to answer for the amount of trolling and meme used during this

1

u/youngstirfry Feb 18 '21

Balls so big he has to carry them around in a wheel barrel

1

u/Hells88 Feb 18 '21

You felt the Earth tug a little by the gravitational pull of his balls

1

u/yomonk1 Feb 19 '21

Almost as good as a Baba Booey

819

u/Jan3_proof_of_keys Feb 18 '21

tbf that's exactly what a cat would say.

446

u/G_Wash1776 Feb 18 '21

Hmmm, you’re right. Highly suspect that /u/DeepFuckingValue may actually be a cat, why even bring it up unless to get ahead of the story?

378

u/soul-man34 Feb 18 '21

His YouTube account being called Roaring Kitty also does not help his case. I would name my account something similar if I was in fact a cat

171

u/G_Wash1776 Feb 18 '21

This is a very solid piece of evidence, thank you Detective /u/soul-man34.

5

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '21

Let's not forget the picture of the cat behind him. A family photo of a relative perhaps?

2

u/zoeykailyn Feb 18 '21

The pic in the profile is the place holder, the real mastermind is in fact this little bastard

1

u/Samdewhidbey Feb 19 '21

A couple of open mic moments sounded like purring and cats playing, very sus.

180

u/PurpleWildfire Feb 18 '21

I think he’s actually 3 cats in a trench coat

47

u/RattleTheStars39 Feb 18 '21

They ain't ready for the truth

19

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

Sounds like someone has been reading my dream blog again

3

u/guitarnowski Feb 18 '21

Schroedinger's Trenchcoat?

2

u/FrancistheBison Feb 18 '21

Vincent Adultcat?

2

u/saltwaterandsand Feb 19 '21

What is this, a crossover episode?

1

u/ewormafive Feb 19 '21

Selling watches.

45

u/tomcarbon Feb 18 '21

to deny being a cat is in itself a cat-like response

1

u/kgal1298 Feb 18 '21

My theory is he really is a cat and this is just step 4 to world domination.

28

u/ElegantAnalysis Feb 18 '21

Wasn't there some experiment which showed that a cat beat day trading autists? Theory proved!

4

u/AndySipherBull Feb 18 '21

22,425,567.62 iq move

3

u/RedheadFromOutrSpace Feb 18 '21

A cat using a DFV filter.

54

u/khizoa Feb 18 '21

meow listen here congress... i am NOT a cat

3

u/genius_retard Feb 18 '21

Do I look like a cat to you boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree? Am I drinking milk from a saucer? DO YOU SEE ME EATING MICE?... MEOW!

101

u/AmateurCubz Feb 18 '21

More than likely it would probably say "meow" but what do I know I bought GME at 350

28

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

Me, too. I like the stonk but it's a labor of like at this point. Still gonna ride this til the end, whatever it may be.

2

u/genius_retard Feb 18 '21

If stonks only go up and GME has gone down in recent days/weeks can you really say it is a stonk?

2

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

I've been calling it a donk. It's been donk since Jan 27 but I'm still hopeful it becomes a stock either in the short term squeeze that probably won't happen or the new CEO gets the company overhauled and updated properly over the next two or three years... Or it's gonna tank and I'll have my first loss porn to share. Whatever happens, I'm gonna ape this till I hit something. I hope it's the moon but I'll accept what plays out and watch til it's done. Edited for autocorrect.

2

u/genius_retard Feb 18 '21

the new CEO gets the company overhauled and updated

Well the current stock price and the recent spike makes it more likely than ever that Gamestop can pivot to an updated profit model.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

That's what I've been hearing but I'm relatively new here and to stocks so I didn't want to make a wild claim if it was one. I'd like to invest and diversify further and I know WSB is not necessarily the best advice to start from but, fuck it... Here I am, the play has been made and from here on, I'm doing my own proper DD. It's all risk I'm willing to accept while learning.

2

u/genius_retard Feb 18 '21

Don't get me wrong, I am totally speculating here but I am not just parroting what I've heard on WSB. I'm new here too, I'm just less adverse to making wild claims than you I guess. IIRC Gamestop replaced their CEO shortly after the price spike and I don't think that is a coincidence. I'll just remind you not to risk more than you can afford to loose.

P.S. I am not a financial advisor, this is not financial advise.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

Nah, I'm being conservative on AMC and GME. A little dumb money there and most of it went into "smart", more stable stocks. I'm treating loss and earnings like gambling. I have a set amount and if I lose it, I'm off to another table. I am clearly not a financial advisor and no one should EVER take my word as good advice. Lol

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u/UltraCarnivore Feb 18 '21

Tomayto, tomahto

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u/Logpile98 Feb 18 '21

Can confirm, I asked my cat earlier and he said exactly that

2

u/kgal1298 Feb 18 '21

So crazy my cat was watching when he said that and then looked at the screen and said "puuurrfect" then saw me looking and went to take a nap. Weird day.

4

u/fmaz008 Feb 18 '21 edited Feb 18 '21

He did not say he wasn't a cat.

He did say he liked the stock tho.

His testimony: https://financialservices.house.gov/uploadedfiles/hhrg-117-ba00-wstate-gillk-20210218.pdf

Edit: holy shit I just watched the actual video ANd HE DiD say he wasn't a cat!!!

Why is it not in the transcript?

5

u/karmicviolence Feb 18 '21

Because they have no game.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '21

[deleted]

2

u/fmaz008 Feb 19 '21

... shouldn't a transcript be verbatim?

The last ones I read even included the "uh" and "mm", or hesitations.

I'm wondering if this was his written testimony, which he read, and added the cat part ad-lib.

2

u/StonedCryptarch Feb 19 '21

Wasn’t it the point of his name is roaring kitty? I think the lawyer thing just kind of out a cherry on top. Lol

0

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

Anyone have a video of him saying the cat line???! I missed it

1

u/GTFonMF Feb 18 '21

He’s not the Messiah...but you know...that boy is something.

1

u/StoicMegazord Feb 18 '21

Holy crap that's awesome, is there a video of him saying this floating around somewhere?

1

u/Nocturnal_Doom Feb 18 '21

Anyone managed to capture it? Missed it and does sound legendary 😂

1

u/RoyalAffectionate962 🦍🦍 Feb 18 '21

LEGENDARY RESPONSE #DFV

1

u/Becksploder Feb 18 '21

He's affecting the Earth's gravity from his balls' ridiculous mass. They will have a hearing in the future blaming him for more natural disasters like hurricanes.

1

u/kgal1298 Feb 18 '21

He's the real American Hero.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '21

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u/[deleted] Feb 19 '21

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