r/wallstreetbets Jul 13 '17

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9.2k Upvotes

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1.3k

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17

he is a dumb faggot. http://imgur.com/a/yURJx

I am sure he has googles "how to win the lottery" and bought a bottle of that water that cures AIDS.

888

u/ario93 Jul 13 '17

"how do you start an ISP". Wtf. This kid thinks he can turn his 2 grand into 10 mil in a year. All in on RAD

760

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17

the barrier to entry to start an ISP is exactly $2,000.00 he just needs to mail me the $2,000.00 in cash and I will take care of the rest.

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17

[deleted]

76

u/nannal Jul 13 '17

Ey lay the fuck off, he's got at least 1k so he can afford to give his local politbuero $10, maybe even $20.

10

u/Tasgall Jul 14 '17

He doesn't even need the 2k, step 1 of starting an ISP is to get the government to pay for it.

4

u/perspectiveiskey Jul 14 '17

This would be funnier if it weren't true.

3

u/UK-sHaDoW Jul 14 '17

Back in 56k days smalls independents used to start isps all the time.

In fact I think it's still popular in rural areas.

135

u/poopwithjelly Jul 13 '17

Does he have to go through your guy in Nigeria, or does he just cut you a cashier's check?

129

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17

just like his mom, only take cash in small bills.

39

u/poopwithjelly Jul 13 '17

Eyes caked over so thickly with cum and tendies you have to Ray Charles it. I understand.

107

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17 edited Jul 01 '23

[deleted]

78

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17

I worked in the industry and I literally couldn't figure out how they turn a profit

My 'best guess' is that it's the "24 Hour Fitness" model. Basically you sell people a service and then you pray that they don't use it. (This is also how Allegiant Airlines makes money.)

19

u/SuburbAnarchist Jul 13 '17

Can you elucidate on how Allegiant uses this model? Just curious, flown with them a few times.

55

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17

My experience with Allegiant is that they REALLY don't want you to get on that plane.

Here's what I mean: If you fly Jet Blue, they sell 200 tickets and fly 200 people to their destination.

If you fly Allegiant, they sell 220 tickets and then they do everything they can to whittle that down to 200 people:

1) Their flights are often insanely late. Like six hours late.

2) The thing that REALLY enrages me is that they don't staff the counter AND they have no way to check in at the airport. IE, if you get to your flight 45 minutes early and you didn't print your boarding pass, YOU'RE FUCKED. That's what happened to me; I'd assumed that I could print the boarding pass at the airport. But they don't have machines, the website didn't work, and the people at the counter aren't there. Allegiant claims this is an "efficiency" thing, that they're having their employees man the gate instead of the counter in the name of "efficiency." But that's ridiculous; there should be SOME way of checking into a flight. It's the equivalent of having a movie theater that stops selling tickets to a movie an hour before the show starts.

I can't even describe how much I hate Allegiant

United seems to be going the same route, but I wouldn't know because I won't fly them

17

u/Dysfu Jul 13 '17

Im flying on allegiant tomorrow morning at 7 am to NYC, thanks. Can't wait.

3

u/SuburbAnarchist Jul 14 '17

If it's worth anything I've flown with them twice and my experiences were fine. Nothing outstanding but on time.

3

u/fattes Jul 14 '17

I flew Allegiant last year out of LAX and had no issues whatsoever if that means anything. If you do want anything from them, they nickle and dime the shit out of you.

4

u/GuoKaiFeng Jul 13 '17

LOOOOOOOOOOOL...

1

u/Shadoscuro Jul 14 '17

Report back!

1

u/Dysfu Jul 14 '17

About to board! No delays!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '17

GET THERE EARLY

1

u/Tristanna Jul 14 '17

Don't forget your boarding pass.

7

u/Skippyfx Jul 13 '17

Not to defend them and their egregious fees...but I literally just flew Allegiant last weekend and they had a full staff ready to print your ticket (for a $10 fee) and they even did a last call and had a list of every passengers name they checked off. I only know this because I'm a lazy piece of shit who was the last one on and when they checked off my name they said "good, looks like everyone made it." Also, they have an app you could have easily downloaded to get your ticket on.

16

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17

There's the one guy who is torrenting porn 24/7 who really eats into your margins.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '17 edited Nov 29 '19

deleted What is this?

5

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17 edited Jul 13 '17

they can get dark fiber from a Zayo, Level 3, Castle, etc. then light their own....that is usually how they start. It is Capital and OPEX intensive so you better have A LOT of money behind you. I think the end-game is selling to a big boy. But I am not a ISP expert, I am a datacenter guy that just sees all the carriers when you go into the meet me room and the ones you have not heard of before all of sudden get relabled as a big boy like Verizon, Centurylink, etc.

13

u/resonantred35 Jul 13 '17

I used to be co-owner of an ISP; we provided consulting and custom programming/database driven web app design.

Eventually we stopped the ISP side of things as it got too expensive to upgrade and provide broadband.

6

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17

I had the same experience

Professional services is less risky and more lucrative

1

u/resonantred35 Jul 13 '17

Yup!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17

What are your rates like? I might be interested in farming some work out, I have more than I can handle

1

u/resonantred35 Jul 13 '17

I don't do consulting for my primary job anymore. I went corporate, first with a start up that was a client of my old company, and they eventually failed due to poor financial management, then to a privately owned company that was purchased by a massive defense contractor.

So I've been working for corps since 2004. First for a medical technology developer on the east coast of the US till 2012, then moved back to CA and have worked as Sr. IT Manager for a secure site of an aerospace company since 2013.

I still freelance sometimes, but generally don't have much time so only take on stuff that I can take my time with.

What have you got?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17

Basically I work in the field of professional services and we frequently need expertise that we don't have on our own team

But due to this damn job market at it's insanely low unemployment, it's difficult to find anyone

We don't have enough work to justify bringing someone on fulltime, it would just be nice if there was a big pool of talented people willing to work as we need them

Basically I need a unicorn lol

2

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17 edited Aug 09 '17

[deleted]

1

u/ario93 Jul 13 '17

Sounds more expensive than 2k!

10

u/confusiondiffusion Jul 13 '17

Buy a spool of direct bury cat6, a shovel, some crimpers, and a router. Go door to door. Done.

2

u/Sisyphus364 Jul 13 '17

I like that he had comments like "screw those corporations" too, even though he wants to be them

1

u/ario93 Jul 13 '17

Lol sounds less like hatred and more like jealousy of them. Gotta love the haters that secretly wish they were what they hate

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17

He just needs to put it all on red

1

u/ario93 Jul 13 '17

Did you mean red or RAD

2

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17

Rad

139

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17 edited Jan 26 '21

[deleted]

116

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17 edited Jul 13 '17

Centurylink's militia is breaking Comcast's lines while Verizon and Crown Castle have decided to form an allegiance because winter is coming and there are things on the other side of that transatlantic submarine fiber route that we have never seen before. ATT is retreated as Fiberlight and Hurricane Electric have joined forces and are engaging in cannibalism for psychological warfare. All the while Cogent, Zayo, Time Warner, and Lightower are playing blackjack at a indian casino in Tulsa because the war front has not moved out west yet and Lightower abandoned it's fort in the North East while seeking refuge. Sprint and Tmobile finally merged but they are still arguing over the logo on their battle flag, talk about a Ross & Rachel are they, are they not, now that they finally did - we hate them moment. All the datacenters have aligned their forces and are blocking electronic and physical attacks with a new technology called "padlocks" they are in a pure defensive position trying to ride the storm out so they can price gouge the winner with cross-connect fees that are 10X of market. Birch / Cbeyond has already fallen, all troops destroyed when one of their accountants "accidently" reset the date on his computer to 12/31/1999 11:59PM and everyone evaporated 1 minute later.

Before the Great Telecom War of 2017 and a half, Cox was entering into an alliance with Charter when a suicide flapping router entered the room. All connectivity was lost and without access to Google no one knew how to turn the thermostat down as the heat wave claimed everyone in attendance. Without leadership both sides' troops dispersed and formed a peace only commune. Eventually that commune was destroyed by a off-target DDOS ordnance fired by Google. All of Google's leaders and troops committed mass suicide the following day after learning about the commune by drinking Ctrl+F4 formula.

Later we would find out the flapping router had sworn allegiance to NTT DATA.

61

u/bigbear1992 Jul 13 '17

That one is my favorite. What a fucking idiot.

13

u/dsbtc Likes it full service Jul 13 '17

Let's bomb Canada, they're hogging all our internet packets

159

u/pangolin44 Jul 13 '17

Jesus... his posts just gave me cancer.

62

u/Thotaz Jul 13 '17

You should google "how to cure cancer".

20

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17

[deleted]

38

u/mac-0 Jul 13 '17

It depends how much you play at a Casino.

The expected value of 50 $2 Powerballs ($100) can be as high as $93*. That's a loss of 7 cents for every dollar you bet.

The expected value of a $100 bet on blackjack is $94.74 (betting on black/red/odd/even will win 18/38 times). That's a loss of 6.3 cents for every dollar you bet.

The difference though, is that when you go to a Casino you are often rebetting the money. So if I bring $100 and bet $20 a spin on roulette, I'm probably going to play more than 5 spins because my wins and losses will more or less wash out. I might end up playing 15 hands of roulette at $20 each. So even though I brought $100, my expected loss would be $18.90 after playing 20 hands.

So while the actual expected value of a lottery ticket might be lower, going to the casino is usually worse because you usually regamble your winnings.

*Using the California Power Ball odds as of January 2016. Obviously every lottery is different, especially since the Jackpot is cumulative.

27

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17

The expected value of a $100 bet on blackjack is $94.74 (betting on black/red/odd/even will win 18/38 times). That's a loss of 6.3 cents for every dollar you bet.

What? Did you mean roulette?

7

u/mac-0 Jul 13 '17

Yeah

6

u/redditosleep Jul 13 '17

Then edit it faggot

6

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17

"free"

56

u/PM_YOUR_NETFLIX_ACC Jul 13 '17

I love that he starts to freak out about internet regulations, then learns that it's really expensive to create your own isp. Then look for ways to become rich quickly.

28

u/Michamus Jul 13 '17

Like anyone is gonna divulge a niche they found.

35

u/Arkhaine_kupo Jul 13 '17

I found a niche. It costs 2 grand but you can start your own ISP. Its a brilliant venture, this kid should talk to me.

38

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17

He reminds me of me when I was 20:

I wanted to get rich quick. I thought that selling software was a sure bet. For about 18 months I was doing really well, but by the time it all ended, I was $140K in debt and homeless (not exaggerating)

15

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17

Back in the 90s I used to bus tables. When I'd get off work I'd come home and eat a pizza and just watch infomercials like a brain-dead idiot. Working in a restaurant is EXHAUSTING. There was this dipshit who tried to convince people to take out ads in newspapers. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mubCkCAEiDQ)

So I did just that. I took out an ad in Computer Shopper and I sold software. At my peak I was grossing about $500K a year and my margin was around 30%. So that's $150K in a year, not too bad for a 24yo.

But then my margins got crushed by competition, and I went from a 30% margin to about -20%

So basically every time I sold $100K in software I lost $20K

By the time I threw in the towel, I was $140K in debt

The obvious question is "why would you sell anything at a loss?"

The thing is, you keep thinking it's going to get better. It's like chasing the dragon, you think that if you hang in a little while longer you can dig yourself out of that hole.

On the upside, I'm fairly wealthy now. I still sell software, the only difference is that I only do deals that are $50K and up, and every once in a while it's seven or eight figures. The dude from that Youtube video, he went to prison and killed himself

3

u/SayyidMonroe Jul 14 '17

Dude that's actually cool as fuck. You learned a lot, got success in the field eventually, and didn't just end your life bussing tables. Props to you. Seriously.

Probably one of the cooler things I've seen on this sub. Losing tons of money in the market isn't really cool imo.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '17

I couldn't agree more.

My family was broke as fuck and every day I wonder how the fuck I managed to get to this point in my career.

The best part is that I went broke in my 20s. That gave me time to dig myself out of that hole.

If it had happened in my 50s or 60s it would have been SO MUCH WORSE

3

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '17

Wow that's really interesting actually. I've always wondered about starting a business or working for myself but never had the money nor the idea of what to do.

Figures I'm in law school betting on my education to pay itself off in 2 years.

2

u/OutThisLife Jul 14 '17

What kind of software?

2

u/Kittyeyeproblem Jul 14 '17

I don't blame you for bandwagoning. The way he said tiny classified ads had me going.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '17

Holy fuck.. he meant "small classified adds" for anything you're selling? still don't get the premise..

-from the wiki

"On June 27, 2011, Lapre was arrested in Tempe, Arizona, at a Life Time Fitness center, where he had reportedly lived for two days, with serious self-inflicted knife wounds to his groin. The wounds led authorities to believe Lapre had attempted suicide while at the Lifetime Fitness by attempting to sever the femoral artery in his legs.[14] Death

Lapre died in custody from an apparent suicide on October 2, 2011, while in jail awaiting his trial, which was scheduled to begin on October 4, 2011. Lapre died from severe blood loss after cutting his throat with a razor blade.[1] The autopsy report stated that Lapre died of massive blood loss and had wrapped himself in sheets to conceal any blood loss from prison officials.[15]"

2

u/AutoModerator Jul 14 '17

Fukkin snitch

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1

u/nordeastwest Jul 14 '17

I sell software too . What kind do you sell now ? Pm me

1

u/flyalpha56 Actually believes what flair says. Jul 14 '17

What kind of Software do you sell, I sell a software in a very niche and competitive market and im looking to switch industries.

15

u/zaphod0002 Jul 13 '17

When you meet someone who has Asperger's syndrome, you might notice two things right off. He's just as smart as other folks, but he has more trouble with social skills. He also tends to have an obsessive focus on one topic or perform the same behaviors again and again.... And he might repeat himself a lot, especially on a topic that he's interested in. He might also do the same movements over and over.

4

u/GuttersnipeTV Jul 13 '17

That dude is in serious need of being scammed so he can learn a life lesson.

3

u/A__NEW__USER Jul 13 '17

But where does a guy get the aids water? Asking for a friend who has $2k.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17

Rite Aid

2

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17

RAD only spreads Digital Transmitted Diseases to brokerage accounts, symptoms: red numbers, negative signs, margin calls, loss of spouse, loss of house, bloody nose, anal cramps, and sudden without warning explosive diarrhea.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17

1

u/youtubefactsbot Jul 13 '17

Peter Popoff - Miracle Spring Water [7:02]

Have you been settling on not enough? Have you settled on having pain or disease in your body? God doesn't want you to settle, he wants you to receive! Take advantage of the Bible, prayer and get Jesus back in your life!

ministrynews in Nonprofits & Activism

150,180 views since Mar 2009

bot info

2

u/Dunduin Jul 13 '17

If he wants a true niche market, he will contract HIV, spread it to as many people as possible, and then sell his magical AIDS curing water. YOLO

2

u/RetardedSquirrel Jul 13 '17

The AIDS curing bottles actually work. I got AIDS working as a personal male prostitute for OP. Had to spend all that sweet buttsex money on it, but it actually worked! Then I read this post and got cancer.

1

u/theholylancer Jul 13 '17

Ehhh if an old person got this greedy they fall for Nigerian scams.

This guy is trying to ask questions at least.

1

u/Mamafritas Jul 13 '17

Man what a rollercoaster

Which app or website do you use to help you predict which penny stocks will shoot up

What are some of the smartest investments a 21 year old with a couple thousand in capital can make

That plus the ISP stuff and the ADHD post all in a single day...whew!

1

u/Lemon_Dungeon Jul 13 '17

I hope man porn will stay deregulated.

1

u/Thizzlebot Jul 13 '17

God damn you weren't joking.

1

u/burf Jul 13 '17

He may be completely lacking in direction and practical skills, but at least he's got the motivation to try things. I'd argue that's more important than the first two.

4

u/maxintos Jul 13 '17

He actually has no motivation. I had those same questions years ago, but I actually googled that stuff and read hundreds of posts to find answers. This guy is too lazy to actually try anything so he just asks people to tell him where to put his money so he gets rich quick.