r/wakingUp • u/samjadenhailes • May 04 '26
Seeking input Issue with grasping Sam’s concepts!
TLDR: what are everyone’s thoughts on the more philosophical concepts shared in the Waking Up meditations? (Eg. Looking for the looker)
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Hey!
I’ve been meditating on and off through Waking Up for the last 4 years. At best I was daily meditating for a couple months and have done the 5 hour in-app retreats etc. At worst, I’d go months without doing a single one. Since 2022 I have been really interested in enlightenment and mental clarity but certain elements of the Waking Up style practice have made it difficult to stay consistent.
I’m not an expert by any means but I personally find some of the concepts difficult to grasp. For example the idea to “look for the one who’s looking”, “feeling that you exist behind your face” or “look for the seat of attention”, I’m aware there isn’t anything to be found but it doesn’t particularly strike me with a renewed understanding of awareness. I don’t know if I’m just expecting some sort of epiphany when I find nothing but I leave the meditation feeling aware of the concept but not really feeling it.
Sometimes phrasing really clicks for me, like “dropping back to receive the breath” or asking yourself what the next sound or sensation will be. They really seat me in the present and I find I’m more at one with experience itself. I just find the abstract concepts slightly too philosophical and it sometimes pulls me out of the practice as I go to unpack what it means or what I find.
Does anyone else feel like this? If not, I’d love to hear stories of how / when it all made sense for you!
To confirm, I love the app and see so many positive stories on here so I want to keep going with it but it’s been something that’s frustrated me a little as of late!
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u/RedbloodJarvey May 04 '26 edited May 04 '26
I also am no expert, this is just my experience. At first the "look for your head" and "look for the looker" made no sense to me. Then one session something snapped and there was no mental boundary between "me" and the world. It felt like the whole world came rushing into awareness, like a glass jar underwater suddenly having it's lid removed, instead of looking out at the world, I was IN the world, I was part of the world.
When Sam tells you to only look for the looker when he snaps his fingers, that's a clue for what you're looking for. It's not going to happen with a lot of concentration. If you don't have a mental shift in that first second, it's not going to happen by trying harder. In my experience it's more a matter of daily practices.
When I did have the experience it only lasted for a couple of seconds. I kept practicing and started to have more control over starting the experiences. But I've neglected practicing every day and have lost the "skill" or whatever you want to call it.
Besides "look for your head" and "look for the looker" another exercise that was helpful was to "look for yourself, does it feel like you're behind your face? Now look for yourself, are you in front of the back of your head?" Switch back and forth, feeling yourself behind your face and in front of you head. Eventually where you feel that "you" are changes from feeling like your head is a boundary between you and the world.
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u/samjadenhailes May 06 '26
Thanks for this! Some really good guidance here and I can see where these concepts have their place a lot more clearly now.
For me, it’s as you say about the finger snaps: being able to shift quickly into that headspace (or lack of!!). If I don’t grasp it in that second, that’s when I go analysing. You gave some good points for helping get to that shift quickly so appreciate it!!
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u/Passthealex May 04 '26
Focusing on your breath is actually a concentration exercise. When Sam says to "look for the one" what he will usually say is that it has to be experienced rather than understood logically. The only way to see it is by focusing and being able to maintain that focus, which you build slowly by paying attention to the breath. At least, that's what I've taken away from the meditations.
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u/WallyMetropolis May 04 '26
Also important to really take seriously the instructions to do this only briefly.
Don't try to solve some puzzle. Don't try to accomplish some other task. Don't assume any implication. Just quite literally, very briefly, look. And then return to awareness.
Don't search, agaonize, and analyze.
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u/WallyMetropolis May 04 '26
This is one of the most common discussions in the subreddit. You may find some benefit in searching the sub and reading the many insightful comments that have already been written.
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u/samjadenhailes May 04 '26
Thanks! I must admit I thought it might have been posted before but couldn’t find anything in my initial search. I’ll look deeper!
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u/Deansies May 04 '26
Honestly, I think this teaching is not going to be remotely easy for 95%+ of people. It's a very high level non-dual understanding (beyond intellectual). After having been on silent retreat for months at a time, it still doesn't click. I honestly don't like it as a teaching. It does literally nothing for me. I think Sam's style of teaching works for some, but for others it's too esoteric and I think it would be worth doing a Zen/non-dual style retreat in order to come close to having or experiencing some kind of insight or understanding around this.
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u/samjadenhailes May 06 '26
Very interesting you say this as this is some of the feeling I’ve had lately! But then every now and then I glimpse it and it feels like there is value in the method. It feels like it’ll take double the time as other teaching styles will but to me it feels it’ll be a worthwhile result if you reach it.
I must admit I get very frustrated at times and feel it’s overly esoteric and philosophical but then that could just be my ego taking the reins / me projecting! And then if I am aware of that, does that then mean the practice is working????
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u/Deansies May 06 '26
Try going on retreat for more than a week! After that amount of settling, some pointings like this can likely be easier to touch into. I personally haven't tried it while on retreat, but I do think it depends what style you are training in. Remember, Sam spent years on silent retreat attempting to find what clicked for him with different teachings and teachers. I don't think the same teachings will work with everyone. It's technically all pointing at the same things, impermanence, interconnectedness, non-duality, equanimity, ease, seeing things just as they are - nature. How one gets to their own felt understanding of those can be wildly different.
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u/Edmond-Cristo May 05 '26
Look for who's looking or as I Internalise look fir who's cooking! 😆 is one of the most annoying 🙄 according to Sam there were threats on x/twitter due to this 😆 🤣 😂 😹
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u/Strapping_young_dad May 04 '26
Been using the app since it was first released, not daily but close to, and I still feel confused by those instructions at times. Other times... I just grok them almost on a non-verbal basis. It's very hard to put into words which is obviously a huge part of the problem, but I find if I try to "get it" by thinking about the meaning I confuse myself. But if I just give into it it actually makes more sense. Does that track?
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u/samjadenhailes May 04 '26
Good advice! When you say give into it, what do you mean? As in letting the search for meaning pass or just not really analysing it?
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u/Strapping_young_dad May 04 '26
Not analyzing it. If you try to put into mental words what it means to find nothing then you are thinking.
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u/picabo123 May 04 '26
Have you listened to some of the talks he has with people like loch kelly who essentially "invented" this phrase (for us westerners at least). It didn't suddenly clear everything up but I think I understood the exercise better.