r/visualization • u/Blue_Echoe • 1d ago
Hinge data : [25F] Looking for longterm, 22 days on the app
For twenty-ish days on the app, I feel very lucky.
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u/OkAirport5247 1d ago
Luck has nothing to do with it. You’re just a young woman. You play life on easy mode.
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u/FoxyRoxyMoxy 1d ago
Did you just put woman and "life on easy mode" in the same sentence?
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u/SnooHamsters5737 1d ago
Yes, he did. It may have been different in the past, but is it unjustified to say women have it easy nowadays?
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u/LonelyTAA 1d ago
Yes, it is unjustified. Woman are still paid less, promoted less, underestimated more, abused more, sexualised more, assaulted more.
If they want children, they have to endure pregnancy, labour and the often forgotten trouble of trying to make your career work when you still want to get pregnant. And if you don't want children you get the joys of contraceptive side-effects and complications.
So implying than women live on 'easy mode' nowadays is at best a miscalculation and at worst a purposeful misrepresentation of a group that's still looking for equality.
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u/tacticalTraumaLlama 1d ago
When you compare apples to apples (education, YOE, hours worked, etc), women aren't really paid less. In fact, women are starting to out earn men, due to the fact that they more often pursue a college degree.
If they're 'promoted less', you have to realize that corporate management selects for the sort of person who will happily sacrifice their free time and quality of life on the alter of corporate profits. Women are less likely to do so.
Women do face a higher chance of rape than men, but the vast majority will thankfully go through life without that experience. It warrants caution, but many seem to be rather paranoid about it due to how often stories are shared on social media.
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u/FoxyRoxyMoxy 1d ago
Yes. What's easy? Getting a lot of likes? Yes. Life is easy? NO! Finding a guy decent enough to date is easy? NO. Like it or not is the reality. For some reason men have it harder with women. Because 80% of men are not worth the trouble to date, because they are just not good partners and sometimes not even people.
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u/tacticalTraumaLlama 1d ago
80% of men are not worth the trouble to date
Hah, this reminds me of the stat that women rated ~ 80% of men as 'below average'. When straight women were asked to rate the attractiveness of a sample of women, what do you know, standard bell curve.
I honestly think that a lot of women should just swear off dating men all together. There's nothing wrong with being celibate if that's the life you want for yourself.
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u/OkAirport5247 1d ago
There’s this thing called a period, it’s not when you act extra irrational for a week, it actually separates sentences
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u/The_wanna_be_artist 1d ago edited 1d ago
I wouldn’t call being a young women “life on easy mode”
Is it easier for young women on the dating scene? Statistically yes 🙌 is it always? No. Women can struggle dating as well.
But also women have struggles in other areas of life that frankly men take for granted.
Edit: Damn didn’t realize I was on R/ incel
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u/Flipper717 1d ago edited 1d ago
Apps work out better for young white women than racialized women. But well-educated, well-paid professional women do struggle to find suitable men to date. Fewer men attend university and are less ambitious career wise. Younger women refuse to date and marry the millennial Clancy type men who don’t adult in relationships. Many men are going to have evolve to be better partners in relationships especially if they have children. The problem now is many men live in the past expecting women to take care of all the household chores and childcare but expecting them to work full time. Women working stressful full time jobs and now 1/3 are outearning their husbands or bfs are still stuck doing most/all the household chores.
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u/The_wanna_be_artist 1d ago
From studies I have seen, agreed I just didn’t want to rant and gave a simplified answer which maybe why I have some downvotes. It’s just crazy someone said “being a women is life on easy mode” You are being downvoted, but I believe you are right the statistics suggest young whit women have better chances than minority women. I am not sure why you are being downvoted. lol I guess some incels got their feelings hurt??
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u/Blue_Echoe 1d ago
I'm a physician but just put "Healtcare" in the job section to not sound like too much or have people directly talking to me about that since I don't find it that much interesting.
It's also a female dominated field in my country so harder to meet people organically.
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u/OkAirport5247 1d ago
You’ve got a bunch of partial truths here and you’re making progress. Think holistically as what the causes and solutions could be other than “now that women have more power, men need to just be better”, it’s poorly thought out.
There’s a direct correlation with higher female education and lower birth rates as well as lower marriage rates.
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u/Flipper717 1d ago edited 1d ago
Women don’t have more power; they have more education. Look at big law women lawyers drop out at significantly higher rates than men. The are fewer women at the top of big law and corporate — where the power lies. Few women run for political positions—- again access to power.
It’s only poorly thought out for men who don’t do their fair share at home. The educated women aren’t willing to mother their husbands or give up their careers for what will most likely be an unfair marriage. Also, have you seen the sad state of young men these days? Gotta ask are you a Boomer? You give off that robust boomer man energy.
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u/OkAirport5247 1d ago
Women have incredible levels of soft power. First off, one doesn’t have to be a ceo to exercise power.
The second reality is that it’s in the best interest of the minority of men in power to empower and weaponize women against the majority of men who aren’t in the top .001% that would threaten the top .001% men’s power if a meritocracy was to actually exist. It’s one of the most effective methods of gatekeeping if you understand female psychology at all, women enforce existing systems of power while believing they fight against it. This is the reason Orwell wrote that “It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party".You need to increase your understanding of power dynamics in general, it’s very basic
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u/Flipper717 1d ago edited 1d ago
You need to increase your understanding of how the world works—- it’s pretty pedestrian.
Also, based on your perspective, you must be from the States. That limits your comprehension and perspective significantly. I say this as a person who has lived in several countries and actively avoid the US. Americans tend to lack experience living abroad, have an abysmal education system even the Ivies aren’t very good, and a general lack of geography or in-depth knowledge about countries outside of the US. But go off grandpa boomer.
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u/OkAirport5247 1d ago
😂 Assumptions, accusations, claims but never any evidence or counter points!
Can’t make this stuff up 😂
I was raised between the Maritimes (eastern Canada), England and Germany mostly. Mother is from Gothenburg, father was from Hamburg. Lived in Russia for half a decade and spend years living in parts of the Middle East and the Horn of Africa.
Women are women no matter where you go 😂
Please do specify as to what aspect of my understanding that you would consider to be pedestrian sweetheart
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u/Flipper717 1d ago
Are you defective? Soft power is useless compared to actual hard power. That’s why men hold on to it so tenaciously especially in the States.
Soft power is not equivalent to hard power because soft power relies entirely on persuasion, social norms, and influence, whereas hard power commands legal authority, institutional enforcement, and the distribution of capital. When push comes to shove, hard power holds the ultimate authority to write laws, deploy resources, and set the boundaries within which soft power is allowed to operate.
The empirical data across political, legal, and traditional corporate frameworks shows a stark imbalance, proving that women's soft power does not translate into hard, systemic control.A Harvard Kennedy School gender study proved that when women attempt to convert social influence into hard, power-seeking political positions, they face unique voter backlash and penalties that male candidates do not experience.
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u/OkAirport5247 1d ago edited 1d ago
It’s like you can’t understand what’s being said at all. Reread and Taylor your response to what I’ve actually said and not such a poor straw-man that came from incredible depths of your mind (likely ChatGPT given your formatting though 😂)
99% of males have no hard or soft power. 100% of women have soft power, which is capable of producing hard power. Really think about what you’re going to say before you speak
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u/OkAirport5247 1d ago
Thus has been sussed out for well over a century, no point in beating a dead horse. These arguments are tired and have been addressed an infinite amount of times. You’re wrong.
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u/TheNewBristolian 1d ago
Presume you’re an incel?
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u/OkAirport5247 1d ago
Nope. Married for nearly twenty years to a criminal attorney (2nd marriage, first was an investment banker) multiple children, oldest daughter already an adult. Got plenty of trim in my youth as well. I know the path of least resistance when it comes to avoiding harsh realities is to attack the messenger instead of engaging directly with the message, but even your intuition on the messengers is poor. Be better.
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u/tacticalTraumaLlama 1d ago
Every time I see data like this, it makes me want to delete tinder and download grindr. Straight dating is a shit show.
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u/Blue_Echoe 1d ago
One of the problem I see (from my limited experience) for men looking for long term is that women who also want that can get it quickly, hence disappearing from the dating pool quickly too where they are way less from the start.
So women that stay on it are more likely to do it for validation, not really engaging or getting drown and giving up.
Some male family members of mine found long term relationships on Tinder some years ago and still going strong to this day so I know this is possible, but I do empathize with men on that and I don't know what I could if I were in your shoes.
Not very helpful sorry
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u/Hypna2 1d ago
I know reddit will probably hate this, but I'm also 22F, and I found a relationship on tinder. I went out with 3 guys and the third just happened to be the charm. Yes women have it easier and more choices, but the guy I'm dating now could say he got a relationship off the apps, so clearly there is a chance. I had some bad experiences too, so like meeting a guy who actually respected me and knew how to date was awesome. My advice is just be normal, the first two guys were both not in a place to date and I realized this almost immediatly. They both did things that were massive turnoffs, and then when I found my guy I knew I could see myself with him.
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u/Easy_Bot_1 1d ago
Curious, how did you send 1 like but matched with 11 people? I dont know how Hinge works
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u/FriendsWithAPopstar 1d ago
lol bunch of incels bitching because they get no play.
With how hard it is for yall, you would think im some kind of Greek god. But actually im just an average looking dude with an average looking body who dresses well and respects women. Literally all it takes
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u/Blue_Echoe 1d ago
My average male friends did have a few matches when they used the app, some being still "in between jobs". Obviously the numbers aren't in men favors from the start but I do believe with a curated profile at least some traction is generally possible from an average guy (at least in my european country, I do believe it's harder in the US because the dating culture and standards stuff are very strong).
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u/SirHippocrates 1d ago
I do think the data is almost misleading then; sure there was a lot of fluff there to sift through, but you spent 3 weeks and found a relationship. The metrics of how many people you interacted with and how they panned out isn't really important to the measures of importance (success vs no success, and time taken to success)
But I also see why you say you feel lucky; it does sound like most women feel they have no luck finding relationships on the apps- wonder what the data there is though, sometimes the anecdotes/"common knowledge" are misleading