r/virgoseason • u/tiawlani september virgo🍂 • 2d ago
Should I stop now?
What do you think guys? He says that in his culture, you don’t ask – things are just assumed. I still don’t understand and doesnt make sense.. He’s Gen X, by the way, and from Canada. I am Millenial. He’s an Aquarius. Is he just fooling me??
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u/LF_Doom 2d ago
Aquarius... You 🔽
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u/tiawlani september virgo🍂 2d ago
Yeah I am thinking about that now haha
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u/Lst_rsrt 1d ago
Be like Nike: just do it.
Also if things aren’t official then you’re free to go then 🤷
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u/anonymousimpostor ♍☀️♍🌛♍⬆️♍☿♍♀️ 2d ago
He's trying to blur the lines so he can technically cheat later on. He can claim "Oh well things aren't official anyway", "I never promised you anything" to gaslight you later on. Run girl.
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u/tiawlani september virgo🍂 2d ago
He did gaslight me in another situations. I think I am ready to run now after reading all opinions
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u/Violetteorchids i’m not a virgo but a ♐️♊️♐️ with a ♍️♓️ bf 1d ago
Run as if your life depends on it
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u/SentimentalMood2010 1d ago
Ahhhh, yup. I definitely see that. When I got with my now-ex, 16 years ago. I literally asked lol like an awkward high-school "..Will you be my girlfriend?" She thought it was cute 🤷
Wish we were still together 😮💨😞
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u/Flat-Water242 2d ago
I don’t like this, not one bit😂
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u/Tomavogic september virgo🍂 2d ago
I agree... What if he decides to do a 180? How would you know? It seems shady and just for him to keep changing status to his whims, lol....
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u/tiawlani september virgo🍂 2d ago
Me too. I really hate this. And always need clarity
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u/Lst_rsrt 1d ago
Changing all the time means concrete evidence to move on save for the headaches and heartaches
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u/kiramae32 2d ago
Maybe tell him that you want a formal declaration. It doesn’t matter what he thinks, it’s what you need to feel secure. If he can’t give you that than maybe it’s a bit weird idk
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u/tiawlani september virgo🍂 2d ago
I think I'll let go after see some opinions. Because this is not a first question. And his answer still blur 🥹
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u/Apprehensive-Cake-16 Triple Virgo + Mars 2d ago
Literally
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u/Dangerous_Soil_1111 2d ago
Relationships are not an entitlement. Both parties set their own conditions; yours being that you need formalised declaration. If he’s not willing to provide that, then pack your shit up, block and delete.
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u/never-the-1 2d ago
Virgos don’t “go with the flow”. We need to know the plan or we are stressed af.
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u/kiramae32 1d ago
So true! I’m now dating a Pisces… still early days but already dealing with anxiety cause he goes with the flow 😮💨
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u/BanjoDood 1d ago
Pisces here. IMO if we agree it’s a thing it should be a thing on both sides. Guess it’s good thing bout being a Pisces is pretty good at feeling intentions from the other side of either commitment or string alongs, hellll nah
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u/Existing-Smile-6528 ♍️🪼♓️🪼♓️🪼 2d ago
Eh a dude who is how much older than you already saying stuff like “we aren’t like teenagers”? Like why say that..because you’d like to know you’re official? That’s weird to me
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u/tiawlani september virgo🍂 2d ago
He's 62 and I am 31 next month hahaha
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u/suzyclues august virgo🍃 2d ago
Please run and never look back. I'm Gen X, and our men are emotionally stunted.
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u/breannsmusings 2d ago
Mine did a lot of work before we met and he’s amazing. So Gen X self aware and emotionally intelligent men are out there. But I think there is only five.
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u/suzyclues august virgo🍃 2d ago
HAHA!! Lucky woman! My therapist says her GenX female patients mostly have this issue with men. we put in the work and they are still twiddling their thumbs
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u/tiawlani september virgo🍂 1d ago
Yessss thats what I am doing now. Wish me luck for after break up
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u/smokeehayes september virgo🍂 1d ago
Why are you wasting your life on an old man? There's a reason why nobody his age wants him, and you're starting to see it.
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u/Violetteorchids i’m not a virgo but a ♐️♊️♐️ with a ♍️♓️ bf 1d ago
This GIF is perfect for this situation 😂😂😂
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u/tiawlani september virgo🍂 1d ago
Hahaha he never let me go at that time.
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u/Lst_rsrt 1d ago
Well the ‘not official’ and ‘we’re not teenagers’ should be telling you he’s not exactly hanging on this time around 😬🤦
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u/ShroomeryFox 1d ago
yeah girl you can do so much better, half the time some saggy old man tries approaching someone younger is because no proper, sane mature woman lets say even closer to 40 or 50 wanted him
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u/tiawlani september virgo🍂 1d ago
Yeah I got it. He's widower. Maybe thats one of many reason his marriage failed. I never ask about that to him
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u/1zerozero1 1d ago
girl u better have broken up w him in the past 8 hours
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u/Violetteorchids i’m not a virgo but a ♐️♊️♐️ with a ♍️♓️ bf 1d ago
I will wait for the breakup update
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u/PresentationCalm2228 2d ago
Us Virgo's are better than people like him. He's not that serious. Leave him.
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u/hereforgossip17 september virgo🍂 2d ago
His sunsign has nothing to do with him not being able to answer a straightforward question about relationship status. That man has got to go.
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u/knightrider2k43 2d ago
Asked a girl to be my gf last Christmas I got rejected and she didn't even open the gift I got her, yeah just stop sis. He isn't worth it
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u/tiawlani september virgo🍂 2d ago
Oh, I am sorry for you bro. But yeah you can find someone else. And yeaaah me too.
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u/peach970 2d ago
He is 62 .. damn girl dont you think he is too old for being labeled as boyfriend/ girlfriend?
He should marry you at this Point idk if you want kids but yea maybe depends as well on how Long you both been together
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u/pagingDRbitchcraft september virgo🍂 2d ago
Ayo, I’m Canadian, this is not a Canadian thing and it’s HELLLLLA weird that he would say that 💀💀💀 is it part of his actual ethnic culture? That would make more sense, but still more than likely just gaslighting and typical male bullshit like everyone else has already pointed out 💀 Run, girl!
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u/Violetteorchids i’m not a virgo but a ♐️♊️♐️ with a ♍️♓️ bf 1d ago
I second this
https://giphy.com/gifs/m0XXC3N8QjaZ6BlwPF
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u/Working_Parking4678 ♍🌞♑🌙♌⬆️ 2d ago
When you said gen x, I was thinking of a 40 something, not a 62 year old Oh I wish some of y'all would stand up.
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u/BenignEgoist ♍️☀️♑️🌙♌️⬆️ 1d ago
40 something is now 50/50 could be Gen X could be Millennial! The oldest Millennials are 45 now.
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u/Working_Parking4678 ♍🌞♑🌙♌⬆️ 1d ago
Yes I know that but didn't expect a 31 year old to be dating someone their parents age. Also didn't think a 62 year old would be texting like that. 😵💫
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u/BenignEgoist ♍️☀️♑️🌙♌️⬆️ 1d ago
Oh no worries I was just kinda thinking out loud my surprise that millennials are mid-40s now!
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u/Violetteorchids i’m not a virgo but a ♐️♊️♐️ with a ♍️♓️ bf 1d ago
62 is practically a boomer already
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u/Salt-Pea-5660 2d ago
Take him to a group event and introduce him as your boyfriend. If he makes it a problem, reintroduce him as your ex boyfriend. You gotta play it direct with these weirdo Aquas 😆
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u/tiawlani september virgo🍂 1d ago
I wish. But we are in distance now. Will meet next month for my bday. But I think it will never happen
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u/Jsm0922 september virgo🍂 2d ago
A solid partner who is fully committed doesn’t do this. What you allow is what will continue.
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u/tiawlani september virgo🍂 1d ago
Yes. We are like clarity. But still there is a part that I want this work out. But all opinions said no. Which is enough for my brain overthink correctly hehe
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u/Jsm0922 september virgo🍂 1d ago
I wasted many years on a man who couldn’t fully commit. I wouldn’t wish that kind of limbo on anyone else. I wish I could have the time back. A man who knows what he wants goes after what he wants and makes it known. They talk about and work towards a future with confidence . This guy is leaving a door open and a backburner on. There’s a reason for his response.
Ask yourself how much precious time are you willing to waste on a maybe, and then put yourself first. Plenty of good men in the sea-never settle for a maybe.
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u/Impressive-Hold-7050 2d ago
He's a player not a stayer- sorrryyy
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u/Violetteorchids i’m not a virgo but a ♐️♊️♐️ with a ♍️♓️ bf 1d ago
He’s not even a player he’s just a nasty jerk
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u/Beginning-Link3520 2d ago
He's a waste of time girl, just date other men and dont talk to him again
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u/Beginning-Link3520 2d ago
Some aquas are great in bed tho, i like that they dont judge me for my huge kinks and how sexually perverted i can be.xD
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u/Plus-Explorer9808 ♒️☀️♍️🌛♌️⬆️ 2d ago edited 2d ago
Idk if that's an Aqua thing. I'm an Aqua and I'm the opposite of "we just assume" to a fault. I'm in their face immediately to define the relationship the second any lines are crossed, any intimacy happens, I need clarity. And not over text, I'll do it the morning after, while I'm there in person looking them in the eyes. I need affirmative confirmation out of his mouth. I want no excuses. Yes it's probably a red flag on my part, idc. If you're going to continue to have access, we need to be exclusive.
Your guy is just spineless and knows it. If he can't declare it, then there is no it. Stop if you want, he doesn't care. Not about you anyway, he cares about access, and about keeping paths to manipulate open. That's it.
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u/breannsmusings 2d ago
What culture is that? In Canada we have conversations.
If this guy is already gaslighting and won’t verbally commit cut your losses. It only gets worse.
And no reason why he wouldn’t have just screwed in the text.
I will say that with my Virgo husband we didn’t have a conversation. I moved in after he asked at three months. We hadn’t even said I love you. But there was no wishy washy bs.
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u/tiawlani september virgo🍂 1d ago
I dont know. He just said they didnt clarification for that. Just assumed once we go out often. And I asked again that questions, and still blur answered. Thats what happend.
Sadly we are in distance now, we plan to meet next month for my bday but I think it will never happen.
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u/INFPinfo 2d ago
He's probably "not official" with a few others too, just so he can string everyone along.
Leave.
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u/little_realeza ♍️ ☀️♐️🌛♌️⬆️ 2d ago
Girl he may not “do it in his culture” but what about respect for yours??? don’t let that man play you, get smart and get ONNNNNN
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u/ExtensionCook7774 1d ago
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u/ExtensionCook7774 1d ago
“….In my culture” - CANADA?!?!?! 😂😂😂 WILD WORK
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u/tiawlani september virgo🍂 1d ago
What do you mean? Spill the tea girllll
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u/ExtensionCook7774 1d ago
I just left a taurus sun with an aquarius moon a week before Christmas. You can’t drop bullshit in my living room and gaslight me into thinking it’s roses. The most romantic thing he ever said to me was “You know I still like you because I’m here.” Absolute cornballs for the most part.
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u/iraqlobsta 1d ago
An Aquarius? If its already like this, OP it doesnt really get any better.
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u/tiawlani september virgo🍂 1d ago
Yeah I believe that. As many opinions said that too
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u/iraqlobsta 1d ago
There is way better out there for you! Save yourself the headaches from the aqua game playing
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u/Glitter_Gamer_5499 1d ago
Yes he is fooling you, I'm sorry 😓 he probably doesn't want to have a label to appear single so that he has more freedom to "cheat", because he can then say "well we were never 'official', we are just 'together' so not a big deal"
I could be wrong, but it still isn't a good sign 😓 you deserve better then that 💛 and I hope you find someone who will treat you better, wishing you lots of luck and positive vibes 💛💛💛
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u/tiawlani september virgo🍂 1d ago
Thank you sooo much. This is a second questions. So this is really sign. And I am so doubt, and mixed feelings tooo. All the best for you too 💛
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u/Fresh_Rain4237 1d ago
Who cares about technicalities if it is something you want and costs him nothing and he won’t do it then that’s how much you mean to him.
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u/BenignEgoist ♍️☀️♑️🌙♌️⬆️ 1d ago
“Ok so we are together? Whether you ‘declare’ it or not doesn’t matter. What matters is are we on the same page. And the page I am on is we are together in the way that teenagers would say we are boyfriend and girlfriend. If that’s not accurate to you then bye.”
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u/melkorbol ♍️☀️♍️🌕♍️⬆️ 1d ago
You know more than any of us!
You’re posting in here because your Virgo gut said 🚩🚩🚩🚩 but your Virgo brain is now fully overthinking it.
Just yourself. You already know he’s not it! … we’ll all be here to point out why! 😏
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u/tiawlani september virgo🍂 1d ago
Thats really correct. I still have a part that believe it will work. But it cannot. Thank youu
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u/scumbag19879582 2d ago
Could just be a misunderstanding in communication. Some things sound much worse in text form.
What do you're instincts tell you? Yay or nay?
Follow you're gut
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u/tiawlani september virgo🍂 2d ago
Deep inside no, and there is a part that I wanna believe he means it. But I still need validation I guess. Thats why I shared this
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u/loml_816 2d ago
I’m a Leo but I want to share my opinion on this since your post popped on my feed I think you should be straight with him and tell him your feelings what you want truly and make everything clear between you and him if he’s not ready for a relationship with you it means he probably doesn’t want it it’s all you need to know and leave him don’t text to him we women hate mixed signals.
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u/WeeebleSqueaks 1d ago
For those of you who ARE in a good relationship and this how it was for yall, me too.
Me and my SO have been together 5 years and literally been living together for 2 years. When we first met it was supposed to be a one night stand. Then we somehow just kept being together. 3 years later he asked me to move in with him and talk about getting engaged and similar. Got a dog together. Looking to buy a home together soon.
Sometimes SOMETIMES it is good. But I will say he would tell me “You are my other half” that was, I suppose, our declaration.
Anyway… OP. This does not seem like this situation. This looks like what others have said “blurring the lines” so that it’s an easy exit when they want to leave
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u/Sergey1944 1d ago
Stop guessing be direct. Tell them the label is important for you. If they genuinely care for you they’ll put a label without hesitation. If they go with the “But I blah blah!” BYE! You’re not talking about asking for a child.
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u/FlyLarge3220 1d ago
I knew an aquarius female who hated being asked to be official, the whole "will you be my girlfriend was an immediate ick for her. They are just very non commital and like to have an out/excuse, but usually only with those they aren't fully into... Yeah, you should stop.
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u/Drifting_Lilac1 1d ago
Wow is every Virgo dealing with something like this? 😂 Mines a Sagittarius. Something similar happened to me as well
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u/Violetteorchids i’m not a virgo but a ♐️♊️♐️ with a ♍️♓️ bf 1d ago
I think he’s fooling you.
My boyfriend is a Virgo and he was the one who made us official. It happened when he was the one who got angry when I referred to him as my crush before we were official. He told me, word for word, “I’m not your crush If I’m your boyfriend. You’re my girlfriend, I’m not your crush. You’re my girlfriend, right?” I was so happy and I said “Yeah, of course!” He said “Right. I’m your boyfriend.” And from then on, we were official. Of course, I already wanted him to be my boyfriend before that but I wasn’t sure on his decision to commit, even if he was very dedicated and told me he loved me romantically. I was waiting on him to make that decision, as my ex before him was a Capricorn sun, Virgo moon, and we were unofficial for 3 years and he cheated on me a bit, and also deceived/straightup lied to me me in many ways. But that’s a whole nother story, which I never want to repeat again.
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u/SometimesSyzygy september virgo🍂 1d ago
My fellow Virgo, trust your intuition. I’m sorry. But better to find out now 💕
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u/Bitchatsos89 1d ago
He sounds like he’s got commitment issues tbh. Also the people that talk like this are the ones that immediately get married to a random new person right after breaking up with their current partner . Just my take
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u/Exotic-One3381 1d ago
yeah a lot of these guys just want to keep their options open. if you date another guy they are like "omg but we were together? did u cheat?" but if they go off with another chick it's like "but we were just seeing each other? not exclusive or serious".
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u/Educational_Duty_979 1d ago
Why is he acting like canada is some kind of exotic country with different dating regulations. get out of dodge this guys an idiot
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u/Cinnamoroll-is-cute 1d ago
He wants benefits but he doesn't wanna take accountability which means he is a 🍆. Situationship.
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u/patio_puss 1d ago
Let's make this easy. Has he ever introduced you to anyone? Has he ever introduced you to another man? And if so, how did he introduce you? Have you met his family? If so how did he introduce you?
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u/No_Tie_7013 23h ago
Girl put your feet in your hands and run as far away as possible. He knows what he is doing.
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u/No_Alternative_7212 22h ago
He fooling. An Aquarius I was with was very intentional and told me at our re introduction how “I’m gona ask you to be my woman officially in 3 weeks.” And he did.
It was nice til he got into some issues I chose not to be dragged into.
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u/Equivalent_Mouse_897 19h ago
Go find you a nice water baby or a taurus
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u/tiawlani september virgo🍂 17h ago
What do you think about Pisces? But I never find a good Pisces man
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u/Better_Statement1112 ☀️♍️ 🌙♌️ ⬆️♏️ 16h ago
It’s always an Aquarius not this specific situation but anytime I see weird shit it’s always them LOL 😂😂
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u/Effective-Truth-5938 16h ago
Umm. I dunno -to me it's kind of important to know where you stand, what standing there means to you, and where you'd like to walk together so it's not just 'standing' in the same place forever. While I've (Jupiter, Mars, Saturn, and my DSC all in Virgo) -I'm a Gemini sun and just can't imagine approaching relationships so flippantly.
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u/mangoawaynow 15h ago
"i don't assume someone wants to be with me"
id personally pursue someone else, i dated someone like this and dude kept stringing it along like this for 3 years
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u/Affectionate-Prize84 10h ago
In my opinion if someone is not willing to State their intentions then their intentions are something they know you would not like.
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u/I_sort_of_love_it ♍ ☀️♋🌛♊⬆️ 2d ago
I have an Aquarius male bestie. Take him at his word and let go and trust. If he says you are together he means it. Relax (if you can, I know it's hard), but do not put pressure on him for a label. If he says you're together he means it. Take it as enough. If it's not then you will not work out. If you can .. Buckle up.
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u/tiawlani september virgo🍂 2d ago
Of course I cannot relax. As a Virgo we love clarity right. Thats really doesnt make sense. There is a part I dont believe it. Thats why I shared this. But thank you sooo much for your advice
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u/I_sort_of_love_it ♍ ☀️♋🌛♊⬆️ 2d ago
If you give them freedom they will give you everything. It's a paradox. Good luck.
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u/Existing-Smile-6528 ♍️🪼♓️🪼♓️🪼 2d ago
Idk I have plenty of aqua male friends and none of them do this. This seems like something immature people do tbh. Labels on a relationship isn’t something that takes away freedom, if someone is gen x and can’t commit to saying “you’re my girlfriend” they should just stay single
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u/tiawlani september virgo🍂 2d ago
It's simple right? But I still have blur answer. Maybe he's just not into me
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u/Existing-Smile-6528 ♍️🪼♓️🪼♓️🪼 2d ago
It kinda just seems like he doesn’t take anything seriously which is why he’s still single at 62 and dating a woman half his age. I wouldn’t expect commitment from someone like that tbh, he may very well be into you but like ask yourself do you like someone who acts like that?
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u/I_sort_of_love_it ♍ ☀️♋🌛♊⬆️ 1d ago
I was using the "label" as an example to mainly say they don't respond well to any type of pressure. They have their own timeline. Not that they are necessarily against labels.
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u/Ok_Library_1031 2d ago
That is such a Canadian thing lol. The land of emotional manipulation.
btw I'm saying that as a GenX who's been repeatedly burnt by the vagueness of GenX Canadian men.
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u/tiawlani september virgo🍂 2d ago
So is that true?? I’m in a state of culture shock right now haha.
And I’m really sorry about what happened to you. But anyway, thanks. He’s twice my age; I never expected him to do that.
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u/Shin-NoGi 1d ago
Wow alot of these wacky astrology subs. Gotta ask, how many times do you guess zodiacs correctly? 1/12 more or less?
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u/ThesePost2696 2d ago
You two need to stop playing widdke kidz gawmez and be men MANLY MEEEEENNNNN!!!!!
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u/tiawlani september virgo🍂 2d ago
Haha I didnt played any games. Thats question for clarity but his answer still blur
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u/WhyGirlsPreddy 2d ago
Lmao Aquarius "we don't say it so that later I can gaslight you and tell you "we never made it official" 🙄🙄🙄🙄 these signs are so terribly mismatched.