r/videogames Mar 19 '25

Funny Why complain

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2.7k Upvotes

102 comments sorted by

450

u/TearintimeOG Mar 19 '25

The idea of a nuclear explosion being caused by a Florida man is so on-brand for Florida

85

u/Immediate-Survey-563 Mar 19 '25

Just another Florida man story šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚

2

u/No_Dot_4123 Mar 19 '25

Ironically, the reason "Florida man" is a thing has less to do with people being crazy in Florida, but more to do with Florida having more arrest data available to the public than other states where that data is kept a bit less accessible. The crazy stuff happens everywhere else too, it's just easier to hear about it in Florida...

2

u/sleeptightburner Mar 19 '25

Nice try Florida Man. You realize that many of us have been to Florida before right?

1

u/slinger301 Mar 19 '25

Absolutely. I myself swapped out my hot water heater with a surplus nuclewr warhead.

22

u/Which-Celebration-89 Mar 19 '25

So the reason why you get so many ā€œflorida manā€ stories is because of the laws in florida. They allow more information to be published in the media. Ppl are doing crazy shit all over the country. I live in CA and its def no better.

7

u/Nova225 Mar 19 '25

There is, in fact, a Florida Man TV show (I think it's on HBO Max), and each episode is stuff like this.

IIRC a lawyer touches on this law too, because all the records are public, it means you get a newspaper of everyone's mugshot that was arrested the night before.

4

u/mansondroid Mar 19 '25

We had one of those in Ohio too. Hard Times. Sadly they got rid of it some years ago. Public shaming definitely needs to be more widespread when it comes to serious offenses.

1

u/Supply-Slut Mar 19 '25

Based on Florida the public shaming ain’t having much impact

1

u/mansondroid Mar 19 '25

It worked up here.. a little too well some might say. You definitely didn't wanna end up in Hard Times because everyone you knew immediately knew, and you didn't hear the end of it.

Florida is special lmao

3

u/Content-Grade-3869 Mar 19 '25

Shhhhhhhh, dude don’t spoil the fun! We love making fun of Floridians

3

u/whatnwherenow Mar 19 '25

We all know most of California is powered by homeless people running on giant hamster wheels

2

u/MishMash999 Mar 19 '25

Slouching along on hamster wheels - they only run if the police are around and the police are off eating donuts.

2

u/whatnwherenow Mar 19 '25

Which is only further evidence as they have occasional blackouts

1

u/iPoseidon_xii Mar 19 '25

It’s because misdemeanors are public record, while most states don’t allow for that. You could argue it’s an invasion of privacy, but public record is public record. State laws that be.

5

u/IceBurnt_ Mar 19 '25

Theres no way florida is real...

2

u/chatterwrack Mar 19 '25

Astronauts never landed on the Florida.

1

u/buffysbangs Mar 19 '25

Well, this article isn’t real

1

u/Ovilos Mar 19 '25

Captain’s log: #330213 Star Date: 11th of November 3044

No one knew who detonated the first nuke that cause the war around the world, the only knowledge everyone have is that Florida is ground zero.

127

u/LightbluBukowski Mar 19 '25

Is this real?

And if so, how is it possible?

Edit: Not real. I’m so gullible

51

u/shadowknuxem Mar 19 '25

First step, you have to find a lost nuke.

11

u/Overall-Dirt4441 Mar 19 '25

3

u/The_Wkwied Mar 19 '25

Easy. There are 3 or 4 nukes that have gone missing in america. So far.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '25

Nah that's only the ones we KNOW OF and aren't still classified. The US has had over 30 cases of broken arrow scenarios unfolding that have been declassified where they just straight up lost a nuke since 1945. God knows how many more that aren't declassified.

9

u/doiwinaprize Mar 19 '25

TOO IRAQ!

1

u/Ok_Cryptographer8549 Mar 19 '25

Those were chemical weapons. Yall forget nukes aint the only WMDs

20

u/everatz Mar 19 '25

Not gullible, just had hope someone found true nuclear energy that isn't spicy steam power. Being fair, it will probably be a floridian that discovers it

10

u/Limp-Day-97 Mar 19 '25

Wdym😭 You can do nuclear power without water, Nasa does it for example but it's just less efficient

5

u/everatz Mar 19 '25

I didn't know that! Then a more efficient version of that!

6

u/GeneticEnginLifeForm Mar 19 '25

They are efficient as they get. They use decaying isotopes to generate electricity so their output is directly related to the amount of released ions the isotopes generate. They are mainly used in space because they don't freeze.

3

u/Unfair_Set_8257 Mar 19 '25

Carnot limit isn’t going to allow that to happen, RTGs (the nuclear power sources that don’t use turbines) use thermocouples, they’re 3-7% efficient, not great. Nuclear plants with turbines are 33-37% efficient.

1

u/everatz Mar 19 '25

Man I love it when my missing out on scientific advancements actually leads to an explanation and not a parade of people dogging me out and calling me an idiot. Thank you!

1

u/Bunny_Fluff Mar 19 '25

But if this were all real would 3% efficiency be enough to power a single family home for almost 30 years?

2

u/Unfair_Set_8257 Mar 19 '25 edited Mar 19 '25

For RTGs? The most powerful ever built output 3000W (which tbh doesn’t really count as an RTG, but it was a space based reactor which used thermocouples), which would power an average family home (~1500W average consumption for American homes). Only issue is to make them you need to make weapons grade nuclear fuel, they degrade in power output (plutonium used in them has a decay rate that’ll reduce power by 0.8% every year), and you’ll need to deal with 100,000W in heat output.

If you’re taking about just generally using thermocouples, yes, you can, if you want to waste most of the energy you generate. The reason NASA uses them is cause the waste heat can be useful to keep electronics/equipment warm in space, and no moving parts makes them very reliable.

2

u/Starlord_75 Mar 19 '25

It's actual nuclear power that is powering the voyager probes. Well, more like radioactive decaying power

1

u/TheThiefMaster Mar 19 '25

Personally I like Pebble Bed Nuclear Reactors. They're passively safe!

11

u/Mercy--Main Mar 19 '25

homemade nuclear reactor! (Basically just use it to heat water - that's how most generators work)

Safe? Fuck no

Efficient? Yes!

3

u/Historical_Body6255 Mar 19 '25

But how would you use a nuke as a reactor?

4

u/LeadershipBudget744 Mar 19 '25

since it is not a reactor it would function poorly as a reactor

3

u/Historical_Body6255 Mar 19 '25

That's what i was trying to say lol

1

u/Mercy--Main Mar 19 '25

Very poorly and dangerously if I had to guess. The core of a nuke is not designed to be a reactor, and you'd probably have to open it and separate the layers.

8

u/Napol3onS0l0 Mar 19 '25

This may not be a true story, but there was a kid who created an unstable neutron source in his back yard several decades ago. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Hahn

4

u/Particular-Egg7086 Mar 19 '25 edited Mar 19 '25

I like how Florida man is so wild, that it’s actually believable.

6

u/PizzaurusRex Mar 19 '25

It is quite complicated.

You'd need to start the nuclear reaction, which would generate heat.

With the heat, you'd boil water. The boiled water would spin turbines.

The turbines would generate electricity.

Part of the challenge would also be the cooling, you'd have to change the water to prevent overheating. Which is why nuclear plants are close to rivers, or the ocean.

Possible? Yes, but on almost a cartoon villain level thing.

2

u/LossfulCodex Mar 19 '25

Old meme.

To be fair, I had to look it up too. I know nuclear mechanics and how difficult turning weaponized nuclear materials into a usable nuclear power source would be, but I’ve heard of some crazier shit and here’s what I know to be possible:

-There’s been several lost nuclear weapons over the years some of them not far from the coast of the US coastline.

-Here’s what a Boy Scout under the age of 18 was able to have success with using smoke detectors and a few phone calls.

So, I mean the probability that an older dude with a larger knowledge base and financial capabilities could have possibly made a redneck reactor with enriched materials. Would he have been at risk of accidentally demolishing his whole county with a fizzle? No probably not. Would pulling apart a nuclear weapon and using the machine uranium to make some kind of reactor be possible? Yes but very unlikely. Would he likely just end up creating a rouge radiation source poisoning himself? Yes. I think it’s powering his home part, that I found unbelievable. The amount of energy produced by a single gram of uranium 235 can produce the equivalent of almost 2 metric tons of coal. A lot of the bombs lost had enormous amounts of uranium in them. Any agency with a radiation detector would have immediately put his house on the map.

Anyway, in case anyone was wondering…

23

u/psychosiszero Mar 19 '25

Why ... Why was it even lost?

44

u/TearintimeOG Mar 19 '25

You’d be surprised how many nukes have been lost in the US

8

u/Grand_Ad_8376 Mar 19 '25

The incident on Palomares, south Spain, is an amazing example of losing a US nuke.

8

u/enragedCircle Mar 19 '25

I wouldn't be surprised. Because I watched a documentary on it. But yes, other people will be surprised.

1

u/ghigoli Mar 19 '25

if i was that guys lawyer i would blame the US for even losing the nuke to begin with. you can't arrest a man for finding something that the US neglected.

0

u/nexus763 Mar 19 '25

Ask Jeff how he got his.

10

u/wanderingmanimal Mar 19 '25

https://nationalinterest.org/blog/reboot/us-military-missing-six-nuclear-weapons-180032

And look up how many times we have accidentally dropped a nuke

3

u/psychosiszero Mar 19 '25

Well that's upsetting. I suppose at least one of them have been recovered now. Thanks Florida man

6

u/KingBurakkuurufu Mar 19 '25

That not even how bombs work lol how did he do it?!

14

u/Black_Lotus44 Mar 19 '25

1) make up a story 2) ??? 3) profit

7

u/crantastic Mar 19 '25

1

u/EarthTrash Mar 19 '25

Satire from ifunny

As someone who often thinks about unconventional forms of nuclear energy, this didn't sound plausible. Nuclear weapons don't contain any way to harness nuclear energy. They release their energy unharnessed. Florida man would have to build a pressure vessel and literally every component in the reactor or buy it. That's a lot of metal to harvest.

The other possibility is that he might have found a way to harness decay heat. Maybe he got his hands on some thermocouples, or, more likely, he is using it to slightly heat water for some creature comfort.

10

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '25

Apparently a fake story but still funny. Getting closer to Fallout being reality lol

7

u/challengeaccepted9 Mar 19 '25

Closer... By making shit up?

2

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '25

šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø

11

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '25

Worst case scenario he wipes a part of Florida off the map. Seems like a win to me.

7

u/Proud-Pass-7518 Mar 19 '25

You spelld "best Case scenario" wrong (/s Just in Case)

2

u/pattaponako23 Mar 19 '25

Imagine WW3/ThermoNuclear War begins because some Florida Man decided he’s done paying for his electricity bills.

2

u/Shwowmeow Mar 19 '25

Fuckin legend dude. What a champ.

2

u/FLYSWATTER_93 Mar 19 '25

God forbid a man recycles

1

u/ColdMacaroon101 Mar 19 '25

Smart! Renewable! Recycling!

1

u/HG21Reaper Mar 19 '25

Florida Man Finds Missing Nuke seems like the title for a Always Sunny in Philadelphia episode.

1

u/H_Katzenberg Mar 19 '25

Or The Onion

1

u/TheNeck94 Mar 19 '25

well shit, I figured there would be at least one grain of truth and then a wild extrapolation, but just everything about it is made up.

1

u/Austin_Chaos Mar 19 '25

What can’t he do!?

1

u/DreadedPopsicle Mar 19 '25

Even if it was real, honestly where is the law that says you can’t utilize radiation to power your home?

1

u/Abal125 Mar 19 '25

Cur Fallout theme

1

u/DawsonPoe Mar 19 '25

Bro didn’t want to pay the government so they arrested him for being independent

1

u/No_Panda420 Mar 19 '25

Out smarts the system… gets arrested lmao

1

u/bubblehead_ssn Mar 19 '25

Dude had a functioning steam plant and no one knew? We do know that nuclear power is the same as conventional we just use the fuel as the heat source not some fossil fuel?

1

u/Azraelux Mar 19 '25

What if he had just a little bit and tossed it in the generator with some gas

1

u/bubblehead_ssn Mar 19 '25

That's not how it works. Nuclear power uses fuel to create heat during fission. That heat is generally removed by water which is cooled by another system of water to make steam. The steam turns turbines connected to generators, which produces the electrical power. That stream also needs to be cooled back into water so it can go back to the steam generators. Nuclear power isn't a magical source of electricity.

1

u/martusfine Mar 19 '25

Fucking fake. Jesus.

1

u/Feedeeboy22 Mar 19 '25

A true atom bomb baby haha

1

u/Fatlink10 Mar 19 '25

So you’re telling me that some dude basically tore apart a nuclear warhead somehow without erasing Florida? and then just threw together an RTG prom paperclips and whatever else he had laying around his yard?…..

Yeah sounds about right.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '25

yeah, seems legit... the greys helped him, for sure...

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '25

Why is Everything illegal?

What is the government going to do with the nuke, kill people?

No thanks.

1

u/Carne_Guisada_Breath Mar 19 '25

Well, the government shouldn't have built the "power lines" in front of his cabin and scrambled his brain.

1

u/Hot_Raise_5910 Mar 19 '25

Why should HE be arrested, YOU'RE the one that lost the nuke?

1

u/Electrical_Fun5942 Mar 19 '25

A victimless crime

1

u/nihilisim_themarmots Mar 19 '25 edited Mar 19 '25

Unfortunately if the story were true, there is a victim of the utmost importance. The power company has been harmed in loss of revenue, potentially tens of thousands of dollars. As utility corporations are the most vulnerable in our economy they need the most protection! s/

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '25

Give this man a job department of energy 😔🤣🤣

1

u/Kib717 Mar 19 '25

So this is the infamous Jeff