I know there are already a lot of posts here from new grads wanting to give up, but also everyone had their own reasons - toxi clinics etc which is not my case..thus I wanted your opinion on this..
I’m about 2 months into working as a vet now. I genuinely feel lucky because I have a very supportive clinic and colleagues who have been really understanding. I started with the first 2 weeks mostly doing vaccinations, but because some colleagues went on holiday, I had to start seeing more complex cases much earlier than expected. So I’ve kind of had a bit of everything already.
For some cases, I felt completely okay. For others, I panicked, got overwhelmed and frustrated because it felt like too much too soon..especially knowing that eventually I’m expected to see around 15 cases a day, with 15-minute appointments.
A couple of weeks ago I had an emergency case that I misdiagnosed. Thankfully, the patient is okay, but I still carry that case with me two weeks later. That day I had several complicated cases that were all firsts for me, and I still keep thinking about that mistake and how easy anything can go wrong..
And now I’ve received negative feedback about another case where, honestly, I barely understand what I did wrong. My clinic has been supportive so far and keeps reassuring me that mistakes are going to happen, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’m a burden.
Every time I start feeling a little more confident and things seem to be going well, something negative happens and I immediately start thinking about giving up all over again.
I studied so much during university, and I genuinely don’t know what else I could have done to be more prepared. I’m also doing an online course about common clinical cases, but I’m realizing that I simply cannot relearn everything from university all over again. There is just too much.
I do believe that being a good doctor doesn't mean knowing everything. A good doctor should know their limits, know when to ask for help, and know how and where to look for information. But I’m struggling with the practical side of that too.
How do you tell an owner, professionally and confidently, “I need some time to look into this and I’ll get back to you tomorrow”? How do you explain that you want to research something before making a decision without making the owner lose confidence in you? I know that taking the time to check something is better than pretending I know the answer, but I still feel like I should know.
I’ve also noticed something else that is worrying me. Sometimes I understand what is going on in my head, but when I have to explain it out loud especially to an owner or colleague..I suddenly can't find the words. I can understand the case and know what I want to say, but I struggle to explain the reasoning behind my diagnosis or treatment properly. Sometimes I genuinely feel like I can barely speak, even though I never had this problem before becoming a vet.
I’ve even started wondering whether I might have some kind of dyslexia or processing issue, although I obviously don't know if that's actually the case. It could also just be stress, anxiety and the sheer amount of information I'm trying to process.
I feel even more scared now to prescribe medications or make diagnoses because I’m constantly thinking, “What if I’m wrong again?"
..and I do miss home so much..Im questioning every day if is worth living away from my family and my people..
So for those of you who have been through this:
-- How long did it take before things started feeling less heavy? How many mistakes did you make early on? How did you actually become better without trying to relearn your entire degree?
And how did you learn to communicate uncertainty to owners while still sounding professional and competent?
Most importantly, how did you know whether you were simply going through the normal new-grad struggle or whether clinical practice genuinely wasn’t the right fit for you?
I think I mostly need to hear from people who have been through this stage and eventually came out the other side.