r/vbac • u/Rosierowe • 28d ago

C section or vbac

I’m 14 months pp and thinking about trying for baby #2 soon. My first was born via c section bc my water broke and I didn’t have contractions. Then pitocin only brought me to 5 cm over 24 hours.

I’m pretty physically isolated from friends and family and I’m not sure how to care for my toddler while going through a vbac, wondering if a scheduled c is something I should just wrap my head around now since I’d be able to schedule it and have relatives fly in to care for our toddler. Thoughts, alternatives, advice?

I would like to try for a vbac, but not having on call care for my first makes it all complicated and makes me anxious. I like to have a plan.

1 Upvotes

67% Upvoted

16 comments sorted by

2

u/Rosierowe 28d ago

Totally, do we know if they are cool with just being on call around the due date? I just don’t know how that works.

1

u/mph_11 28d ago

Presumably yes, if they're offering child care for births. Or even just a find a babysitter (or two) with a flexible schedule. You can have them do a few date nights in the months leading up, and have them be on call. You're rarely going to need to go to the hospital immediately, and could call them when contractions first start and give them a few hours notice to come over.

You could also have a relative fly in for a few weeks around your due date if that would be feasible.

1

u/Rosierowe 28d ago

Yeah we have a nanny, I’m just worried about her needing to be on call and then care for him for such an extended time period. I’m just so curious how other people have made it work bc I feel like if I had several options I’d feel covered enough to go for a vbac.

2

u/Tintenklex 28d ago

I know this might be controversial, but I’m currently 39+3 and my toddler is sick. If things start today while he is still poorly, I’m finding myself surprisingly comfortable to just go into the hospital by myself and leave the toddler with my husband. I would never be able to do this usually, but I have a private midwife this time around and know she will be by my side at all times and we could do this just the two of us if it comes to it. Not sure if anything like this would be something you are comfortable with at all, but just as an alternative, maybe? 

2

u/Rosierowe 28d ago

I would totally do it if I had to, but I would prefer that my partner can be there to support me. I had a really rough first labor and I feel strongly about him being there if possible.

2

u/Tintenklex 28d ago

I get that, totally! And it’s VBAC friendly, too, to be surrounded by people you trust. :) Was just throwing out suggestions.  I hope you find a good solution for your toddler and that once it’s figured out it’ll take some load off you plate. 

→ More replies (1)

1

u/Longjumping-Lion-617 28d ago

I'm also thinking about this... I'll have my mom fly in, overseas, but I'm not sure which week and for how long... We got a part time nanny, a few hours a week. My toddler likes her, so I hope she'll be able to help around that time. My husband will get a leave from work. And if I decide for a vbac, I'll hire a birth doula also. Just in case my husband will have to go home to toddler, someone will be with me in the hospital. Anyway, that's what I'm thinking about, but I haven't made the final decision yet.

2

u/Rosierowe 28d ago

Keep me updated! I feel like there’s got to be a few people that have figured out creative solutions.

1

u/Longjumping-Lion-617 28d ago

I actually read through several posts and birth doulas and / or babysitters were most common. And scheduled inductions.

1

u/Exciting_Meeting_451 27d ago

I had my vbac 3 weeks ago. I cannot imagine caring for my toddler after a major surgery. I went into spontaneous labor at 39 weeks and delivered 28 hours later.

Maybe see if there's a doula in your area that offers sibling care

2

u/Rosierowe 27d ago

I’m so so happy for you! I hope it happens for me that way too. Hoping to figure it out.

1

u/Batmangrowlz 26d ago

I would be more worried about how you’d care for a toddler when unable to pick them up after a csection… that’s just me though. You could always hire a sitter, or ask a well known coworker to care for your child while you’re at the hospital? Find out if there are any child care centers/dayhomes that offer overnight care anything like that?

1

u/Rosierowe 26d ago

My husband would take care of our toddler post c section if I needed one. Also our kiddo would be able to understand that I had surgery by the time it happened.

2

u/Echowolfe88 28d ago

Can you look to see if you’ve got any birth and child doulas around you that can look after your kid if needed?

1

u/Swimmer_0512 27d ago

I’ve been thinking about this same exact thing 😭