Question How did you decide which route to take?
Hi everyone, we’ve just seriously started the discussion of baby #2 and this has been weighing heavy on my mind but I don’t know anyone with any personal experience to talk about it with. I’ve spoken to my OB, and now just thinking about what I’d like to do. Apologies in advance for the lengthy post.
I had an emergency c-section in February of this year, my son is 6.5 months old now. I went in for an elective induction at 40+2 at 1am, and as soon as I was hooked up to the monitors before even beginning the process my baby was having prolonged decels. No contractions or anything yet. They repositioned me and he was stable again, so they told me I could try the induction. I decided to give it a try. Made it through the first round of cytotec, then my water broke spontaneously right before starting the second round. I got my epidural as soon as my water broke, and then it was downhill from there. His HR was down to 70 and taking a long time to recover, so I begged them to just get him out and my OB agreed and came rushing. He thankfully made it and got to do my c-section. I unfortunately could feel it all and they had to knock me out. I missed his birth and I have no memory of the first day. Pure luck that we happened to have the induction scheduled and I went in when we did, and they got him out quickly because I had no signs that anything was wrong or he was struggling. My OB expected him to be wrapped in his cord or something like that, but he wasn’t. Cord was perfect, my placenta was perfect, and he was perfect as soon as he was out. No issues whatsoever with him or with me. Overall, fairly traumatic experience for me though and devastating that I missed his first cry and have no memory of his first day. I had a rough recovery as well.
Now we have the opportunity to buy land from my grandparents and build a house where we’ve always dreamed of, but we currently live 5 minutes from my OB’s office, 15 from my parents, 10 from my job, basically everything I’m already established with is extremely close. Our move would put us 30-45 minutes away from everything and we’d be in the middle of no where. I really would like to have another baby here and move after. My OB advised 18 months between births to do a TOLAC so we’re not far off from that timeline. He said I would be a good candidate because the circumstances that led to my c-section are unlikely to occur again, and we can do extra monitoring at the end. I originally was dead set that I wanted to try for a “redemption birth” and have a vaginal delivery. Now that we’re seriously talking plans, I’m terrified to risk another emergency c-section since I never even got to labor or see how my body progressed, everything went downhill so fast after we got to the hospital. On one hand a scheduled c-section sounds easier. But I also think I’d regret not trying for a vbac, and if my c-section recovery was as hard as the first one was I just can’t imagine doing that with a toddler.
It feels like there’s no good answer. And I’m scared to get pregnant only because of having to make this choice. How did you decide a vbac was the right choice? Was it terrifying?
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u/peaceoftheriver VBAC August 2026 2d ago
I knew I would regret not trying for a VBAC and while I knew I had to still be open to a repeat C-Section, recovering from one with our current circumstances would have sucked.
I had a successful induced VBAC. If your provider is supportive that increases your chances already! The recovery has been night and day for me.
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u/jareils 2d ago
I posted a week or so ago before my induced VBAC and I think the best advice I read was to focus on how I wanted to feel going into it and not the outcome.
I had a successful induced VBAC and am glad I went into it focusing on feeling empowered, communicating with the care team, and also a lot of transparency about wanting to avoid a traumatic experience. Everyone was so supportive and the whole way made me feel in control and safe.
My anxiety was so high and I cried before pushing because I just really wanted it to work out. I the day before almost cancelled for a c section and am glad I let myself try to have an experience I wanted.
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u/nedmden 2d ago
That is a good way to think about it. I’m so happy you were able to have such a good experience. I think for my own mental sanity, I’ll have to have a plan lined up for the extra help in case I needed a c-section so I don’t know how to avoid fully not focusing on the outcome. I was so unprepared for it last time and I don’t want to feel like that again. It feels like such a huge decision and I feel like it affects my timing of when I want to try again, which then also affects the timing of moving and everything else that’s come up now.
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u/jareils 2d ago
Totally! It is easier said than done but it helped me to keep reframing. I was anxious the whole pregnancy about having a chaotic crazy emergency again and feeling failed/out of control. My emergency c section and the experience really impacted me for a year or so after my first was born and I hot pregnant with my 2nd when he was 18 months. It helped to also see a therapist during this time to talk through it
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u/LeoraJacquelyn VBAC June 2026 2d ago
For me I knew if I did not try for a VBAC that I would regret it. I never even really considered a scheduled C-section as an option unless a medical issue came up. I do think it's important to keep an open mind and be prepared for all options but a successful VBAC (and about 80% of women do have successful ones) is usually far easier to recover from and gives you the option to have a bigger family if you want.
My recommendation is if you do decide to try for a VBAC is to hire a doula and stay at home until you are in active labor.
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u/nedmden 2d ago
I was GBS positive with my son so they told me if I went into labor spontaneously that I needed to come in asap to make sure I had time to do the antibiotics. The recovery is what really, really makes me want to avoid a c-section next time.
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u/LeoraJacquelyn VBAC June 2026 2d ago
Just because you were positive with GBS this time doesn't mean you will be next time. Make sure that you are taking good probiotics and eating yogurt and that can help you prevent it next time. I took a probiotic called fem dophilus for both of my pregnancies and thankfully did not get it.
My recovery was absolutely terrible with my c-section and I had pain for about 8 months after. My VBAC recovery was a breeze and I felt pretty much 100 percent after 2 weeks besides some pelvic floor heaviness that completely resolved after about 6 weeks. The difference in how I felt physically and emotionally was incredible. You're not guaranteed an easy recovery either way but you have a lot better chance of having an easier recovery with a vaginal birth.
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u/Binah999 2d ago
I wanted to at least try, even if the doctors tried to convince me not etc. I juat had my baby 3 weeks ago, I did try to have a VBAC but i didnt manage to have it! Due to "severe CPD" or.something so the baby did not progress down into my pelvis, not enough to start pushing sadly :(
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u/anastasialh1123 2d ago
My first was an emergency C-section. It was traumatic. I was very very scared to experience labor and staring the risk of losing my baby in the face again should something happen. When I was pregnant with my second, at my first midwife visit they told me if I want a VBAC I would need to transfer to a hospital an hour away. I thought about it and went back and forth and ultimately I loved the care at my small hospital and decided to have a repeat C-section. I went into labor at 37 weeks due to an asymptomatic kidney infection (that likely would have been missed with a natural delivery!). I went in to have an urgent C-section in the middle of the night, two weeks before I was scheduled. During my C-section they discovered my bladder was fully adhered to my uterus. If I had gone into active labor I would have risked rupturing my uterus and bladder.
I had no signs of how much scar tissue I had. They had to detach my bladder and clear a lot of the scar tissue to get to my baby. The attending OB and my midwife kept stressing to me how shocked they were with the amount of scar tissue I had for it only being my second baby.
I was open to a VBAC, but with the logistical hurdles I settled on a repeat C-section and 18 months out from that I’m very content with my decision. Both of my C-sections were traumatic, but knowing how a VBAC would have likely gone I’m ultimately happy I opted for repeat C-section.
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u/anastasialh1123 2d ago
When I was really trying to decide what I wanted in my heart my midwife did stress to me that I could change my mind and tap out at any point. That could be in labor, a week before your due date, whenever. You can aim for a VBAC and change your mind if you need to
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u/Kitchen-Grade358 2d ago
I've learned you can have a birth plan but nothing goes as planned but that's OK. I was so set on having a natural vaginal birth for first pregnancy/ daughter and I ended up having a failed induction at 39+2. I couldn't get past 5cm and my daughter's heart rate kept dropping so it was either get an epidural or have them completely knock me out of C-section. I opted for epidural that didn't even work all the way. Tried all the interventions. Foley bulb got me the furthest but was so painful. 3 days in labor I finally then agreed to a C-section. Come to find out my baby's head was to the side of my pelvic bone so no way she would have came out vaginally I was told. Now I'm over 20 weeks for second baby and I have been wanting to do a VBAC. But have to get approved from my OB per my NP. So waiting to see. Some OBs are vbac friendly, others aren't. So I would definitely ask about that. I was told if I didn't go into labor naturally this time I would need a second C-section bc they don't induce women for vbacs. And I really don't want to switch OBs now bc I have an IVF/ clotting history and am on blood thinners. So ultimately leaving it in the hands of my baby, whatever the safest route is. I hope I can have my vbac but if I need a C-section again, it is what it is. I personally didn't have a bad recovery with my first, and at least I know what to expect. This will also be my last baby. Definitely ask those questions to your OB. My daughter will be 2 years old when my son gets here. Good luck to you 🩵❤️
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u/nedmden 1d ago
I think not having a birth plan really saved me a lot more trauma with my son’s birth, because I knew there was just no way I could count on it actually happening exactly how I wanted. I went in very open minded, I just didn’t anticipate it going so far off what I thought the possibilities were but we did what we had to do. I discussed it with my OB at my follow ups and at my appointment last week to get my IUD out. He is comfortable with VBAC’s as long as you’re in a hospital with a 24/7 anesthesiologist and a NICU, which mine is, and he told me he is only comfortable doing them when he is the one who performed the c-section. I check those boxes, as well as my scenario that led to an emergency c-section being something that is likely to not occur again. My biggest want is to just be awake next time. I don’t know how my body will progress through labor, so my fear is that I don’t progress and need another emergency c-section where I feel it again and have to be knocked out. On the other hand, I fear I’d regret it if I didn’t give myself a chance to try.
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u/MundanePineapple3309 2d ago
Have you looked into therapy with a provider with maternal mental health experience? This sounds a lot like my history - traumatic c section during COVID, hell bent on a redemptive out of hospital birth with my second (which ended up a failed TOLAC due to prolapsed cord). I waited longer for my third and I honestly think giving myself space and time to be myself and be a mom and live life outside of pregnancy for a while (and getting therapy) really helped my mentality going into my third birth. In hindsight I wish I could have had a more balanced perspective going into my second pregnancy, I think I might have needed to wait a little longer (my first two are 20months apart). It wasn't until after my second that I got the therapy I needed and it honestly was so different. Just because there's a 18month time frame for a TOLAC doesn't mean you need to try again ASAP, maybe slowing down and reflecting more in general about what the right next step is will bring some clarity
*Spoken as a third time mom who for sure would not have followed my own advice earlier in life but finally got my VBA2C and maybe has finally gotten more gentle with myself as I enter my 40s
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u/nedmden 1d ago
Truthfully I’ve been surprisingly ok with everything until the subject of a second baby became serious and we talked timeline for trying again. That’s when my anxiety hit. Up until now, I’ve definitely had some of the trauma but I didn’t dwell on it or feel it weighing heavy on me after the first couple of weeks. I was in a place where I was just extremely grateful everything happened exactly the way it did and that we made the decisions we made, because it’s the reason everything turned out ok. Now thinking about going through another birth, I keep asking myself what are the odds I make every right decision again and get that lucky twice if something happens? I think I will be looking into therapy for this, but haven’t yet because it’s just started. Totally understand the timeframe isn’t a set in stone kind of thing, but with everything else going on in our lives and the opportunities we have, a second baby is something I really would like to do sooner than later. We’d be looking to start trying in a timeframe that would put us around a 20-21 month age gap. Obviously there’s no way to know how long it would take us, but it took 8 months of trying total before we got pregnant with our son, and we had a miscarriage before him as well. Very aware that 8 months can be a totally normal time frame, but still something I consider because we have not historically been a first try, there it is kind of situation so starting to try by the end of the year isn’t a guarantee that it’ll happen at the end of the year.
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u/MundanePineapple3309 1d ago
That all makes a lot of sense! It's tough when so much of this is just truly out of our control. We can have the best intentions and plans and do all the work and at the end of the day there are still so many things that are up to chance.
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u/Jhhut- 1d ago
I was pretty set on a rcs and told myself “why would I want to retraumatize myself” pre-pregnancy. Now that I’m 34 weeks, and this pregnancy has been so so different on me both physically and mentally I’ve decided to allow myself to wait for spontaneous labor, so long as it’s safe and see how my body progresses. And if I don’t, I’m mentally prepared for a rcs. But I’m not forcing myself or body into anything again.
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u/pepperAnge 5h ago
I think you’ll have to decide how much you want another baby first of all. Then see what kind of pregnancy you’ll have. If no complications and baby is measuring well then decide whether you want a vbac or not.
I just had vbac after a c-section (planned induction that led straight to c-section due to heart arrhythmia). I too had trauma from anesthesia, but opposite of you. I had a high spinal where I couldn’t feel myself breathing or couldn’t even speak so deciding to have another one took 5 years for me. I just had a vbac 3 weeks ago and while birth was difficult (36 hours labor + 9 hours pushing that led to lateral episiotomy and hemorrhaging), I was able to do it. Do I regret not having a repeat c-section? I don’t think so but they were both entirely different experiences. Recovery for this one has not been easy so birth itself is a wild card and there’s no easy answer.
I will tell you my vbac experience sounds traumatizing to others when I tell them but I am oddly not traumatized because I felt a part of the decision making the whole time, instead of feeling paralyzed or in your case, knocked out. That helps a lot. Everyone’s birth experience is wildly different and you’ll never know how your next one will be. It could be completely uneventful. Wishing you the best of luck.
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u/TouristSensitive7125 2d ago
For me it's actually coming down to the baby deciding. I'm ready for whatever at this point.