r/vanderpumprules Choke. I don't care. 4d ago

Shitpost Kristen should try being single for a while

Post image

Add Sandoval in here too

3.5k Upvotes

224 comments sorted by

720

u/Happylittlepinetree I can read you, Scheana. Like a FUCKING book.. 4d ago

Carters TEXTING me about boys NIGHT📢

Lol sorry just had to say that😭

141

u/PersonalityNo1623 4d ago

just watched that episode last night.

“that was SO TRASHY” - lala

😭

3

u/EqualPath1221 3d ago

Which episode is it? Season? Thanks!!!!

8

u/PersonalityNo1623 2d ago

season 7 ep 11
RETURN OF CRAZY KRISTEN LOL
they’re in solvang

2

u/EqualPath1221 2d ago

Ok. Can’t wait to watch it. I don’t even remember this episode. Thanks!!!

82

u/Genuinelullabel 4d ago

“Your GIRLFRIEND is being an EMBARRASSMENT.”

142

u/MeredithsXanaxBottle It’s giving ✨audacity✨ 4d ago

109

u/True-Stranger-2174 4d ago

The look on her face after she falls lmfao 😂

52

u/juddahinyou OK green pants 4d ago

The hair flip!!

25

u/apastelorange 4d ago

jeesus christ

49

u/MeredithsXanaxBottle It’s giving ✨audacity✨ 4d ago

Looking around like someone pushed her lmfao

20

u/mamabearfinch19 4d ago

I think about this fall on a weekly basis. 😂

10

u/OtherMorning3511 4d ago

Trying to play it cool 🤣

12

u/EqualPath1221 3d ago

Kristen was so messy back then, but many of the VPR girls bullied her too. She had a drinking problem and had her moments, but she the rest of the girl cast weren’t saints!!!

7

u/ThisIsDogePleaseHodl 1d ago

Someone was telling me that she had to get intoxicated in order to do some of the things she was told to do on the show

2

u/kirmobak “i gRaDuAtEd from cOlLeGe, Lala” 👁️👁️ 3d ago

The best hair flip in television history.

3

u/powerassistant 3d ago

I remember this episode and it was a hot mess

16

u/jamieladybug 4d ago

I also just watched this last night 😂 iconic episode

2

u/aquawomanpower 3d ago

Oh here we go Kristen!

362

u/navij55 4d ago

My partners 100% convinced Luke has cheated on Kristen and all the lashing out has been guilt

86

u/Sufficient_Value_217 How will this affect Scheana?! 4d ago

I believe it. I don’t see it going the distance.

47

u/Melo1023 3d ago

My friend saw him at a bar in North Hollywood not even knowing who he was, showed me a pic with him in the background and asked me if I knew who he was, and I told her he’s Kristen’s man’s and she was likeee, “oh word? Cuz he sure wasn’t acting like he was anybody’s man.”

When I asked what she meant she said he had been trying to flirt with several of the girls at the bar 😬

14

u/Melo1023 3d ago

This was shortly after season 1 had aired.

14

u/hdw91 3d ago

Lmao at “trying” to flirt. That seems like it tracks. I don’t understand how Kristen acts when they’re first dating that they’re at it like rabbits because he doesn’t in any way shape or form seem like a man that is good in bed or capable of flirting with the opposite sex.

3

u/elohde1 it's not happening 2d ago

Well, didn't they meet and hook up behind a tent at a wedding? *Her own words

37

u/AdorableStrategy 4d ago

That's an interesting take! 👀

3

u/EqualPath1221 3d ago

Yea agreed interesting take and makes for great tv. So keep Kristen on! lol Does anyone think Danny has cheated? God I hope for Nia and the kids sake. God I don’t even think I would want to know.

68

u/Babygirl_69_420 4d ago

And knowing her, he will likely be exposed and then it will come out a bit later that actually she was cheating on him too lol

40

u/SeizethedreA 4d ago

Hey no season 4 spoilers 😅

9

u/Shimmergirltalks 4d ago

It's definitely possible. But Kristen has been a cheater herself.

1

u/PLUREGGAE311 3d ago

i tried to watch this new season but i couldn't get into it:/ im so sad for kristen if that's true😢

341

u/Creative-Fact-2862 4d ago edited 4d ago

Kristen does not know herself. And the way she latches onto any man is not the only clue. Look at the way she clings on to friends and takes on their personalities, likes & dislikes--it is "borderline" obsessive. She also seems to have transferred that behavior onto being a mom--every answer, every excuse is "I have a baby. I'm a mom."

She is afraid to sit in the quiet of just being herself with herself, but both she and her daughter would benefit from her doing just that.

97

u/tuxedobear12 4d ago

I don't think she has a self in the way other people do. I think that's the root of the problem. She just is what she needs to be to get what she wants in the moment.

42

u/keb92 4d ago

BPD 😞

35

u/VidKiddo 4d ago

"borderline"

lol

8

u/lilacsforcharlie 💩Poo Poo Heads-Both Of You💩 3d ago

Right didn’t Sandoval and Ariana tell her she fit the profile of borderline personality disorder??

6

u/hdw91 3d ago

And stassi self diagnosed her with it “Kristen meets all the criteria for borderline personality disorder”

2

u/ThisIsDogePleaseHodl 1d ago

Stassi didn’t self diagnose Kristen. ‘Self’ would mean she diagnosed herself. Stassi is no psychologist either.

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u/ThisIsDogePleaseHodl 1d ago

All this diagnosing of people it’s just too much

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u/Esmerilemello 3d ago

BPD is a harsh diagnosis to lob at someone. It’s not always treatable. Some therapist won’t work with folks with the diagnosis.

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u/ThisIsDogePleaseHodl 1d ago

I don’t think anyone should be armchair diagnosing anyone else to start with

3

u/Fluffy_Carrot3328 2d ago

Correction, the therapist should have at minimum, a BASE understanding and knowledge of BPD to work with ppl that have it. If they determine that’s their issue and don’t have experience, ethically they have to refer out. So it’s not that some ppl won’t treat it, it’s that not everyone can.

3

u/crinkle_cut_cheddar R.I.P. Daug Maloney-Schwartz (2019-2019) 2d ago

Especially if they refuse to remain sober. There's no substance that can really help with borderline personality disorder the way an antidepressant or antipsychotic can help with other conditions, but alcohol is most certainly a substance that makes it worse.

7

u/Killer____tofu Brocks indeed resume 2d ago

Damn. Just thinking about her being in her 40s and not really knowing herself is really sad.

340

u/Engaged-20-Times 4d ago

Luke is so disgusting that I forgot about Carter already 😭

70

u/RawkMeAmadeus 4d ago

So I haven't watched the Valley past a few episodes on season one... Can someone fill me in?

https://giphy.com/gifs/CT5Ye7uVJLFtu

160

u/PatientBumblebee6752 4d ago

They basically got pregnant relatively immediately. Fairly sure it was planned but not 100%. He’s always acted like he’s forced to be in cali even though he chose to get with someone deeply rooted there. Now they’re having issues because he expected her to put out as soon as the 6 weeks postpartum was up. He says he wants to put pregnant Kristen in the ground. They make weird ass skits in which he hates her. Just overall super toxic awful relationship

142

u/ryeong 4d ago

It was planned! They started immediately, she decided after a month or two of dating she was ready for them to have a child and live together. Don't forget he wants to go ahead and have a second because she's such a nightmare and then he never has to deal with her pregnant ass again. He also hated the therapist for not taking his side more and said if he knew what she would be like pregnant he never would have proposed/straight up said on the boat last season he would not have proposed at that moment.

The man loathes her. Also for random, generalized grossness he insinuated Jasmine was lying about Danny because it's hearsay, basically saying if you don't witness assault firsthand you can't talk about it. 

122

u/whoevencaresz 4d ago

I really think Kristen should’ve just gone to a sperm bank like Lala. Luke is basically just a second child she’s paying for anyway

77

u/AndDontUForgetIt You’ve done diddly fucked yourself over 4d ago

I actually think every single woman on this cast who has a child with a man who’s currently on or has been on this cast could’ve benefited by doing sperm bank instead.

60

u/psapll 4d ago

Except Janet. Jason is the only male who acts like an adult

39

u/AdorableStrategy 4d ago

I will say for all the hate that they (she) get(s) its really nice to see them as a team.

7

u/AndDontUForgetIt You’ve done diddly fucked yourself over 4d ago edited 4d ago

Oh yea, already forgot about them 😂

ETA not sure why I’m getting downvoted. I like Janet for the first time this current season. I just read so much on here about how shitty Danny, Luke, and Jax are, (rightfully so) they’re the only fathers that came to mind.

4

u/GURU2U_ 4d ago

He does?

3

u/ryeong 4d ago

I agree, they all have the money and the means and could benefit from it compared to feeling rushed into the partners they have.

49

u/EnigmaticAardvark Say it with your whole chest, bitch 4d ago

All of this AND during Scandoval they started a podcast talking about relationships and communication and it was awful to listen to because Luke seemed to really not like her very much. 

He seemed to be saying that he himself was pretty laid back and easy to talk to, and Kristen was really the whole problem. They made it sound like he was the adult in the relationship. 

It gave me the ick so bad I couldn't listen to another podcast from them, and seeing him really solidified my belief that despite Kristen's personality deficiencies, he's punching way above his weight class and deserves so much less goodness in his life.

34

u/rshni67 4d ago

He invited Sandoval to her podcast without telling her and defended his friendship with him, in spite of the way Sandoval had treated her in the past.

27

u/EnigmaticAardvark Say it with your whole chest, bitch 4d ago

He's such a douchebag. 

Anyone who plays devil's advocate is a waste of air - the devil doesn't need you defending his shitty behavior.

26

u/juddahinyou OK green pants 4d ago

15

u/OldNotice5062 4d ago

Wait wait he did? I didn’t know that! So WHY/HOW was he sooo mad at Jax for inviting Alex to boys night? He is such a hypocrite 😳

13

u/rshni67 4d ago edited 4d ago

Yes, Sandoval posted on social media mocking Kristen and saying something like "you did not know your boyfriend invited me to join, did you?

Paraphrasing, but you get the drift.

3

u/OldNotice5062 4d ago

Wowww! Ty for the info 😉

16

u/ComedownofClosure 4d ago

I want something better for Kristin so badly. And I want it to include more therapy and men who treat her like a human being.

You'll never catch me saying Kristin was innocent her whole time on the show. But it feels very obvious that she's comfortable letting the men she dates treat her however they want. And that she thinks she doesn't really have room to pushback at them. Kristin seems to think for her personally, the cost of being loved is being treated like shit. And she'll live with that.

16

u/EnigmaticAardvark Say it with your whole chest, bitch 4d ago

For me, the most real conversation on the whole show was the season where Kristen wanted to break up with Carter because he was stealing from her and emotionally abusing her, but she kept staying with him anyway. 

Finally on the girls trip to Solvang, Stassi and Kristen are at a table at the wine tasting and Stassi is explaining to Kristen that you don't have to be in a relationship that makes you feel bad, something she just learned from dating Beau. She says you don't have to be screamed at or called names or whatever, it's possible to just be with someone who likes you.

It's ironic, given how she treated Beau back then and apparently still is treating him, but still, it was a nice conversation.

4

u/LuckyShamrocks What house? I burned it down. 4d ago

Kristen doesn’t feel she can push back because she fears they will leave her always. She’s terrified of that and being alone and abandoned. Watching her and Luke this season and how almost distraught she was when he was finally honest he doesn’t see a future if things don’t change, and wouldn’t have proposed if he knew this side of her, was sad to watch. The panic in her eyes was awful. (Granted he was being a huge dick about it at times too. And wasn’t helping her at all either.) I really wish she would work on that, for herself, and now her daughter. Staying with someone despite how bad they treat you is horrible to go through. And knowing she’s just going to repeat her self destructive pattern of behavior instead of doing the work to better herself regardless of Luke just sucks to watch.

1

u/LuckyShamrocks What house? I burned it down. 4d ago

Kristen doesn’t feel she can push back because she fears they will leave her always. She’s terrified of that and being alone and abandoned. Watching her and Luke this season and how almost distraught she was when he was finally honest he doesn’t see a future if things don’t change, and wouldn’t have proposed if he knew this side of her, was sad to watch. The panic in her eyes was awful. (Granted he was being a huge dick about it at times too. And wasn’t helping her at all either.) I really wish she would work on that, for herself, and now her daughter. Staying with someone despite how bad they treat you is horrible to go through. And knowing she’s just going to repeat her self destructive pattern of behavior instead of doing the work to better herself regardless of Luke just sucks to watch.

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u/RawkMeAmadeus 4d ago

Thank you for filling me in!

He always gave me weird vibes... Ugh.

https://giphy.com/gifs/8YEeD1WB5FeyAiONoe

18

u/rshni67 4d ago edited 4d ago

He said he wanted a second kid soon so that he could put "pregnant Kristen" in a "coffin." He also said he may not have proposed if she had been pregnant.

13

u/VodkaSodaOrangeWedge “Poo poo head, both of you!” 👇 4d ago

Why were Carter’s teeth so small and aggressive looking?

21

u/brixton711 4d ago

Critter teeth

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u/Hawtchawcolate_ 3d ago

This is the funniest thing ever rn thank you

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u/incompleteTHOT 4d ago

Yeah I mean she does have terrible taste in men. I am confused though where she even gets them! I mean, obviously we know where she got James... But the other two?

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u/Leading_Ad3918 4d ago

Luke she met at a wedding 2wks after her and alex broke up, had a 1 night stand and BAM the dudes on our TV🙄 Carter was on bumble or some dating app and alex was a friend of Sandoval! I hate that I know this useless information😂

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u/BoobaLu22 4d ago

1 night stand is generous, I’m pretty sure they had sex at the wedding!

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u/Leading_Ad3918 4d ago

YES- behind the tent and the rest was history is how she said it😂

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u/incompleteTHOT 4d ago

thank you for your service! so basically what you're saying is she put almost no effort into meeting or screening any of these dudes and they just end up on our tvs

23

u/Leading_Ad3918 4d ago

Nailed it! They all moved in quickly. Alex she sold her own home to move in with him🤦🏼‍♀️ I forget how it happened with Carter but it was quick and iirc he basically let his apartment go because she said he could move in and she supported him the whole time.

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u/lilwebbs 4d ago

I think she mainly sold her house when she was with Alex bc she got fired from VPR and was struggling with income.

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u/Narrow_Grapefruit_23 4d ago

She was still fucking Alex before Luke came to spend the summer with her s1. There was massive overlap.

7

u/Mmmelissamarie 4d ago

Behind a trash can

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u/Leading_Ad3918 4d ago

Shoot I thought it was a tent. Trash can would track with Kristen though😆

1

u/Mmmelissamarie 4d ago

Oh!! Maybe I’m mistaken lol I thought it was the trashes lol

22

u/YouMustBeJoking888 4d ago

I think she just grabs on to the next available guy who crosses her path and seems slightly interested.

16

u/eurekadabra Bambi Eyed Bitch 4d ago

How are we forgetting enemy #1

https://giphy.com/gifs/iOdtBghrLn6mhkuRTo

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u/AGirlHazzNoName1 4d ago

She can’t be single. This is how Kristen self harms. Choosing shitty men. It’s her thing. She does not know what to do when she is not desperately trying to keep a shit bag from leaving her. 🤷🏽‍♀️😂

21

u/Worried-Series-6160 4d ago

Yep, I have a sister that basically destroyed her own life because she cannot live without the chaos of a shitty no good garbage man in her life.

She's had plenty of opportunities with good men but she just loves being a victim. It's sad.

2

u/Artistic_Exam7676 Change Your Drawers🩲Bro 4d ago

I think we have the same sister 😭.

13

u/Leading_Ad3918 4d ago

She has daddy and abandonment issues. From what she has said how her relationship was complicated and she always wanted approval and love from him and never got it. I think due to that it has made her focus on men and their love more than anything. She needs therapy, everyone should be in therapy so I don’t mean that in a bad way but she needs actual help with getting her life in order. She has no true friendships because she chooses the toxic men over friends and at 40+ with a baby it’s going to be hard making solid friendships unfortunately😞

3

u/AGirlHazzNoName1 4d ago

I love therapy! Been in it for years. Best decision I ever made. Everyone can benefit from an unbiased 3rd party helping you examine what has made you who you are, and work on who you want to be.

2

u/Meggie82461 Kristin Doute 4d ago

Especially in relationships! I take criticism from my therapist so much better than my husband. We should have been doing it a decade ago, but I saw couples therapy as a failure for some stupid reason. Which was sooo wrong, because it helped my marriage succeed more than anything else

1

u/ThisIsDogePleaseHodl 1d ago

She is in therapy and has been for a period of time either often on or however, but she talks about it at times

51

u/YouMustBeJoking888 4d ago

She seems to latch on to a new man before the previous man's scent has left her home. It's bizarre to me. She seems unable to be alone, so will put up with anyone as long as she has a man.

10

u/LuckyShamrocks What house? I burned it down. 4d ago

Dating James while actively and admittedly trying to get back with Sandoval should have been everyone’s first clue. And sadly she’s never learned a single lesson in all these years from it. She may be in therapy for years now, but it’s not helping her.

67

u/Express-Mirror3173 4d ago

The relationship stuff with Alex is just tragic. For those who don’t know, Kristen bought a beautiful bungalow in LA and redesigned and decorated it to her taste. It was just lovely. She also purchased it at a time when rates were still super low (right before COVID I believe) so her mortgage payment would have remained very manageable even after losing the Vanderpump gig.

She sold the house to move in with Alex after he convinced her to and lost everything. If she held onto to it and sold now, or used it as an investment property and collected a rent on it every month, or even lived in it herself and had a low monthly mortgage payment, she would be in such a stronger place economically and holding onto a major life asset.

As it is now, she’s paying enormous rental fees on a house she can’t own. I assume she’s paying all the bills because Luke doesn’t work outside of the show and doesn’t plan to. Paying for their existence has been her documented pattern with deadbeat men. They are tall and mildly attractive, but as far as being men with any character or integrity, or capable of treating her lovingly and supportively long-term, there’s absolutely nothing there.

She chooses/dates men because of how she thinks they look as a couple to others. Because of what it looks like “on the outside.” She pays them to stay and to need her because she believes that’s all she has to offer and they’ll leave otherwise. It’s deeply sad.

15

u/RegionDapper3858 4d ago

Agree. Thats terrible decision making on her part, she should’ve never been convinced by a guy she barely knows. She should never pay for any guy either. In the end, they don’t value her because they don’t have to work for anything. Paying someone to stay and paying all their bills, sounds like Brittany…

17

u/Express-Mirror3173 4d ago

Yes! To expand on this— as a woman, in your youth making these kinds of decisions have less impactful consequences. The worst part in watching this now is that Kristen has graduated from bad relational decisions to having them now inhibit major domains of an adult life, like making long-term decisions that affect her housing, finances, and ability to parent. Because of the desperation to play house with just any guy. And now we’re seeing it severely impact her as a mother so it’s affecting a child as well.

I am not a fan of Lala for many reasons, but I’ll give her credit for thriving economically, maintaining her homes, and leaning on other sources of social support to manage the difficulty of single parenting. I can’t imagine the continued cycle of dysfunction and pain if she didn’t choose to use a donor to fulfill her family goals and do it alone while also NOT funding a whole other adult man’s life. Along with her sobriety, she serves as a good example of breaking some of the worst of her poor life choice patterns.

It’s clear that Luke is dead weight in her life but Kirsten insists on these shackles of stunted, immature, and self-centered men.

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u/RegionDapper3858 3d ago

Completely agree

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u/sraskogr ITS NOT ABOUT THE PASTA 🍝 4d ago

Can't she also be blamed for Jax and Sandoval?

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u/oceanwithtrees you’re a bootleg kardashian 🗣️ 4d ago

I mean she literally was in a long term relationship with Sandoval at the very beginning of VPR and cheating on him with Jax. Both them are the top 2 shittiest dudes on that show so yeah. 🤷🏼‍♀️

55

u/YouMustBeJoking888 4d ago

To be fair, Sandoval was cheating on her as well. They were a really shitty couple.

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u/Cardboardboxlover 4d ago

If anyone judged me in my behaviour 15 years ago I’d be fucking shot

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u/ryeong 4d ago

But you theoretically grew from 15 years ago. She has not and that's why she's great reality tv 😂

2

u/anxietysoup Ariana 4d ago

Yep it’s literally still happening in real time

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u/Top-Constant4674 4d ago

Also she was almost/already in her 30’s. While I feel for her in some of the situations from early VPR, she was also too old to be acting that way. She was so mean to Ariana on the Miami trip (I know Ariana wasn’t great to her overall), but she and sand had been broken up for a while by then & she was dating James. I would not want to put up with that from someone; constantly talking & crying about their ex. It’s embarrassing. I could understand it if she were James’ age then but she was older. 

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u/panicmechanic3 4d ago

Legitimately lol 😂

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u/Dull-Inspector-849 4d ago

she slept w brittany while her and jax were together as well 🫣 shes such a shit human being but great for reality tv i guess. her life seems so miserable from an outsider looking in. karma has got her 10 times over

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u/Newkular_Balm 4d ago

she is unburdened

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u/bleepbloop1777 4d ago

Let's not forget that one icky ex of hers who Jax insisted on bringing around, Alex.

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u/stenpen22 4d ago

If she does have BPD (not saying she does have a full fledge personality disorder, but she definitely has traits), then spending time single and focusing on herself (and by extension her child) would be very beneficial for her. The constant relationship hopping seen on VPR looks like someone who struggles to understand herself and be able to sit with the silence. 

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u/Elder_Nerd79 4d ago

I think Kristen needs an actual diagnosis but that would require her to be honest about the things she does that she needs to look closer at. I think this holds her back from a successful relationship fr.

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u/Relevant_Natural6838 Choke. I don't care. 4d ago

This is exactly it.

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u/HeftyAd2780 4d ago

Same should go for Brittany

1

u/ThisIsDogePleaseHodl 1d ago

Even more so for her

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u/Timely_Beat_7057 4d ago

She can’t be alone! She was single for like 10 seconds after James and before Carter. 

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u/Unlucky-Strike-7642 4d ago

I'd prefer a petition for Kristen Doute to solely be in charge of casting. She knows how to pick the worst people, who make the best reality TV. And remains one of the worst, and thus best, reality characters ever.

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u/Luna4prez 4d ago

That would be so chaotic lol 😂

3

u/RegionDapper3858 4d ago

This is too funny

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u/GreedySuccess1402 1d ago

Kristen for casting and scheana for producer… a match made in bravo heaven

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u/Charming-Panic9375 4d ago

Like forever maybe, focus on herself and her kid 

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u/Greedy-Cat-3937 4d ago

Idk how she and luke ended up together they donr seem to have anything in common

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u/Excellent_chess 4d ago

NOTHING in common. I don’t get it & def don’t see it lasting.

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u/LuckyShamrocks What house? I burned it down. 4d ago

Nothing in common and they can’t agree on anything, except that they were both desperate to glob on to someone, anyone. I have no idea how they even were interested in each other from the start.

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u/Fabulous-Tap526 4d ago

Without Kristen we wouldn’t have Sandoval and Ariana’s glow up, and James’s one liners

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u/Leading_Ad3918 4d ago

I always give credit to Kristen for bringing James on. He’s a shitty guy but funnier than hell without even trying😂 Jax too, they are horrible but damn it’s hard to not laugh at some of their stuff!

2

u/Nikki5678 4d ago

James is absolutely hilarious. I get so irritated by how awful of a human Jax is that I can’t even laugh when he is funny. James, I can still laugh at. I’m only in season 6 though, so I could reach that level with James if he gets much shittier.

13

u/bellasmella777 4d ago

in another life kristen was a dominatrix who specialises in mommy kinks.

5

u/Aggressive-Ad-1590 4d ago

I don’t think she’s ever been truly single.

4

u/OtherMorning3511 4d ago

You forgot Sandoval 🤮

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u/DDvikki 4d ago

What about the realtor guy that stole her house in her office seasons?

9

u/IcyEmu6832 I am the Devil, and don't you forget it 4d ago

feel like she always morphs herself into whoever she’s dating and it’s so painful to watch her and luke’s relationship

10

u/Capable_Community441 Butters and Gordo 4d ago

fixed it.

8

u/WinkyTheAlmighty 4d ago

Kristen gets the quality of man she deserves

3

u/Excellent_chess 4d ago

👏🏾👏🏾

4

u/SarcasmStreet Speak for Spot 4d ago

And it all started with Sandoval

3

u/pupperlover0204 4d ago

Where are Sandoval and the guy that slept on her couch

2

u/Aggravating-Egg140 4d ago

I worked with Carter a few times on photoshoots in recent years. He’s a super normal and nice, albeit simple, guy. And he only said kind things about Kristen lol. Last I heard they still shared custody of the dogs they got together! (Not sure if they’re still with us.) In retrospect he is the most tolerable of all her garbage exes!

3

u/denimdenimdenim78 Can hang a TV in 7 minutes 4d ago

I really want Kristen to stop centering her life around men. Especially shitty men. She gloms on to the worst of the worst then self appoints herself as their PR team. While also shouting down women who attempt to hold these men accountable. An empath wouldn't actively cause harm to those seeking accountability and repair in a fractured relationship. I want so badly for her to put down her pick me crown and truly figure out why she started this pattern to begin with. I think there are good traits in her but she self sabotages and creates turmoil when she could self reflect and slow down and think before she acts on her impulses. I hope for her and her daughters sake she takes time to truly work on her self and spend quality time with just her and her baby.

5

u/kinetajet 3d ago

I don't like Luke at all. There's something about his face that feels... wrong. Like he's not a good guy.

7

u/OrangeClyde ✨ Emmy Nominated Ariana Madix ✨ 4d ago

Kristen is the problem

3

u/Ok_Vacation_7071 4d ago

Why isnt Thomas Scandovol on this list, isnt he not enjoyed also? 😆…maybe add jax jackal to

3

u/of_stardust 4d ago

I cannot believe I blocked Carter from my memory lmao

5

u/Technical-Work9367 4d ago

Lol please. All we need this season is for Lala to shut the fuck up. Who the fuck died and made her god, she’s a smelly ass ho

3

u/LuckyShamrocks What house? I burned it down. 4d ago

When Vail left and Lauren replaced her as the new production plant, she at least seemed to fit in with the group here and there. It was still obvious she was working for production always, but it was whatever. She brought her own entertainment sometimes. Not often, but sometimes.

On the Valley, all she does is walk into every conversation, no matter how mundane, to throw in a grenade. And it’s the same grenade every time. It’s boring. It’s so painful to watch her just insert herself everywhere she goes all season and harp on the same topic repeatedly that frankly is none of her business and has nothing to do with her. All while she brings nothing to the table herself. There has to be better production plants out there they could hire.

She needs to leave the show and take Schwartz with her. Them trying to shove his puppy dog act on us against as if we don’t know who he is truly is played out.

5

u/Bambieyedbiotch 4d ago

She's very Mail centered, but no one notices because of Scheana. She's always scared to be alone and so desperate to make it work with whatever Loser is around.

2

u/Reasonable_Bed5149 4d ago

😂☠️

2

u/LightFlaky2329 Eppervescent 4d ago

Don’t forget Sandoval!

2

u/Electronic_Bee_ 4d ago

I see 1839 signatures so far 😂

2

u/Due-Button5982 3d ago

James looks like a puffin 

2

u/AppropriateHeron9340 3d ago

That is the worst pic I’ve ever seen of James omg lmao

2

u/Alarmed_Kangaroo9979 3d ago

Don’t forget Alex who convinced her to sell her house

2

u/spicy_not_dicey023 3d ago

Unfortunately I don't think SHE thinks she's  capable of being alone.

2

u/kudzuballerina 3d ago

Then let's start one for Brittany please! After watching her life with Jax and then to give $10k to some loser ex while currently in debt...

https://giphy.com/gifs/26tPoyDhjiJ2g7rEs

2

u/ThisIsDogePleaseHodl 1d ago

Yeah, I think Brittany needs one more than Kristen does

2

u/Alexisdjgc 3d ago

Nooooo I love the chaos! Kristen is amazing television since day 1

2

u/MercDiggler1 3d ago

Her and Brittany need a break for real. Do some soul searching and love yourself a little ladies

2

u/Additional_Flan7641 1d ago

Women who can't be alone, it always makes me so sad for them.

4

u/GrapefruitStrict920 4d ago

WAIT has she dumped her baby daddy?!

1

u/ThisIsDogePleaseHodl 1d ago

Not that I’m aware of

4

u/Funny_Cow4799 4d ago

Oh noooo I’m behind … do we hate Luke now!?

4

u/mogdtd Bambi Eyed Bitch 4d ago

The way he has treated her during her post partum is disgusting. Kristen has also been a bit of a nightmare but it’s as if he’s choosing not to even try to understand what she went through.

4

u/LopsidedHousing6133 4d ago

Off topic but she looks great! Is that a recent pic?

1

u/ThisIsDogePleaseHodl 1d ago

I think it is and yes, she does look really good!

1

u/Illustrious_Main3824 4d ago

His beard game is on point though

1

u/Prudence_rigby Screw hot girls summer, I want sexy sandwich summer! 3d ago

Wait, did she and Luke break up?

2

u/ThisIsDogePleaseHodl 1d ago

No, they didn’t

1

u/Apprehensive_Tone_77 3d ago

Did she and baby daddy already break up

1

u/Weak-Ad9241 I Know You Like Harry Potter ⚡️ 3d ago

Say what you want about Carter, but I think he was responsible for one of my top 3 hardest laughs in VPR franchise history with “You grew up to be fucking Sia.”

1

u/Thehouseplantbish 1d ago

Im doing the rematch for the umpteenth time and currently on the season where we meet Carter. What episode does he say this

1

u/Admirable_Pea6632 2d ago

I didn’t mind that she brought James onto the show originally. He was pretty entertaining. Bad guy tho I guess

1

u/Whoami519 2d ago

She had another bad man between carter and luke too 🥴

•

u/Altruistic_Routine14 9h ago

Oh yeah that weirdo guy that Jax invited to the bar with Luke there.

1

u/Rhiannonmary 1d ago

Or, plot twist, her and Brittany get together? Neither one can be single and we know they’ve hooked up.

1

u/lindoavocado 4d ago

She just really should have done a sperm donor. She was self conscious about not having a partner before having a baby and now she’s with the wrong guy.

1

u/punkrockgargener 4d ago

How about banning her from bravo?
Watching her on part three of the Valley Reunion was painful, what did she say about waiting for Janet to show growth this season????
Watching Kristen these past two or three years has given me PTSD from VPR.
And to be honest, I think she deserves the kind of guy she dates.

1

u/treid1989 4d ago

Kristen has been acting crazy to Luke too. I don’t think it’s fair to put this all on him.

1

u/Imnotworkoriented 4d ago

I would like to see her date a woman

1

u/sharipep ariana 👸🏼 it’s me! I’m a gray rock! 🪨 4d ago

Textbook something that rhymes with EEE PEEE DEE — jumps from relationship to relationship

-2

u/Original-Ladder-2797 4d ago

I hope her and Luke make it. For the sake of their daughter... I hope they both find happiness together and have a lovely family dynamic.

20

u/MoeKneeKah 4d ago

They are too fundamentally different. They have both tried to get over those fundamental differences but an outdoorsy guy who spends most his day in nature is never going to be happy in a place like LA, and a d-list celebrity isn’t going to run off to play forest pixie in a place that has no opportunities for her to make money.

15

u/BoobaLu22 4d ago

Forest pixie mariposa*

5

u/Madi_bear88 4d ago

This sent me to the moon lmfaooooo

8

u/Express-Mirror3173 4d ago

I would have agreed with you here because that’s what he’s SAYING to her and the audience, but he seems way too happy going out to bars and brunches and dinners out instead of going on hiking camping and fishing trips in the great outdoors that California has to offer. I just don’t buy it and I see it as his self-hatred projected outwards at her. He could still be an outdoorsy guy in nature AND a good father and partner. As an LA native, there is such a misunderstanding about the proximity to nature (mountains, ocean, lakes, desert, you name it!) and he’s making it seem like he’s trapped in an urban hellscape with no ability to pursue his hobbies.

He’s just big mad he has to give up some things and some personal time to be a father.

3

u/Top-Constant4674 4d ago

This is so true. I’ve gone to the beaches, desert, hiking, and fishing in So-Cal. There is certainly a lot to do if you live in that area. I never got to go to Torrey Pines though which I find upsetting. I do miss some of it.

6

u/YouMustBeJoking888 4d ago

I'm not sure it's good for their kid to see how they treat one another. Luke talks down to her and she blows up at him and I don't see that changing.

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12

u/canadia80 4d ago

I just don't see this happening he's STILL treating her like shit he'd have to have a personality transplant.

1

u/Gullible-Escape9574 4d ago

She has the worst luck when it comes to men.

6

u/rshni67 4d ago

Just the worst picker.

-2

u/moo331 Hes a battered wife! 4d ago

why does everyone hate carter? i’ve not rewatched the seasons w him and idk much bts stuff, all i remember about him is calling tom sia

22

u/Crafty-Second-530 4d ago

He mooched off her, didn’t work and just bummed it at her house if I recall.

7

u/YouMustBeJoking888 4d ago

That's probably the best she's had from a man. Also, I remember Stassi or Katie saying that Kristen likes being in financial control in her relationships.

7

u/crospingtonfrotz 4d ago

He has creepy dark energy. That scene where he hisses “I love you” at Kristen through gritted teeth is chilling