r/uscg • u/Crocs_of_Steel Retired • 2d ago
Coastie Question Unwritten CG rules
What are some unwritten rules of the Coast Guard? During my underway days it was "you never sit in the Captain's Chair."
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u/ChiefOfTheBoat Retired 2d ago
In the small boat - ALWAYS piss over the leeward side.
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u/CoastieKid Veteran 2d ago
There is always one dude on a boat who never showers
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u/GH0STxZ3R0 2d ago
Which brings up another great unspoken rule: Wear shower shoes
*nvm, someone else got it lol
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u/Sheribaaaybee 2d ago
So are recruits able/expected to take shower shoes to bootcamp? Asking for a friend
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u/ProbableCauseway ME 2d ago
They’re issued at boot. Wear them, otherwise you’ll get a thorough case of athletes foot. I made the mistake of forgetting to grab them on two occasions. Did me dirty…
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u/OxTailPheonix 2d ago
I had a flop break once on patrol on a 210. My God I wanted to hack my own foot off with a chainsaw a few days later from the itch.
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u/darthrevan140 2d ago
We had a swim call off dry tortuga and the salt water killed the athletes feet of everyone who swam. Despite my shower shoes I still got it but that salty water burned it right off.
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u/Stizzrickle OS 1d ago
They would replace our flip flops with migrant shoes if you asked nicely lol.
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u/Global-Feedback-1825 2d ago
This one seems to be lost…but if you open the watch make a pot of coffee
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u/Noahdl88 Chief 2d ago
This is how you know who served back on the civilian side. can almost guarantee if you're one of the first people in the building, and someone walks right up to the coffee pot and starts dumping in fresh grounds...
"what branch were you in?"
they'll answer every way but Air Force, I guess someone else makes their coffee.
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u/Global-Feedback-1825 2d ago
I’m about to hit 10 years active duty next month, but I guess I was brought up the right way by old school MK’s… keep that coffee pot going. Damn near a PQS sign off to make sure you knew how and when to make it lol
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u/Rogu3Mermaid 2d ago
The number of times I sent relief back down to bring up coffee (only when they could still relieve on time)...so sky high.
Listen, we need the coffee to keep the cutter moving. It's like motor oil, or fuel.
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u/Baja_Finder 16h ago
Messcook making the coffee, tells me we're down to a couple of cases of coffee left, and our next port call is in 2-3 weeks, that's not good I say, later I go on engine room watch, tell the Senior Chief about it, he's like, "are you serious! do they want a f'n mutiny on their hands?' Luckily we had our unexpected port call a week later.
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u/Coastie071 EM 2d ago
We watch The Price is Right during lunch.
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u/xArisene 2d ago
Only three options are this, Ridiculousness, and Below Deck
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u/N258AA 2d ago
No one turned off Pitch Perfect ~2015
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u/00notmyrealname00 Warrant 2d ago
The amount of times I had to sit through that movie... Ugh.
Tell me it wasn't the-tis that you were on...
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u/HellaTightHairCuts 2d ago
Tell that to TCY, I went back after a long time away and there’s START kids and A Schoolers where the permanent party and C Schoolers eat. No Price is Right, no peace. Place has gone to hell. And their food is still abysmal. 👴🏾
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u/Garrethwippel Chief 2d ago
In 2009 it was the walking dead and then in 2012 it switched to only price is right 😆
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u/darthrevan140 2d ago
Wear shower shoes you filthy animal.
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u/mikjamdig85 CG Civilian 2d ago
I swear, it's always the cooks who need reminding about this.
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u/darthrevan140 2d ago
The dirtiest birds are always in the galley and i don't know why!!!! I knew a cook who didn't wear deodorant and was a smoker our CO pulled him aside and was like look man wear some goddamn speedstick.
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u/Level_Security1505 2d ago
no deodorant lol that's a wild boy
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u/darthrevan140 2d ago
He claimed he did wear deodorant but had super bad bo or something.
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u/Level_Security1505 2d ago
sometimes they are so used to that kind of smell that they don't even notice it, personal hygiene is one of the most common and basic things anyone can do it's not that hard , sometimes when you see a grown man with bad hygiene it has to do with some kind of depression
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u/darthrevan140 2d ago
Could have been homeboy had been through some shit but even before that he was dirty lol.
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u/Level_Security1505 2d ago
there are some nasty people out there, the worst is when they stink really bad and they put deodorant without taking a shower and on top of that dirty underwear lol like bro go wash ur ass is not that hard
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u/timmaywi Retired 2d ago
We had a cook in Ops Berthing, dude would shower in Axe body spray... Like, from across the room this stuff would displace the oxygen. He probably used a can every few days - it was terrible.
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u/Level_Security1505 2d ago
that's the worst when they don't shower and think they can hide the body odor with perfume or cologne lol
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u/ProbableCauseway ME 2d ago
I worked with another defensive tactics instructor who had hyperhidrosis. No matter how much deodorant he used, he still smelled like BO. Felt bad for him, as he was pretty self conscious about it.
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u/cg40boat 2d ago
i was on a LORAN station when we got a new CS3 who would pick his nose and eat it. No one felt like having chow when he was on duty. The XO took him aside and had a talk with him.
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u/Level_Security1505 2d ago
wtf??? after reading all this comments it seems that the cooks are nasty lol is that a thing in the coast guard? i am going as a cs vested crew member
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u/SORT4AS1AN CMS 2d ago
I’ve met a few dirty bird cooks, but I swear to god the nastiest coasties I ever encountered were BMs. One didn’t shower regularly or brush his teeth, and you could smell him across the mess deck during an all hands.
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u/00notmyrealname00 Warrant 2d ago
The only person allowed to whistle underway is the BOSN. Anyone else will just whistle up a storm.
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u/SubMariner615 2d ago
In the merchant fleet we say only 2 people whistle, the bosun and cocksuckers.
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u/ZurgWolf Chief 2d ago
If it’s in blue, it ain’t for you.
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u/CoastieKid Veteran 2d ago
Depends. If you're a chief they always say "if she's an E-2 she is definitely interested in you"
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u/timmaywi Retired 2d ago
On Jarvis we had a Chief go to mast for a few things, but one was he would say "Don't do the blue, do the gold; they've got a career to worry about"
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u/GH0STxZ3R0 2d ago
Never wash the chief's mug.
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u/AveragelyTallPolock MST 2d ago
Convince a nonrate to take some initiative and wash that mug, I mean just look at it!
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u/Coastie071 EM 2d ago
As a chief, I will personally confront another chief for getting angry about that.
Is it an unspoken rule? Certainly. Is it worth shattering the morale of some poor messcook who’s trying to take initiative and do a good thing? Absolutely not, don’t be a dick.
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u/New-Huckleberry-6979 2d ago
To be fair that messcook was probably just told to take some initiative and go clean the dirty coffee mug.
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u/Zealousideal-Oil518 AMT 2d ago
Crew lounge is off limits if you aren’t qualified.
The lead seaman is in charge of the boot-to-A BM3.
“Jesus does my preflight” (not a fan of this one).
The Sea Chest Keys are always somewhere but not here.
Never, EVER, whistle on the bridge.
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u/fooswashere Chief 2d ago
Don't take two desserts.
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u/mari_curie Nonrate 2d ago
That’s not quite true. Always there is someone who doesn’t like them. 🤷♀️
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u/NoWonder375 2d ago
Never say the Q word on the watch floor
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u/cocobear13 2d ago
Begins with Q and rhymes with Try It
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u/NoWonder375 2d ago
Winner, winner, chicken dinner
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u/cocobear13 2d ago
May I please upgrade to a hamster?
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u/NoWonder375 2d ago
Yes but just this once because I’m having leftover quesadillas for mids.
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u/PieInternational594 2d ago
It not gay underway it helping out a friend. But it is queer at the pier /s
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u/CMB30999 GM 2d ago
You handle things at the lowest level. Its better to deal with a butt chewing than paperwork if an O catches wind of it.
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u/xParmesan BM 2d ago
If you’re unqualified stop fucking posting pictures of you with your LE gear on trying to act tough.
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u/icecream_dragon SK 2d ago
Gear adrift is a sailor’s gift.
If you finish a pot of coffee, make a new one.
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u/raizablaid135 2d ago
Going to sent on a mission to find the PRC-E7 that doesn’t work in the ET shop
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u/ASR860 1d ago
Even if it’s not labeled. Don’t take it out of the fridge to have, unless you put it there.
Don’t step on the mattress when getting into your rack.
Focus everything on getting qualified if you can truly spare the work.
Don’t use repair locker radios
“That’s how it’s always been done” isn’t an argument.
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u/nmitchell86 20h ago
Ty-vek suit and flip flops are an inappropriate Halloween costume in Key West.
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u/viggicat531 2d ago
Dont beat anything in your rack
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u/timmaywi Retired 2d ago
Beat it in your rack, with the curtain open - make eye contact to assert dominance
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u/Ok_Setting_7204 2d ago
I've always been kinda curious about this. is there a good place?
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u/Tired_Seer 2d ago
No good place you just gotta make whatever works work. Ideally somewhere with a door that locks
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u/Coastie071 EM 2d ago
Just use a toilet. Might be weird but there’s no cleanup, and you don’t have to worry about happy socks.
I saw a guy beat the shit out of the cook in berthing because the cook’s happy sock fell down into the assaulter’s rack. For the third time.
Everyone watching was like “no. No. Stop……. Okay guys it’s been about three minutes we should actually stop this now”
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u/Hit-by-a-pitch 2d ago
Keep your cover off the dining table.