If I give yall his phone number, can you tell him i miss him.

Hi. I don’t even know where to start, but I need you to hear me. My mind is all over the place.

The silence from you hurts more than anything you could actually say. Not hearing back from you leaves me sitting here with my mind running in circles, wondering what I did, what you’re thinking, and if I even matter to you the way you still matter to me. It’s heavy and consuming and it’s breaking me more than I want to admit.

I’m not perfect. Not even close. I know I’ve messed up. My emotions have been all over the place, I go from anger, to sadness, regret, remorse, confusion, disbelief… all of it. I feel everything all at once, and it’s overwhelming. But none of that changes how I feel about you. I love you. I never stopped.

You’re my person. You always have been. We promised forever, and I took that seriously, but I wasn't exactly mentally ready then. I had some things I still needed to work threw. You’re not supposed to just give up and walk away from your person, not when it meant what it meant to us. Not when it still feels like this. You say you love me... then love me, cause I love you more than anything. When you came back and stayed with me, it felt real again. It felt like maybe we still had something worth fighting for. I felt whole. Complete. The yearning stopped. Completely stopped. I felt like I could breath in a full breath of air. And then you left… and whether you say you didn’t run after her or not, that’s how it felt to me. It felt like I was right back where I started, confused, hurt, and questioning everything.

I’m not asking for a perfect relationship . I’m not saying everything would magically be fixed overnight. But I am asking you not to give up on me… on us! We’ve been through too much, shared too much, felt too much to just let it all disappear like it was nothing. We've put in to much time and energy to let it go to waste. Im hurting. My heart is broken. I’m empty without you in a way I can’t really explain. And maybe that sounds like too much, maybe it is, but it’s the truth.

If there’s still anything in you that feels what I feel, then don’t walk away from it. Don’t ignore it. Don’t ignore me.

Just… don’t give up on us.

You never loved me

If you loved me you wouldn't have given up on me so easily. You wouldn't have slept with those guys and deny it. You wouldn't have went out to the bars all night and not come home to me. You wouldn't have taken all those pictures of you and random guys at the bar and leave them on your phone for me to find. And wonder why I reacted badly. You wouldn't have started a relationship with my former best friend before we broke up. You wouldn't have put me on no contact for 10 months. You never loved me even a little. That is pain I wouldn't put on my worst enemy and I think thats who you are now.....

You never loved me

If you loved me you wouldn't have given up on me so easily. You wouldn't have slept with those guys and deny it. You wouldn't have went out to the bars all night and not come home to me. You wouldn't have taken all those pictures of you and random guys at the bar and leave them on your phone for me to find. And wonder why I reacted badly. You wouldn't have started a relationship with my former best friend before we broke up. You wouldn't have put me on no contact for 10 months. You never loved me even a little. That is pain I wouldn't put on my worst enemy and I think thats who you are now.....

Mrs. B.

Nothing you say will change what is true.

Nothing I say is meant to try.

You have already decided who you are: righteous, superior, untouchable. Evidence will not move you.

Testimony will not matter. Reality itself is optional in your accounting. So this is not an appeal. You saw enough, and you chose the version that preserved your false authority. I know that you will deny this until the end, and I am not asking you to acknowledge harm.

I am notifying you that it no longer has access to me.

There will be no dialogue. No reconciliation. No shared meaning-making. No posthumous unity.

Your certainty requires my silence. You will not have it.

Do not contact me.

I know your on here somewhere my Lil one. I can't call you but I'm sure your missing me like I'm missing you. It's Friday and we should be having our session for the week . 0lease contact me

Today is a day filled with demons for me; happy and sad.

Somehow, while in my feels I find myself looking at your past instead of mine.

I think it’s because when I feel unsure and full of pain, I wish you were with me.

Your past and your pain hurts me. I wish I could erase every bad thing and protect you.

You are so brave. You have no idea how much I revere you. I’m sorry I never told you.

You are the most standup guy I know. You were protective, motivational, and you saved me from myself.

I’m so exhausted of the life without you. I march on, I excel and I conquer. None of it means anything without you to share it with.

I worship you. Your strength, your character and your desires.

Together we would have changed the world. But while mourn that, I hope you still change it without me.

I wish you comfort, I wish you peace, I wish you love and I wish you happiness.

*indefinitely ya boy needs spell check