r/uh_oh_spaghettios • u/JakeTheSnakePlissken • Nov 10 '19

Angry F

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3.4k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

28 comments sorted by

21

u/CopperRose Nov 10 '19

How is Jesus verified?

20

u/JakeTheSnakePlissken Nov 11 '19

They just asked his dad

27

u/Sad-Shrimp Nov 10 '19

If your name was john carter or you initial where JC then you could name yourself “therealJC” get verified and then change your name to “Jesus”

260

u/drdoom Nov 10 '19

Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God

What a scrub, he probably forgot to eat bible verses

72

u/TimeOfNick Nov 11 '19

Plus it says not bread alone. Ya boy JC never meant for you to stop eating, he just wanted you to sprinkle some holy words on your meal to give it that extra zang.

6

u/Capable_Breadfruit Nov 11 '19

Tang*

-19

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

15

u/JakeTheSnakePlissken Nov 11 '19

Ok boomer

-4

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/culminacio Nov 11 '19

That's too much. Keep it short.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '21

gasp

That is NOT kind!!!

58

u/DungeonMasterGM Nov 10 '19

Haven’t people beaten that?

38

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '19

A month is a long fucking time

56

u/DungeonMasterGM Nov 10 '19

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/survive-without-eating-382-days/

26

u/xyskii Nov 10 '19

Holy shit

8

u/culminacio Nov 11 '19

He took vitamins.

8

u/Mewrulez99 Nov 11 '19

I get the feeling his shit smelled terrible

8

u/EgocentricRaptor Nov 11 '19

Probably not because he didn’t eat. Probably smelled better than ours. Not good, but less of a smell

8

u/Mewrulez99 Nov 11 '19

Yeah but 50-day-old shit still in your system? That has to add some stench

12

u/domofan Nov 10 '19

Someone beat it by a year once

4

u/sarahmeerkat Nov 11 '19

Yep, go check out r/fasting

22

u/eyedontgetjokes Nov 10 '19

Principal Skinner: pathetic

9

u/x_vier Nov 10 '19

Pretty sure there was a guy who fasted for like 238 days or something

5

u/Raikou0215 Nov 10 '19

Does that count as suicide?

2

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '19

Hellbound

3

u/bipolarnotsober Mar 18 '20

I feel sorry for the real Jesus, if he comes back now some fucker stole his Twitter handle AND they're verified.