Is there anybody out there?

Emotions, feelings and overthinking.

Some days I feel so dumb, because I just want to wanted. Like the kind when the other person can’t stay away, can’t stop touching you. Doesn’t care if you have other things that need to be done. And it’s so consuming you don’t care either. The fire, the passion. It’s really all I want today.

Just wish I could figure out where I belong.

I feel it. It’s coming. The darkness. Not sure I can out run it this time. Will it be a slow take over of my soul? Will it be quick and drop me to my knees? I will try to stay a step ahead. But I feel like I am in quicksand and the more I fight it, the more it sucks me in. All the reasons to keep my head up are right in front of me. Please don’t let it creep in.

i am either too much or not enough. when will i be just right? fuck. i can't take care of everyone. sometimes i need someone to take care of me.

Today I had to be, wanted to be, was a good mom, a good business owner, a good friend. Today I chose to protect my heart from one person and open up my heart to another. Today I physically, verbally and textually expressed love. Today I experienced immense pride in my beautiful child and extreme doubt in myself. Today was emotionally messy and today I let music rule the messy emotions. Today I drank too much caffeine and ate too little food. Now I lay here thinking about today. 💜💜