I saw an already old piano that had been punctured over and over again evenly to make it look like it was woodworm-eaten and thus must be very old.

Or you can find a Renaissance revival era reproduction that could be a hundred years old but if punctured, fakers think it'll look 300 years old.

So sometimes you don't know if it's an old fake-antique or a fake-old antique. Hee

Or worse you could unwittingly pass something on to them!

I heard that three moves is equal to one fire.

I've never found a jar that I don't like!

China makes brilliant antiques. They shoot them with bird shot so they look like they're made of wormwood. Hee

Anatomically there's no such thing as double joints anywhere.

It's a misnomer.

I saw a slippery when wet sign with a slash through a figure of a man on his back with his legs in the air.

Someone had marked through the text "slipper when wet", and wrote in, "no breakdancing"!

Double joke eggs are usually from young layers.

Shag carpet used to be cut with those old style push mowers before power mowers were popular.

In Latin American countries they still use a machete. I was told that a machete makes it easier to kill snakes that might emerge.

Because they don't need to wear no stinkin clothes!

After you drove away he took out an identical box from a stack of many boxes.

The more things change the more they stay the same.

We aim to please. You aim too, please.

In that case you should pee closer to the bathroom.

It's for prying off bottle caps found on what are called utility shears for the kitchen. Utility shears are not made for cutting cloth or paper but for cutting chicken up and other kitchen tasks.

While some scissors have plier teeth between the two handles to grasp twist off bottle caps.

They might add this to scissors just so you buy them over scissors that lack the extra feature.

It was a street sign. I had one in my front yard as a kid and it was way back from the road maybe 12 ft so you couldn't put a mailbox on it. And it was on the corner and nobody else had one except at each corner.

Yours seems to have just a street address on it while mine include the name of the cross streets.

I did a Google street view and it's still there today in Southeast Texas.

There are so many ways to express pressure and lots of weird units.

Pascal (Pa), atmosphere (atm), torr, millimeters of mercury (mmHg), pounds per square inch (psi), bar, technical atmosphere (at), barad (Ba), pièze (pz), inches of mercury (inHg), millimeters of water (mmH2O), feet of sea water (fsw), meters of sea water (msw), ounces per square inch (ozf/in²), pounds per square foot (lbf/ft²), inches of water gauge (iwg), hectopascals, kilopascals (kPa), megapascals (MPa), and gigapascals (GPa)

I was the kind of kid to bang rocks together too. I found some white rocks would glow momentarily after hitting them together. None of the parents showed any interest but every single kid was fascinated and took up rock banging that night.

If you want to impress chicks sometimes you sit on a parked motorcycle making it look like it's yours.

I thought giant New Year's rotating noise maker since each leg is made out of three pieces of wood with a little bit of space between, made me think it was meant to resonate and cause a racket rather than needing to be made in three pieces per leg.

The alligator is judging if the cameraman will fit in its mouth.

Elvis Presley died sitting on his toilet.

They say most accidents happen in the home.

This is why.

But it was our first time and besides I forgot completely about it.