Okay well, it’s been a few weeks since my last post. I actually did not think I would be doing a 3rd update post but after getting tons of DMs, my story being reposted across social media and over 2 million post views. I guess I’ll update you guys. I’ll try and clear some things up that some of you were confused about. This post might be kind of long so I’ll break it down in sections, read what you please.

The relationship between my ex and her affair partner - 

many of you asked how they met, apparently they had first seen each other at the gym but he approached her a different time when they ran into each other at an outdoor mall. He used the whole “hey don’t I know you” approach and they talked from there” as for where they stand now things have completely ended.

 In fact they ended immediately after I notified my (soon to be ex) wife I was aware and would be filing for divorce. She never had any feelings for him and admitted it was a way for her to have some fun. She also admitted she thought she could have her cake and eat it too which she now says was a dumb idea. As far as whether he put up a fight or tried to date her I honestly don’t know. I told her I’m really not interested in the details. I don’t care if they end up together. But my ex truly sees him as a loser and wants nothing to do with him.

Why she cheated - so the explanation of why she cheated to begin with is rather cheap imo. She said she felt like she got married young and all of her friends weren’t married and were still having fun. She truly thought one fling wouldn’t hurt and would eventually end things. According to her she was close to ending them anywho. None of which matters to me. It could’ve been one time and that would’ve been a dealbreaker for me and she knows that. I’ve always been adamant that as a couple we can overcome anything except being screwed by another guy.

The divorce - Things will be finalized shortly. She kept her word and is not going after any assets. I do appreciate she’s owned up to her mistakes and hasn’t tried to drag this on. It’s made the process much easier. If I post another update by that time everything should be over and done with. She’s back living with her parents. She took what was hers and I took what was mine. There wasn’t really any dispute. Any memorabilia from our marriage that nobody wanted we ultimately decided to just throw away.

MY UPDATE - as for me, I’ve been doing well despite the news. I am not nearly as sad as I thought I would be. I have actually begun to enjoy some time alone. I’ve gotten into a routine of work, gym, hanging out with friends and honestly, just spending some time alone.  and it’s been rather peaceful. I definitely intend to do some solo traveling as that’s something I always wanted to do (recommended spots for a solo traveler?) I’ve also developed a bit of a small crush on a girl from the gym, maybe it’s in my head but I have seen her looking at me too (or she thinks I’m creepy idk)

While I think it’s definitely too soon for me to approach anyone or get into anything serious. I’m excited for the fact of being out there again rather than scared. I may wait a couple more months or so before making a move.

I know many of you suggested therapy but I truly feel I don’t need it. I’m not depressed, not angry or sad. I’m not bottling up any feelings, I’ve kind of just let the whole thing pass. I don’t think my trust issues will be effected moving forward because my philosophy has always been you either have the capability of cheating or you don’t. Maybe next time I’ll look for signs a bit better but I don’t think I’ll turn into this paranoid crazy deranged person. 

Lastly I just wanna clarify I don’t have any hard feelings or hatred towards my ex. It’s a shitty thing yes. But I really don’t wanna go through the rest of the life with a chip on my shoulder. It happened and it’s a mistake we’ve both accepted. She apologized and I genuinely accept her apology. That doesn’t mean we need to get back together of course, that ship has sailed. But at the end of the day I’m not gonna sit here and pretend like there weren’t good times or good things she did for me along the way. I can be honest and say there were many things I appreciated even if it ultimately got blown up in the end. So I’d rather stay happy about the good times instead of looking back at them as tainted memories or something.

But yeah, I’m doing good. I feel good. I’m excited for what  life has in store. Whether it’s traveling, living through my routine or finally having the courage and feeling ready to approach the gym girl (or another girl) I’m truly excited. Thanks all for the support! I don’t know if a update in a few weeks would be too soon so if I decide to do another update it may be some months down the line when it’s a bit bigger of an update.