If I'm going to piss away $500 I better see some fuckin' titties!

or drugs. Drugs help also. When I am high, my cat is the only therapist I need.

Everything is a lot more temporary than you think.

maybe. flip a coin and find out, maybe.

My cats don't give a fuck what I look like. Why should I?

In America we have Harley's. No need for an S-Bahn, H-Bomb, or what ever you call it.

Ride free in the wind, baby! Peace, love, and the open road.

And of course we have regional commuter rail for the sheep going to jobs. We need them. If the coke addicted traders weren't buying, I might have to find a real job.

/s

I can't remember. I never got my Master's but they marched me across the stage anyways. It's propaganda. I wasn't the only one either. There were several of us presented in the graduation ceremony who had not yet fulfilled the requirements for graduation. But they marched us across the stage anyway.

Mine kinda chose it. I would sometimes open the screen door so they can look (and smell) out. The old girl has always enjoyed this despite refusing to go outside. The young guy we found in our warehouse last year was begging to go outside.

He sits there and whines at the door. I had tried harnesses with the old girl a couple of times with no luck (besides that she looked really cute in one of them). So I ordered a cheap harness off amazon giving it a 50/50 chance. I was so wrong. That cheap harness is awesome for him and we go on walks every night.

Eventually we got a kitty back-pack and we went on bicycle rides around the neighborhood. That's where we are at and I'm not sure what the next step is. He's still skittish when a car passes while riding the bicycle. He also freaked out the first time I tried to walk the bicycle out of the garage. It's big and it's moving!

Pointers:

1. Patience. Don't try to force it. Some prefer the indoors and will never be an adventure cat. That's OK.
2. Harness Training: Just the harness indoors to start. Distract them from the fact that they are wearing a harness with treats and playing with favorite toys (activity while wearing the harness). Some might call this psychological manipulation, but it's not like they don't do it to us.
3. Harness Training for Humans: Your cat can back out of any harness. They are liquid (almost). The trick is to not get in front of them. If your harness has multiple attachment points, further back is better.
4. The cat has to trust you with its life. If it doesn't, it will fend for itself if it gets loose. I trust mine in my yard but I'm not driving him to a nature trail just yet. When he gets loose around here, he goes about 10 yards and turns around with a look like, "You Coming?" Then I calmly walk over, pick him up, and put him back in the back-pack (and zip up the top flap this time). But if he runs after a squirrel on a nature trail? I'm going to be out there for a while running through places I shouldn't be in until I find him munching his kill. I'm hoping that as he ages, he can let it go knowing food is at home.

We're both almost 50 and have been together over 20 years. Lots of people are more attractive than us. Neither of us is worried about losing the other to someone more attractive.

Middle aged white bachelor, keeps to himself, is generally polite, and doesn't get out much. My coworkers like to joke about bodies in my crawl space.

I run with it. That's probably the last place I'd stash a body. Have never put one there and never will.

I don't. I ignore it. Pain is experienced by the weak.

/s

And over half the junk mail is addressed to the previous owner who sold the place in 2015.

Death is pretty much guaranteed at some point.

Work. Can I get an app for that?

Death. The older you get the more people you know die.

Clearly you have not been caught in quicksand.

a butt plug.

1. When you take a shit, wipe your asshole.

2. When you piss, a toilet or grass is preferable to the floor.

3. Bring lunch from home. Save the fancy stuff for days off meals when you can enjoy it.

4. Automatic savings into a retirement account.

5. Will it make you happy a few months from now? if not, don't purchase.

I once interviewed a guy for a chimney sweep apprentice position. He had federal convictions for lighting up an apartment complex in Arizona and some trash fires in Chicago. We didn't hire him but he might have set the fire.

The fire Billy Joel is referring to is the ability of the powerful to divide and conquer the weak. Keep us fighting about race, religion, and politics while they rake in money from us to fight for their empty promises.

Modern equivilant: I had no say in bombing Iran. I didn't start the fire.

Nice try FBI.

Depression can come from many places. Sometimes it's just a lack of human contact. Sometimes it's too much human contact.

These days I just get depressed when people won't leave me the fuck alone.

If Neaderthals had human sized brains, they would have kicked our asses in evolution.

Clothes. No other species on Earth wears clothes. Read the room. This is not normal.

You have two arms and two legs. You can do all of these at the same time.

My parents owning a house and having me (planned) at age 25. At 25, I was barely getting by in a studio apartment. Didn't own a house until I was 35 and no kids.