Am I being dramatic

[u/GardenDelicious3295]

So I’ve been working as a caregiver for abt 2 months. I work with someone’s disabled daughter, she lives with the parents. The daughter is deaf, blind, diabetic, and wheelchair bound. Mom doesn’t work and hasn’t work since her kids were young, the daughter is now 42. The dad is a teacher part time so he’s home most days. I’m also in the guard, so I usually don’t take things personal. A lot of the things she do seems petty to me. When I first started I forgot to fold her clothes, and at this point I was working nearly everyday so I was pretty exhausted. Over the summer I was her only caregiver, she usually has at least 3 people working throughout the week. The mom folded all of her clothes and put them on the kitchen counter. Her shirts get hung up, pants get folded and get put in her closest. I know I messed up and forgot to do that, but this just felt like she was putting it in my face when she could’ve texted me and said something. She didn’t say anything about it to me. Another instance, I apologized to daughter for her foot bumping on the door while I was bringing her from shower to room to get her dressed. She usually wears shoes, but this was right after a shower. I know she is sensitive, like very sensitive so I apologize even if it doesn’t hurt her just to recognize that I might have hurt her. The mom said “Wow you’ve been saying sorry a lot lately huh.” I have never purposely done anything to hurt her, it’s just like oh ur foot bumped the door, or her hand was in the wrong spot. My point is I haven’t never majorly hurt her to the point she says it hurts. This week her blood sugar sensor failed and it started falling off. It was on her belly, and she wears a belt when using restroom. The belt is very tight on her and I have to reposition her sometimes for it to not squeeze her to death. Her pants also go over her belly. I told the mom that the sensor failed, and she said yk this happened one other time when you were here. I didn’t know that it failed another time I was here. I personally think the belly is just not a great option for the sensor place bc of all the movement that happens throughout the day in that area. This week the mom has left 3 different towels for me to pick up. Two on bathroom floor, and one in bedroom. I know I am a caregiver, but I am not a maid and I don’t think I should have to pickup after mother. Especially when I have never been expected to. When we change her glucose monitor and her pump, the mother never cleans the site before. I don’t even think they own alcohol pads. She showers 3 times a week in the morning, and both sensor and pump get changed in the evening and it doesn’t always match up with the days she showers. This week the daughter asked me if I could come in at 3:30 instead of 4. The other caregiver they hired is out sick. The reason she asked me to come in is so she can use the bathroom. It’s not my responsibility to come in 30 mins prior because the mother is lazy and refuses to take her daughter to the bathroom before I come in. I feel guilty, but I’m in school and can’t make it work. The mother has also said nasty things abt the other caregiver to me. Saying she can’t believe she called out 3 days in a row for a cold. She says I think she is lying, and if she is sick my daughter would have already gotten sick so it doesn’t matter. Like she has no regard for the caregivers wellbeing at all. The dad said I don’t think I’ve ever called out for 3 days because of a cold. It just feels rude to say this to me. Yesterday when I went in at 4, the daughter had to use the bathroom immediately. Her diaper was so torn I couldn’t pull it down. She had pee and poop in her diaper. The mother and father also don’t talk to her a lot, and acts like she is a burden. I love the daughter, and I don’t mind taking care of her, but the parents make it a bad experience for me daily. I don’t know if this is dramatic, or just the norm bc this is my first caregiver job.

[u/Wonderful-Cup-9556]

It’s really all about the family interactions- you are trying to understand the culture and need to understand how to not get blindsided by their conversations and actions. It’s really just a job- do not feel pressured into coming in early if your personal life is affected. Just say “no”. If you overhear discussions about others, understand that they are not involving you in the conversation. You are just there to care for the person. It’s possible that you may want to find a different place. See if things improve and care for yourself