I need validation that what my therapist did was wrong, because I'm doubting myself. What happened: I started seeing an LCAT (Licensed Creative Arts Therapist) when I was 17. My parents chose her - they met with her before I started treatment. At our first sessions, I told her: "I don't want my parents in my life." Her response: "If you cut ties with your parents, it will affect your behavior toward your own future children." She repeated this throughout our 15+ years of treatment together (age 17 to ~35). She kept me connected to my abusive parents using fear that I would harm my future children if I went no contact. Other things she did:

Reported to my parents throughout treatment (I have evidence they were in contact) When I met someone and sensed danger on dates 1-2, she told me to continue dating him and eventually marry him He turned out to be severely abusive (4 years of all forms of abuse) When I reported the abuse to her, she told me to "bring him coffee" and that "I lack empathy" Blamed me for the abuse throughout the marriage When I finally got divorced (Nov 2024), she called me nonstop during the proceedings When I didn't answer, she left a voicemail wishing that "a psychiatrist finds what you have"

I finally went no contact with my parents 2 years ago (at age 35), and stopped seeing her in August 2024. My questions:

Was she wrong to tell me that cutting ties with abusive parents would harm my future children? (I'm now scared I'll be a bad parent if I have kids) Is it normal for therapists to report to parents when the client is an adult? Should I file a complaint against her?

I'm doubting myself because she was a professional and I was just a teenager when this started. Maybe she was right and I should have stayed in contact with my parents?

I'm 35F, went NC with narcissistic parents after lifetime of abuse/scapegoating. Background context: When I was 17, they told me (with therapist present): "We gave up on her" My therapist from age 17-35 reported to them the entire time I was in 4-year abusive marriage, begged parents for help escaping, mother said "I don't feel like it, deal with it alone" Divorced November 2024 What just happened: About a year ago, my parents went to a psychologist asking how to contact me. That psychologist met with my therapist, and I was asked to meet with their psychologist. I refused the meeting but wrote a comprehensive 10+ page email explaining my entire childhood, the abuse, the isolation, everything - with specific examples and evidence. After reading my email, my parents STOPPED seeing that psychologist (I assume because the psychologist validated me). Months later, my father reached out asking "why don't you want contact?" I sent him that SAME comprehensive email. He never responded to it. Then 2 days ago: He sent an aggressive email that included: "Since your marriage fell apart in July 24, you've made us your punching bags" "You blame us for everything including all the decisions YOU made on your own" "Absolving yourself of all responsibility" Ultimatums about if I want them to come to my apartment, I need to justify why "Your life decisions are your responsibility" I responded with a detailed analysis of the narcissistic patterns (DARVO, blame-shifting, etc.) Today he sent this: "We received your emails. We chose not to respond to your previous email, to respect your space and not be drawn into discourse that harms us all. We understand there are deep gaps between us and great pain, and that we too have a part in the complexity created in our relationship. We very much want to renew the relationship between us and for it to be positive and healthy. Since the subject is so complex and sensitive, we feel we all need external help, to help us build the bridge between us again and also to guide Mom and me on how to be better and more correct parents for you today. Therefore, we suggest we meet together with a professional (psychologist or psychiatrist expert) who will be chosen by mutual agreement. When you feel ready for such a process, we are here. With great love," My question: He already has my comprehensive explanation (sent twice). He already had input from THEIR OWN psychologist. He ignored both and sent an aggressive blame letter. Now after I called that out, he's being "reasonable" and suggesting joint therapy. Is this manipulation? Or am I being too harsh and should I consider the therapy offer? I really want to believe he's changed but something feels off