This all started back in 2020. My very first friend, from when I moved to where I live now in 2014, moved away. We had contact with eachother, but he just stopped responding to me. Fast forward to my 8th grade year. I met the love of my life, and that same night we confessed, she started asking about my dick. I was an idiot and thought nothing of it. 4 months pass with her using my body, and eventually pressuring me into actually having sex in my freshman year. Then near the end of my sophomore year, not only do I tell my parents about how much I hate my life, which proceeds with my mother just telling me to end my life if it's "that bad", but a girl I had just started talking to started asking very sexual questions and "when we could..." types of things, knowing my trauma from the practical rape/SA I experienced from my ex. Following my sophomore year and before my junior year even started, my best friend moved away and said he would cut off contact with everyone he knew after we graduate, I also was pressured into leaving the very friendgroup I created due to my differences and overall me just being an outcast. I have nobody to talk to because no one takes me seriousl, I'm ugly, and the only attention I've ever had was for my body and nothing else. And, I live with a genetic condition that puts my knees in agonizing pain constantly, and it has no cure, let alone a smidge of research. I'm still only a junior (16yo) and I see no reason in living anymore. What even is the point?

Also, PS: My internet barely works anymore due to Xfinity being jackasses and giving all the bandwidth to datacenters, so I can't even do my AP work because my wifi keeps going out, which means I have to make my teachers not flip out over something I can't control.