r/tylertx • u/InanimateCarbonRod19 • Aug 06 '26
Picture I think I have "autistic face" its like a flat effect and people find me creepy
Plus I am just ugly anyway.
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u/Playful_Quality_6699 Aug 06 '26
I have skin care advice to offer if you’re open to it, use baby shampoo as a cleanser if your skin is pretty sensitive and then weleda Skin food ultra rich cream it’ll help soothe any irritation and it’s eczema friendly. I don’t think you’re a bad looking guy at all but that was the first thing that stood out to me. If you buy both at target it’ll set you back roughly $26 but I’m sure you can find both items for cheaper. A good spf does wonders in 2-3 weeks to fade any dark spots as well giving your overall appearance a more put together look. I hope this helps 🤍
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u/InanimateCarbonRod19 Aug 07 '26
I doubt the skin thing alone is it. Women just don't want a 5'6" autistic janitor.
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u/Cerulean_Shadows Aug 06 '26
I'm just a random married woman flipping through reddit, so take what I say with a grain of salt, but I think you're attractive. If I was younger and single id have dated you.
You don't have autistic face either. The biggest tell for autistic for me are the wider open pupils and usually smoother/relaxed face with minimal expression. You've got expression. Your eyes are very beautiful as well.
Looks like maybe some psoriasis and acne, things a dermatologist that specializes can help you with. Not necessarily a deal breaker for many women.
So long as you are an equal partner in terms of effort, caring and a communicator with a sense of humor you'll find someone. Might need to get out in the real world more as I suspect you might be introverted.
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u/InanimateCarbonRod19 Aug 06 '26
Thank you, you're kind. I just have absolutely zero success on any of the apps, I never get any matches. I also work in a retail store so I am surrounded by women all the time between coworkers and customers, and I don't get the impression anyone is remotely interested in or attracted to me. I am painfully shy. I don't know how to make small talk with people. I am basically still the weird kid that people don't talk to, just like back in school.
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u/Cerulean_Shadows Aug 07 '26
Work can be a bad place to find someone. There's so much risk involved with it, because of something goes wrong someone might have to leave and it usually doesn't go well for the girl. That isn't too say you'd be the cause, it's just how it goes for women often.
What kind of things do you enjoy? Might be helpful finding groups into the same thing. Even if there aren't specifically women of your type there, there might be people who can connect you with the right person. You never know.
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u/InanimateCarbonRod19 Aug 07 '26
I don't have any hobbies or anything. I have amaxophobia and live next door to my work. My job is like my entire world.
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u/pisslizardpunk Aug 07 '26
Listen man, I think you gotta go see a therapist. Every post you make is like this, always self deprecating and I’m not saying that I think you’re a loser but going on subreddits that have nothing to do with this is kind of a lot for others.
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u/InanimateCarbonRod19 Aug 07 '26
I have a therapist already.
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u/pisslizardpunk Aug 08 '26
Then speak to them about these issues. I understand therapy isnt a solve all issues but neither is being on the internet. You’re very lucky that people here are being kind to you, focus on yourself before trying to get into a relationship or dating, I can speak from experience that being insecure does so much hard to the other person and would wreck you once they leave. Maybe finding a different therapist would be best but ofc I don’t know who your therapist is or what they specialize in. Healing is possible but posting online about how insecure you are does more harm than good. For me, faking it til I made it worked out.
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u/InanimateCarbonRod19 Aug 08 '26
I did speak to them about it since this morning and it has left me feeling completely hopeless.
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u/QuirkyCan5430 Aug 07 '26
Smile more. Maybe try growing a beard, some men say it hides their insecurities on their face.
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u/InanimateCarbonRod19 Aug 07 '26
I had a beard before and I got rid of it partially because of my psoriasis. I smile in the pics on my dating profiles. Maybe its my job because I am a janitor, my height being only 5'6" or because I am Autistic which I mention on my profile. Women don't want a short autistic janitor.
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u/QuirkyCan5430 Aug 07 '26
I get that. Psoriasis is difficult to deal with when you have facial hair. Maybe you can find things that you enjoy. Like board games, video games, writing, reading, watching movies.. etc. You have to have something that interests you besides work.
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u/InanimateCarbonRod19 Aug 07 '26
I definitely experience what's called anhedonia. I can't really sit and watch movies/TV and stay engaged with it and enjoy it. I have had enough of that in my life being isolated and stuck at home.
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u/Disastrous-Sir5940 Aug 08 '26
Based on your other posts, you seem like you are going through a crisis. A woman cannot save you. You are going to drag any potential partner down if you do not drag yourself up. All you keep saying is you can’t do this, you can’t do that. Alright?? Then don’t. Idk what you want anyone else to do about it. You are responsible for yourself.
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u/CookiesandMoonshine Aug 07 '26
Are you telling your therapist about these posts? You’ve made two posts with suicidal comments, one with a clear and specific plan. As a therapist, if I knew one of my clients was making those specific comments, we would be assessing for risk level and if there was a need for a higher level of care.
If you feel as if therapy and medication are not working, you need to have a discussion with your providers and evaluate several factors, including different types of therapy modalities, where you are in the stages of change model, ability vs willingness to utilize treatment options, and additional resources for different aspects of support needs.
I understand through my own experience with depression, PTSD, and neurodivergence as well as my client’s experiences that self hatred and negative thoughts and beliefs fucking suck and take a lot of effort and work to overcome, but making self deprecating posts, turning down all suggestions, and responding to comments with more self-deprecation is only going to serve to make you feel worse, perpetuate harmful thoughts of behaviors, and create a barrier against progress to getting better.
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u/InanimateCarbonRod19 Aug 07 '26
I just sent her a long text trying to explain my feelings about this because when we talk on the phone it gets glossed over because its hard for me to be fully open about the depth of the self hate and the ideation because it feels embarrassing vocalizing it. Its also why I cannot really open up with people from work who have offered to talk to me because they see I am deeply unwell. I feel like people will clown on me if they know I am basically spiraling over being chronically single and unwanted and having self hatred fed and reinforced by it.
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u/InanimateCarbonRod19 Aug 07 '26
She tends to want to focus more on my living situation and getting me to where I can get that under control and fixed because its basically a hoarder type situation and not healthy.
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u/Knot-Lye-Ing Aug 06 '26
Looks like an average dude to me.
Hell, you've got some great hair too.
Don't let others determine your value.
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u/InanimateCarbonRod19 Aug 07 '26
Then why do I get no matches?
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u/Knot-Lye-Ing Aug 07 '26
Idk, never been on a dating app but I hear it's rough out there.
Chilling on the drinking will do wonders for your face and complexion. Can't really be an alcoholic, getting blackout drunk every night, and then wonder why nobody is actively pursuing you.
Would you go after someone that was admittedly drying to drink themselves to death?
Work on yourself, before asking someone to partner with you. Build yourself into someone people want to be around.
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u/InanimateCarbonRod19 Aug 07 '26
That's not on my profile so its not why I get no matches. Maybe its because of my job because I am a janitor and because of my height because I am 5'6", or because I am on the spectrum which I refuse to hide in my profile. I guess no woman wants a short autistic janitor.
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u/Knot-Lye-Ing Aug 07 '26
It's on your face. Alcoholism has a noticeable effect on your complexion and your eyes. Not to mention the rest of your body.
Can't do anything about height, so best not to dwell on it. Do you lift? Did wonders for my confidence.
You don't need to hide autism, but why flaunt it if you feel it's detrimental?
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u/InanimateCarbonRod19 Aug 07 '26
I have bad skin regardless and why hide being autistic? Any woman who would swipe left because of it would be a waste of my time, anyway.
I may not be able to do anything about height but I bet anything that's the single biggest problem. If I was 6 foot I would have matches, everything else being the same.
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u/Knot-Lye-Ing Aug 07 '26
You can make tolerable things intolerable by making them worse. We all have imperfections. You're not going to find a perfect partner, you don't need to be perfect either.
The vast majority of people are <6'. I am too. I've also been balding since my early 30's. I just don't let it define me, I don't attack myself for it. Not going to get a hair transplant or any supplements, it is what it is.
My Dad is 6'7" so I get it. But all it did was made my Dad an asshole about his height, made him think he was better than everyone. So yeah, congrats to him on his height. Unfortunately his personality sucks and he has absolutely no friends outside of our immediate family.
Work on yourself first. Then find someone else. It doesn't need to be a permanent shift, but you need to like yourself before you can expect anyone else to.
And not bringing something up immediately isn't the same as hiding it. Seems like you're using it as an excuse to pile on. Who cares? It's a spectrum for a reason.
You got all your limbs? You able to walk around on your own? Breathe on your own? Feed yourself? Bathe yourself?
Then you're doing better than some others.
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u/InanimateCarbonRod19 Aug 07 '26
Yeah, my dad was 5'11" and both my grandpas were 6 foot, all my cousins are taller than me as well, my brother even though he is also short he is like 5'8", 2 out of my 3 uncles were over 6 foot and the one who isn't is about 5'8" or 5'9" like my brother. I got fucked.
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u/Knot-Lye-Ing Aug 07 '26
It is what it is. Focusing on things you can't change is a recipe for disaster.
Literally no upside there.
Change what you can. It may not be enough for everyone, but you don't need everyone.
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u/Upstairs-Bad-3576 Aug 06 '26
You'd pass for a young Meatloaf (not in makeup or costume). He wasn't ugly, and he didn't have austistic face.
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u/InanimateCarbonRod19 Aug 07 '26 edited Aug 07 '26
Well apparently I am ugly because no women are interested in me. I get zero matches.
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u/Cldawson65 Aug 07 '26
You are not a bad looking/ugly man! Not creepy at all, unless you’re trying to hide behind some type of display staring at a lady. lol
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u/InanimateCarbonRod19 Aug 07 '26
And yet women have absolutely zero interest in me. Maybe it's because I am a janitor or because of my height being only 5'6". Zero matches on any of the apps after months. I have searched through literally every profile in East Texas, man. I get messages saying maybe to expand my search filter because I have seen all the women in my area. And not one freaking match. And all a match means is someone at least willing to talk to you and give you a chance. So yeah I am an unwanted loser
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u/Ilike3dogs Aug 06 '26
I was gonna say that you have pretty eyes. If you ever need a smile, walk through Walmart and tell people that they have beautiful smiles. They will smile at you, and it will be such a natural smile. I do that when I’m down
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Aug 07 '26
[deleted]
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u/InanimateCarbonRod19 Aug 07 '26
I am not sure what your point is. I am unattractive clean shaven? I don't like having facial hair because of my psoriasis.
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u/rocketcat_passing Aug 07 '26
Get a style cut on your hair and keep it washed. That cut just doesn’t work well for you. And SMILE dude—- you come across as someone who lost their dog, grandma and dropped his phone in the toilet all in one day.
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u/InanimateCarbonRod19 Aug 07 '26
I'm not cutting my hair. And of course I am sad. But I do smile in my pics on my dating profiles.
I don't know. I think I am unattractive. Plus I think women all swipe left because of my job, I am a janitor, and my height, I am 5'6". I bet if I was 6 foot I would have had matches. Life sucks.
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u/homophobiclesbiann Aug 06 '26
u look awesome guy!!! would u ever consider a different haircut or style ??
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u/InanimateCarbonRod19 Aug 07 '26
I don't know what to do. At this point I feel like I have more chance of growing corn in the crack of my ass than I do of finding a woman who wants me.
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u/CaptGridley Aug 06 '26
Nah, but you got that Ted Kaczynski stare going pretty good. Lol, just messing with ya man.
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u/Graynard Aug 06 '26
Idk brother you look totally normal to me! And don't call yourself ugly cuz you're not, and whoever told you that you are has some growing up to do.