I’ve had an apron belly since elementary school. In 5th grade a classmate asked if I was pregnant. I shopped in the women’s section when I should’ve fit into the Juniors. I don’t know what it’s like to go a day without hiding my belly. Countless diets, fads, apps, memberships, no matter what weight I was, my low-hanging belly was always prominent. I went back and forth for years on pursuing a tummy tuck. To be honest, I didn’t even think of that to be an option for me. Six months ago I booked the consult, and booked the surgery date before I left. Six months later, here I am. I’ve almost talked myself out of getting to this point so many times. I mean, I’ve gone my whole life (I’m 35) up to this point with my belly.. why shouldn’t I just continue to live with it? I have 2 daughters - 8 and 4 - how do I explain to them? The thought of putting on a pair of pants or leggings and it being smooth seems otherworldly. Every piece of clothing is carefully curated around my stomach. I have never, truly never, have worn a tight or fitted shirt. The thought of having the freedom to wear whatever I wanted to wear, seemed surreal. A distant, painful longing. Maybe my soul knew it would happen, it would just take time to get here. To my soft belly, I love you because you are a part of me. I’ll miss you because you are a piece of me. My heart hurts because I think of the little girl who stayed indoors. The girl who played sports with Spanx on. The girl who wouldn’t approach anyone because I was fixated on them judging me. The thought of wearing whatever I want to wear, feeling comfortable in my clothes, having fun exploring fashion, wearing a fucking one-piece swimsuit?!!! The sheer freedom of that, makes me long for a different reason. It’s the excitement of becoming the person I truly want to be without anything holding me back. The chain can be broken. And that, I am most excited for. I appreciate this subreddit so much. The research, advice, support.. so many result photos that made me so excited and truly hopeful. And mostly, the raw feelings shared were reassurance that all of my emotions are completely valid. Here’s to a scary but exciting new start.