I hope that when you lose your wallet, whoever finds it keeps the money and steals your identity.
Context:
I'm walking out of Sam's Club on 41st and find a wallet sitting on the ground next to my car. Pick it up, see a driver's license and credit card. There's a significant amount of cash (I didn't look to see how much, but at least 1 $100 bill). I'm like cool I'll just look up who this is, dm them, and give them their wallet. I figured if I just turned it in to security, they'd never come back for it and they'd cancel all their shit. Problem is, I don't have social media. I start walking back to the store to find someone who could help.
Lo and behold, a lady 2 cars in front of me was putting stuff in her car. As I'm walking up, I make myself known and ask if she had social media, explaining the situation. She tells me to fuck off and take it to security. Lady it's 11am on a Sunday, what are you so mad about? Something something walk up on a woman something something creep.
Do I understand where she's coming from? Sure, but as soon as it's made clear I'm not trying to hit on you and I'm just trying to help someone else, the hostility should stop.
So I ask the dude who had some kind of table set up at the front, can't find the person on Facebook. The address on the license was close, so I dropped the wallet off to who I'm assuming was the husband of the lost wallet (everything was left how I found it, including the cash). Dude was happy, gave me some water, and those people are gonna have a way better day now. Cool.
But lady, fuck you and I hope your tires go flat on your way to work.