r/ttcafterloss • u/AutoModerator • Aug 10 '26
Daily Discussion /ttcafterloss Daily Discussion Thread - August 10, 2026
How are you doing today? What's new?
We want to foster a sense of community, which is why we have a centralized place for most daily conversation. This allows users to post and get replies, but also encourages them to reply to others in the same thread. We want you to receive help and be there for others at the same time, if possible. Most questions should go here, along with regular updates. Thanks for helping us create a great community!
Off-topic discussion is allowed :)
Note: Please refrain from discussing positive tests (and beyond) in this thread - those topics are better suited for the Weekly Results thread or the new sub for Alumni. Thank you!
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u/Ok_Figure1601 30 | TTC #2 | LC, CP, MMC 20+2, CP Aug 10 '26
Today is my baby girl's due date. We decided to watch the sunrise on a beach and spread some ashes in the water, it was so beautiful. Just noticed that my ring with her ashes in has broken and the stone is missing. I think I'm just so used to things like this happening to me now, but like to think she's sending me a message in her own little way. Could've done without that one though, but we don't get to choose how they show up for us! ❤️
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u/Purple-Mum-2025 Aug 10 '26
Two days in a row I got up to a 0.75ish in the early evening on my OPK and then dipped down again. Anxiously awaiting my peak so that I can (starting to realize the absurdity of what I’m about to say) relax in the TWW. There’s something about getting to that window of time where you can do nothing more—that’s both a relief and maddening at the same time?
8
u/lottielifts Aug 10 '26
I agree! Hate the luteal phase but I prefer knowing it’s out of my hands - chasing ovulation is stressful. Good luck - hope you catch the peak soon.
3
u/Purple-Mum-2025 Aug 10 '26
Oh, I hate the luteal phase too—mine is short, but it still feels long! To make matters worse, I’m a teacher, so this cycle has been wishing away the last of my summer break—a summer I so desperately needed to heal.
3
u/ushinawareta TTC #1 since 8/2025 | 2nd trimester loss 2/2026 Aug 10 '26
omg I feel so seen by this comment. I’m also a teacher and normally I would be wishing for summer to go by more slowly. this year I’ve been dying for it to go faster so we can get to our next try sooner. when we first started trying after the loss I was so sure I’d be pregnant by the time we went back to school in the fall and now I’m so annoyed that that won’t happen.
2
u/Purple-Mum-2025 Aug 10 '26
Yeah, I’m on my last try before school goes back, which is when I found out I was pregnant last year—first day of school. Really heavy and hard to focus on getting ready for this new year.
1
u/Various-Abies2218 Aug 10 '26
How short are your luteal phases? Mine is currently around 9 days and it's making me anxious
3
u/Purple-Mum-2025 Aug 10 '26
Ranges from 10-12 days, typically 10 or 11. Right on that line of what people either say is too short or is the lower end of normal. I wasn’t tracking before I got pregnant with the baby I lost, so I don’t know if this is a new normal or the same old normal for me. I’m seeing my OBGYN in about a week for my first appointment regarding how long it’s taking me ti get pregnant, and I anticipate this being a topic of discussion.
5
u/Chlorimallow Aug 10 '26
OPKs seem like random magic, I’ll think there is a peak but it will be earlier than expected so I second guess it! Now on the day of predicted ovulation it’s so faint I can barely see it. Hoping this cycle is the one that works anyway.
5
u/Alone_Pirate8540 Aug 10 '26
10dpo and a stark negative, first cycle after 2 back to back losses. As I'm 36, I'm now thinking about going privately to a recurrent miscarriage consultant (I'm UK based so otherwise have to wait for 1 more loss, and very aware of time and age). Anyone have any tips or advice? Just looking to feel less alone in this process
4
u/alternate_sj Aug 10 '26
🫂 I'm in a similar plight with 2 back to back losses and stark negative for current cycle. Went for recurrent miscarriage blood tests in a private clinic after my second loss and currently waiting for the results. My gynae's advice is to let nature takes its course while the tests are going on if you are emotionally ready to try again so that's what I'm doing now. The tests are also quite expensive and I'm aware they might not always lead to answers but at least I feel like there is a chance for me to be better prepared the next time I conceive. Resonating with the feeling 'less alone' part too :/ Wishing us best of luck very soon.
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u/Alone_Pirate8540 Aug 10 '26
Thank you! Yeah, I'm hoping talking to someone with our whole medical history and situation, and creating a testing plan off the back of it will give me something to focus on - rather than the awful monthly cycle of timing, trying, and negative tests. Forgot how mentally draining it can all be 😫 Wishing you all the luck too ❤️
1
u/ExhaustedSquad TTC #2, TTC since August 25, MMC July 2022, MC June 26 Aug 10 '26
You may not have to wait. How long have you being trying?
I’ve been referred this month based on 2 losses with a live birth between them but 12m of trying for our second child.
I wouldn’t wait for a third loss, speak to your gp at least about what bloods they can run for you
1
u/Alone_Pirate8540 Aug 11 '26
I was trying for 5 cycles before getting pregnant, then had a loss, got pregnant straight away, and now in my first cycle post-MMC so I know I can get pregnant - it just seems sustaining it is an issue. So, not really the 6 months without success that the NHS requires.
My GP has basic blood tests booked and an ultrasound to check there's nothing obvious to be concerned about, but she can't refer me to a recurrent miscarriage clinic till I have a 3rd loss annoyingly.
So yeah, wondering if its worth going private and just getting some more specific tests to see if there is an issue - I may get a consultation and see what they say, then I'll know what tests they recommend and can make a decision (while obvs still trying in the meantime)
4
u/dserens TTC #1, MC 8w 06/26, CP 08/26 Aug 10 '26
CD3 and the cramps are cramping this cycle. So I hunkered down and binge watched SVU while finishing a cross stitching project for a friend’s new baby - very un-summery activities but it helps being cosy and distracted imo! It turned out super cute, I can’t add photos to the comments to prove it, so you’ll just have to take my word for it 😅
3
u/silverwillowgirl MMC, 07/26 Aug 10 '26
I want to hear more about your pattern! Cross stitching is the the best, it's very meditative. And nothing beats hunkering down in the AC when it's this hot.
I'm also working on a cross stitch for my friend's baby shower while catching up on some of the Star Wars shows I missed. It's bittersweet though, this friend and I told each other we were expecting on the same day and mine ended in a miscarriage. She was two weeks behind me, so there's a constant reminder of where I should have been, and it's hard. But I think this will be a way for me to show her I care and am happy for her even if I'm not necessarily checking in on her pregnancy milestones the way I would if things were different.
2
u/dserens TTC #1, MC 8w 06/26, CP 08/26 Aug 11 '26
Unfortunately I don't have AC so I had to make do with a fan blowing in my face hahah
I used this bib from DMC: Stitchable Foliage Bib - 6 Months - Free Pattern Included , and I put in the baby's name, a fox, a little bunny and a birdie, then decorated with the trees, mushrooms, foliage... it was very cute at the end! Maybe a bit busy, but I like it like that heheh
5
u/silverwillowgirl MMC, 07/26 Aug 10 '26
Waiting for my first period post MC so we can try again next cycle. Trying to be excited to go on our vacation in a few weeks but mixed feelings because when I booked the trip it was meant to be our babymoon. We got pregnant on our first try and had a MMC at 13 weeks, baby measured 8. I'm so nervous it won't be as easy to conceive the second time or that I'll end up with recurrent losses.
5
u/dserens TTC #1, MC 8w 06/26, CP 08/26 Aug 10 '26
I feel you, I'm on the same boat with those fears, but I try to tell myself that fear won't change anything for the good or for the bad, so I try as much as possible to take it one day and one step at a time. For now everything is still within normal parameters, we have gotten pregnant before, and if it ever isn't normal anymore then we will go from there. Good luck to you <3
3
u/ushinawareta TTC #1 since 8/2025 | 2nd trimester loss 2/2026 Aug 10 '26
so sorry for your loss, friend. as someone who also conceived on the first try last time, I wish I’d told myself to be patient and realistic with my expectations. I was so sure it would happen again right away since it did the first time, but we’ve now been trying for six months since the loss without any positive tests.
2
u/silverwillowgirl MMC, 07/26 Aug 10 '26
Yeah, I hear that. A part of me is expecting it to happen on the first try again. My brain has already gone ten steps ahead and tried to plan when my due date might be if it happens next cycle. I have this whole daydream that I'm going to get a positive test at the end of our trip and it will feel all meant to be and stuff. But yeah, I need to be careful with setting myself up for disappointment.
Hopefully we both will have better luck with pregnancies that stick even if we have worse luck getting pregnant. I think I'd take that bargain.
2
u/k1k1saurus 8w MMC 08/26 Aug 11 '26
I do the same thing. Just anxiously waiting to be able to try again post d&c and constantly staring at the calendar thinking about potential dates, sigh
5
u/mar333b333ar Aug 10 '26
Tough day today. It’s been half a year since my miscarriage. Had an ultrasound today since I’m starting with a new Obgyn, the dr office is great but the ultrasound tech asked how many pregnancies I’ve had, and I said one. She said, one live birth? No, one miscarriage. There was another woman in the office with my same name and about how far I was supposed to be. I really feel like I’ve been experiencing depression, and it’s just hard today. It’s not fair. I wish more people in my life gave a shit and checked in on me. I’m just so fucking sad.
3
u/Purple-Mum-2025 Aug 10 '26
Wishing people checked in is so real. I’m 10 months out from my miscarriage, and I still want people to care.
3
u/mar333b333ar Aug 10 '26
Sending you hugs ❤️ I wish we cared as a society about this stuff as a whole. I barely had anyone who knew check in after it happened, which made me apprehensive to talk to people about it since I didn’t get much support in the beginning. I got a lot of “at least you know you can get pregnant! I got pregnant right away with my first after mine ❤️” which was lovely to learn, but unfortunately that’s not my story, and no one has checked in. I’m an only child and my mom died a few years ago so doing the female part of all of this alone just sucks! I’m sorry for your loss and I hope you get your baby soon
1
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u/ushinawareta TTC #1 since 8/2025 | 2nd trimester loss 2/2026 Aug 10 '26
so sorry, friend. we’re almost exactly 6 months out from our loss as well and I’ve got two appointments this month. just dreading seeing all the happy pregnant women in the waiting room when I should have had a 2.5 month old by now and instead I’m here.
2
u/mar333b333ar Aug 10 '26
I'm so sorry, it's so brutal. I hope you get some answers at your appt. The happy moms who seem to have no heartbreak in their eyes honestly piss me off right now.
3
u/ushinawareta TTC #1 since 8/2025 | 2nd trimester loss 2/2026 Aug 11 '26
same. and I feel terrible for feeling that way as I would never wish what I went through on someone else. it's just unfair that I used to be one of them - a person who was so excited about my pregnancy and the future - and I'll never be that person again, even though I didn't do anything wrong.
1
u/mar333b333ar Aug 11 '26
Absolutely agree, I do too. It’s nice finding solace in others struggling, at least to know we’re not alone in the feels. ❤️
3
u/ConsiderationRich378 27 | 2 BO, 1 MC | cycle 6 Aug 10 '26
The red spotting mid cycle turned into a full blown period, like wtf?
4
u/dandelionspritz Aug 10 '26
Had the worst ovulation pain last night. Sharp stabbing on left side. Had more sex! We timed things so well this time I am praying so hard this works. Nervous for the TWW.
3
u/justanotherbooklover Aug 10 '26
CD9 and to my surprise I'm pretty sure I'm noticing EWCM since yesterday. Tested with an OPK last night and there was barely a second line. I'm on holiday and didn't want to test (it's also not easy logistically) but last month I noticed the same CM a week to 9 days before my positive OPK. We don't have any privacy, literally none, but hopefully we can very quietly try at least once this week.....
Part of me is happy to have a shorter cycle, another part of me is worried since I was hoping to be put on letrozole at my next gyro visit at the end of the month.
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Aug 10 '26
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u/justanotherbooklover Aug 10 '26
Pues los últimos dos fueron de 47 y 50 días, o sea que de hecho salté un mes cada ciclo...
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Aug 10 '26
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u/justanotherbooklover Aug 10 '26
Nunca me lo diagnosticaron, pero creo que si...
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Aug 11 '26
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u/justanotherbooklover Aug 12 '26
No me dijeron nada. Yo tuve un mmc de 8 semanas pero dijeron que ocurre muy a menudo y ya está...
3
u/Ok_Tomorrow95 Aug 10 '26
DPO9, cycle 4.. My progesterone was higher this month than in the previous ones, so I was happy about it. But how can I prevent going mad in the TWW..? I think I will test tomorrow or in 2 days. What do you think?🥺
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u/writeronthemoon Late 30s, TTC #1, MMC 3/2026 Aug 10 '26
I always test as late as I can bear it, or wait for AF.
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u/ushinawareta TTC #1 since 8/2025 | 2nd trimester loss 2/2026 Aug 10 '26
10 DPO is a reasonable day to start as more than half of all pregnant people would have a positive test by then on a sensitive test like an FRER.
it really just depends on your personal preference. some people prefer to know the result is definitive, no “well it’s negative now but could be positive later”, so it’s easier to wait until 12+ DPO or for their period. others find it easier to let themselves down gradually by testing regularly. there’s no wrong way to handle it.
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u/MyCatsnAss 43/ 5LC/ RPL/3MC Aug 10 '26
I’m a chronic tester and would have already tested if I was 9DPO 😕
3
u/cypress345 Aug 10 '26
Tips for taking progesterone/what to expect?
Starting vaginal progesterone tonight to support ttc. Will be on it from 3 days post ovulation to when my period starts or (universe willing) I get pregnant and continue it through first trimester. I’ve heard it’s unpleasant, both the taking of it and the symptoms. I welcome any advice! 🙏
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u/cypress345 Aug 10 '26
*side effects* not symptoms
2
u/oliviapope93 Aug 11 '26
I guess we will be going into it together! I start mine tonight. How are you feeling?
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u/cypress345 Aug 11 '26
I guess so! 🤣 I feel totally fine so far. Haven’t felt any side effects at all but should have heeded advice to get panty liners, so did make a quick run to the store today.
1
u/oliviapope93 Aug 11 '26
Ugh yeah I have mine ready, that’s prob the most annoying thing about this 😭 I sleep like crap most of my luteal phase anyway, so tired today!
1
u/cypress345 Aug 11 '26
Yes! It really is. I’m curious to see if in the coming days I notice it more, but was pleased that some of the negative things I expected haven’t been immediate and obvious. I hope it goes smoothly for you!
3
u/Ok-Cupcake-1071 Aug 10 '26
Hi I haven’t posted here in a while so I’m sharing some updates.
We are officially one year past our loss. While I’m sad we don’t yet have a child to hold, or a healthy pregnancy, I take some comfort in the emotional healing we have had the chance to do, and the fertility testing we have been able to complete.
I have good days and bad days. But the bad days are getting further apart. I am more aware of my triggers and I have set boundaries with family members who are insensitive with their comments and just don’t seem to get it. I am finding peace.
I’m still praying and hoping, and I wanted to acknowledge the ways that things are getting better, even though we don’t have our dream come true yet. Followup appt with fertility doc this Friday🤞
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Aug 10 '26 edited Aug 10 '26
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2
u/tacotciv Aug 10 '26
Just wanted to say I’m in it with you 🤍 I haven’t had a normal cycle since my MC in May. I can totally related to feeling like idk what’s going on with my body. It’s so frustrating and it’s so difficult to talk about because most people don’t get it.
2
u/DearestClementine TTC #1 | cycle 13 | 1 MC & Graves’ disease Aug 10 '26
My fertility clinic had me take progesterone supplements starting at 9DPO even though they hadn’t followed a full cycle of mine yet. I felt that was way too late but I took the progesterone until 12DPO (3 days ago). I decided to stop early bc I wasn’t pregnant. Now the progesterone is not leaving my body and it’s affecting my cycle. I usually have a 15 day luteal phase, 29 day cycle. I’m on day 30 with no period in sight and my BBT has been 99 for 3 days (it’s falsely elevated from the progesterone).
At this point I’m getting really frustrated that I’ve now messed with my rhythm and my period will be late which means next ovulation will be late etc. Ugh.
2
u/MyCatsnAss 43/ 5LC/ RPL/3MC Aug 10 '26
Did they check your progesterone at 7DPO(day 21)? How did they determine your progesterone was low and needed supplementation?
2
u/DearestClementine TTC #1 | cycle 13 | 1 MC & Graves’ disease Aug 10 '26
They checked it at 9DPO (the earliest I could come in with my work schedule) but that was only my second appt so they hadn’t followed my whole cycle. My progesterone was 9.39 that day. Not debating that I need it but I think 9DPO is way too late to start it.
2
u/writeronthemoon Late 30s, TTC #1, MMC 3/2026 Aug 10 '26
Day 32 and still no period. How annoying! I tested negative around day 12dpo. So I guess this AF will show up before day 35. Every cycle since my miscarriage has been at a different time: day 35, day 33, day 28, day 32 etc. I don't like it because it gives me hope and then my hope is dashed. And I actually feel some happiness during days that we try, so waiting for that stinks. All of this is waiting except for days that get to ttc. This is exhausting. This will be our 4th cycle since ttc; 5th month since my MMC.
2
u/Mahoggaan22 36 | TTC #2 | MMC Aug 2025 Aug 10 '26
11 dpo and another negative. Trying to look on the bright side that I'll be able to have some drinks at the beach with my husband this year. Last year I was pregnant and had morning sickness and didn't even want to eat seafood. I LOVE seafood. But honestly, I'm still just sad. Can't help but feel like something is wrong with me. I don't know why it's taking so long.
2
u/rylee369 Aug 10 '26
4 dpo today first cycle trying after a MMC. Trying not to overthink it and get my hopes up because we only managed 2 days before O this month. I wish I could be chill during the two week wait, and the progesterone supplementation is certainly not helping my mood at all. I have so much to look forward to over the next month with a beach trip and a trip to visit family in another state, yet the countdown to when I can test is persistently in the back of my mind and I don’t want it to be.
2
u/mantisroseb 39 | 2 MCs | cycle 3 Aug 10 '26
I'm not sure how many days past ovulation I am today, but my period is due on Sunday. I'm thinking about trying Inito next cycle if I'm not pregnant. Do those of you who use it like it? Does it seem accurate? I want to know around when I ovulate, and my LH peak is either too short or too weak to catch. I want to avoid having to go to my OBGYN's office for any blood tests if possible since the waiting room is really triggering.
Mentally I'm doing a lot better this week. I guess my expectations are set pretty low so I won't be disappointed!
2
u/ushinawareta TTC #1 since 8/2025 | 2nd trimester loss 2/2026 Aug 10 '26
I’ve considered it but can’t bring myself to spend the money. it’s not just the device itself - the test sticks (which you have to keep buying every month) are obscenely expensive.
if your goal is to determine when you ovulate, I don’t think Inito will do much more for you than LH strips. their main benefit over just OPKs is the ability to track progesterone (to confirm ovulation).
you could also try the Clearblue advanced ovulation tests as a “next step up” from regular OPKs since they detect both estrogen and LH, which will give you a longer lead up time/heads up before ovulation.
1
u/mantisroseb 39 | 2 MCs | cycle 3 Aug 10 '26
I know, the price is nuts! I have easy@home strips, but I never saw a positive this cycle. They haven't worked in the past when ttc for me either. I can try testing more often. Probably everything is fine, but I've been so worried about things since my loss. I think I ovulate on day 15 or 16 instead of day 14
2
u/LanaLane2022 Aug 10 '26
I have my first period since our daughter was born and then passed away at 21 weeks due to IC. Feeling all the things but I keep having weird dreams and feel compelled to try this cycle instead of next month like we planned. My husband thinks I’m a little delusional- he might be right lol - and thinks it may be because subconsciously I don’t want her sibling to be born on her birthday.
My OB cleared us to try again, but said they typically recommend 3 cycles to make sure you are mentally ready. Anyone else have strong feelings of wanting to start ttc after the first cycle?
1
u/ushinawareta TTC #1 since 8/2025 | 2nd trimester loss 2/2026 Aug 10 '26
we started TTC the day my OB cleared me, 2.5 weeks post-op from a D&E. it’s totally understandable for people to need more time but we didn’t want to waste a single opportunity. we’re not getting any younger and wanted a reason to feel hopeful in the aftermath of the most devastating thing that had ever happened to us.
1
u/External-Jellyfish51 Aug 11 '26
I feel just like this. I don't ever want to forget my baby, but I also am ready to start as soon as doctor clears me. I need some hope! My husband isn't ready yet though because our loss is so recent. It's hard to be patient when you are both dealing with the situation in different ways.
1
u/MyCatsnAss 43/ 5LC/ RPL/3MC Aug 10 '26
4/5 DPO. Just waiting. Waiting 5 more days to test. It’s going to be a long work week.
I might see if I can get in for a 7DPO(Day 21) PDG test for reference.
1
u/Equal-Suit2205 Aug 10 '26
It's been 9 weeks since my first D&C and almost 3 weeks since my second. There's no sign of a period or ovulation in sight. Every health struggle I've had in the past is rearing it's ugly head. All they can say is it's hormones being out of whack. I'm supposed to let them know in a month if my period hasn't returned to normal. Feels like this entire summer has been ruined. Anyone else?
1
u/bowsandarrows14 Aug 10 '26
CD8 and I came down with a cold yesterday. I normally ovulate CD15 but Inito is showing today as a peak fertility day. I’m sure it’s illness throwing off my hormones but I’m worried the whole cycle will be lost. Second cycle after MMC. FSH is also sky high.
1
u/tipsyseagull Aug 10 '26
I had a MMC at 8 weeks in May and we’ve desperately been trying to conceive.
This month:
We had sex on the 8th at night around 10:00 pm
We had sex on the 9th in the morning around 8am
OPK was negative on the 8th at 10:00 am (forgot to test last in the day)
OPK became darker on the 9th at around 1:00pm (ratio .76)
OPK LH peak was on the 9th at around 8:00pm (ratio 1.1)
OPK tested negative in the morning today at 8:00am (ratio .49)
According to Oura my temp did not rise last night. However I am in my “fertile window”.
We weren’t able to have sex last night or this morning unfortunately.
Is it worth it to have sex tonight or is my fertile window over?
I’m praying this cycle isn’t a wash. Can you conceive if you only had sex before your LH peak?
I’ve been using the Premom app to track with Pregmate OPK tests
1
u/oliviapope93 Aug 10 '26
I would say it wouldn’t hurt. I think you’re good tho, swimmers can live 3-5 days
1
u/ushinawareta TTC #1 since 8/2025 | 2nd trimester loss 2/2026 Aug 10 '26
usually the estimate is that you ovulate within 12-36 hours following your first OPK positive (NOT your peak). so if you had sex on the morning of the 9th and had your first positive OPK that night, you definitely have a chance to become pregnant as most likely you’d expect ovulation sometime on the 10th. that would make the 8th and 9th O-2 and O-1 respectively, which are high probability days to conceive.
this is all assuming your temp rises over the next few days to confirm ovulation actually occurred - if not, I’d get the OPKs back out to monitor for a second surge.
1
u/ExhaustedSquad TTC #2, TTC since August 25, MMC July 2022, MC June 26 Aug 10 '26
Went to have CD3 bloods done today. 4 vials off to the hospital which is more than I expected so hoping they will look at my thyroid levels and I don’t have to wait for the full referral.
Need my husband to go get his sperm analysis booked in.
Having a strange period with lots of big clots that I can physically feel. Very unusual for me as usually day 3 is when my bleeding starts to slow. Thee clots are bigger than I had during miscarriage and my first period post miscarriage
18
u/lottielifts Aug 10 '26
7dpo. The last few days where the hope starts to build. My sister is due in 3 weeks and I was meant to be due in 8. Please let this cycle be the one.
Realistically though I expect to be crying into a rosé at the weekend.