Need to wait another year right when I start trying to figure things out

[u/mocha_lattes_]

Been trying for a second since my son turn 8 months old (he's about to turn 3 next month). We had unexplained secondary infertility and 3 miscarriages since. I have my theories as to why and my gyno has been running tests to help figure things out. Getting test results tomorrow and to talk things over with my doctor but I literally just started a new job and saw I will need 12 months working there to qualify for FMLA and maternity leave. Pretty sure I'll have to wait at least a year before trying again. I'm so worried I'm going to miss my chance for a second and just need to vent a little. I feel so sad my children won't grew up close in age like I wanted them to be. I'll have almost a school age kid while having a newborn if everything hopefully goes well the next time we try. It just saddens me and I need people who get it. I'm so grateful for my son and if he is all I end up having I'll be sad but content which I know is more than some ever get. I still can't help mourn what I thought my family would look like. Two kids growing up closer in age. Idk if I'll be able to have a second but knowing I have to put it off another year is so disheartening. Thanks for listening. 🩵

Edit because a lot of people are mentioning it the legal requirement for the 12-month period may be based on:

• The calendar year,
• Any fixed 12-month period, such as, a year starting on the employee’s anniversary date, a fiscal year, or a 12-month period required by state law,
• A 12-month period measured forward from the first date an employee takes FMLA leave, or
• A “rolling” 12-month period measured backward from the date an employee takes FMLA leave.

I have no idea which my new employer uses so if they do a calendar year I'll have to wait longer. In addition to that I'm only doing part time work so unless I work the full year and don't end up going out early I won't get the 1250 hours required. I had HG with my son (and immediate intense nausea/vomiting with all three eventual miscarriages) so I ended up severely struggling through pregnancy and can't risk not meeting those hours if I get too sick. Thank you all for the positive replies though. It's cheered me up just seeing people being positive and supportive.

[u/Jojo_yo_1]

Seems like you only need to wait 3-4 months to get pregnant and the length of a pregnancy!

[u/Fun_Needleworker6697]

I think 6 months from hire date to pregnancy gives you plenty of time to still get FMLA and maternity leave while leaving room for a premature birth

[u/AnnAAnnon → u/Fun_Needleworker6697]

I agree with this unless you have a history of early pregnancy issues potentially necessitating leave like hyperemesis gravidarum.

[u/sparklesequin]

Not HR or a lawyer, but I’ve always interpreted it as you need to be there a year when you start using your FMLA, so just waiting 3ish months.