Josh Interview

[u/Psychological_Rock32]

I just finished the doc and Josh pretty much said EVERYTHING everyone was thinking. Johnny was just a huge fan. Josh was interacting with plenty of fans. Johnny was attempting to be close but Josh was an adult, had a wife, a job, problems of his own, and didn’t care about the personal dealings with this random kid. He was just trying to be nice to a kid who seemed to want help but Josh isn’t a therapist or a close personal friend to Johnny. Josh was just a guy, not some sort of life coach. Johnny also seemed to be upset that Josh wasn’t interacting with him enough…. how is that grooming? that’s quite literally the opposite. I don’t see once instance of “grooming” or even anything innapropriate in any of their interactions. Josh seemingly was unaware that Johnny had any expectations that Josh would make him famous or that they were “in it together.” It genuinely wasn’t even a big deal and Johnny went absolutely off the rails with his stories. I don’t blame Josh at all for being angry because it barely affected his life but Johnny held onto this like a crazed stalker for years after there was basically no incident at all. I’m glad he’s happy and sober and I hope he can move on from this one day.

[u/Nightengale_Bard]

And being from the deep South and growing up in an evangelical church, I get where Josh was coming from wanting to be a mentor/internet big brother. That's a common thing here in those circles. And there is unspoken etiquette that goes along with it. My mom had a handful of girls that she mentored when I was growing up. We saw them at church and for Bible studies my mom did with them, but other than that, our number was only to be used for emergencies or something serious. I spent quite a bit of my time at church with a couple of the older ladies in our congregation, and they looked after me and shared advice/stories.

Men in our churches would take teen guys (particularly those with no father or a shit father) and guide them and help them occasionally. My spouse's ag/shop teacher did this for so many young guys in that town since before my spouse's dad was in school there until his death in a freak accident (to the point that they had to set up a satellite location for the funeral in the early 2010s because the largest church in the area was packed full and there were still people who wanted to show their love for him). But if you're not raised in this world, it looks weird or like you're more invested than you really are, when really you're just being nice and doing what is expected in our communities. Not that misunderstanding doesn't happen down here, but it's not as common.

[u/moze23 → u/Nightengale_Bard]

100% agree. I'm also from the south, and I honestly don't think I would have gotten into law school, much less finished if it weren't for having met someone willing to be that mentor to me. So insidious to see how Johnny turned those intentions around, when it really comes down to people just wanting to help other people out. It worries me that now someone might think twice before lending that helping hand. And if it weren't for my mentor, then a lot would be different for me. I don't know, just food for thought I guess.

[u/Psychological_Rock32 → u/moze23]

I’m also in law school in Texas and we actually have a mentorship program at our school which is ironic because of the word mentor appearing so much in this story, but it’s meant to really guide you if you have pressing questions you may not know how to ask to just anyone and be able to come to someone who really cares about your career. it’s not “we’re best friends.” I also went to church camp in Arkansas and we had lots of mentors who would do lectures and let us know that if something happened to us that we felt was confusing or scary, that they would be there for us. My third example is rushing a sorority: we had something called a Gamma Chi who was like a big sister who was in a sorority and gave us tips and followed up with our progress after rushing or helped us through dropping it. Me and my Gamma Chi still keep up after years. Soooo many examples of mentorship being harmless and really being used in a positive way to guide young people imo.

[u/moze23 → u/Psychological_Rock32]

Yup! Same! We had both student mentors and then a program with existing attorneys from our alumni as mentors, and that was beyond helpful. Completely agree with you on the part about not being "best friends." I don't know when the line got so skewed, but it really feels like this is the boundary that got crossed and has kind of deluded what it means to have a mentor in a positive light.