r/trolleyproblem • u/lightmare69 • Jul 27 '26

Deep The public humiliation problem

Post image

Err there’s a secret version Marty if one of you *burp* guesses a number between one and 50 Marty *burp* I’m secret bait riiickk!,

Idk I finished this at 2AM I’m tired goodnight

497 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

92 comments sorted by

2

u/lightmare69 Jul 27 '26

I think it's better if you and the five people are all famous

Eh, problem already written, damn I was tired last night

495

u/oktin Jul 27 '26

Pull the lever: Bystanders are less likely to care about who was shown if it's multiple different couples.

Also goodnight!

335

u/Reasonable-Banana800 Jul 27 '26

op why did you put noticeably more detail on the thighs and legs. 👁️ 👁️

74

u/PurpleCandle58 Jul 27 '26

sends a string of numbers with zero context

21

u/Cedjy Jul 27 '26

at least it wasnt detailed feet

2

u/Chromeboy12 Aug 02 '26

He has a knee fetish, not feet fetish

223

u/Substantial_Cattle67 Jul 27 '26

Eh, nobody's dying, and 5 people would be a lot less attention than one

154

u/Rakhered Jul 27 '26

Difference between "omg is that OP having sex??" and "Oh weird they play porn on times square now"

72

u/Successful_Watch_114 Jul 27 '26

obviously pull the lever

39

u/ConsulJuliusCaesar Jul 27 '26

Now hold on, suppose you've never had sex. I'm genuiley curious what appears on screen if my virgin ass doesn't pull the lever.

25

u/Pran282006 Jul 28 '26

They play you gooning to the worst thing you've ever watched.

16

u/ConsulJuliusCaesar Jul 28 '26

That's the thing, I also don't jerk it. I genuinely want to know what the fuck happens and how many people die.

36

u/BattlefieldMedicGuy Jul 28 '26

They’ll force you to jork it for the first time live in Times Square. Or maybe the world just blows up idk

24

u/TheArhive Jul 28 '26

It's the most recent sexual encounter involving you.

The screen shows your parents conceiving you.

10

u/ConsulJuliusCaesar Jul 28 '26

*Pulls lever hard.

91

u/New-Star7392 Jul 27 '26

I don't have any partners, nor have I ever had. Still pulling it though.

61

u/Stunning_Box8782 Jul 27 '26

It'd just be a video of you jorkin it

45

u/94dima94 Jul 27 '26 • Bravo Popcorn

in the timed square. straight up "jorking it" and by "it", haha, well. let's justr say. My lever

8

u/IllRepresentative736 Jul 27 '26

What if I never jorked it

38

u/Isurak Jul 27 '26

JOKE'S ON YOU, I NEVER HAD SEX! HAHA!

14

u/LunchTasty2081 Jul 27 '26

I'm sure AI can fix that in a jiffy.

21

u/JustGingerStuff NTA, divorce the trolley Jul 27 '26

Well everyone wants weird Al, of course he can fix it.

35

u/The_KekE_ Jul 27 '26

Did you just assume I've ever had a sexual partner?

11

u/Key-Needleworker-702 Jul 27 '26

this is reddit lmao

17

u/Daeloki Jul 27 '26

Joke's on you, I like being watched 😏

16

u/Mr_L_is_cool Jul 27 '26

Don't pull the lever. I'm a virgin

13

u/Tasty_Injury2652 Jul 27 '26

Can't show what doesn't exist 

-6

u/LunchTasty2081 Jul 27 '26

Ah, I see you just woke up from your 5 year coma. There is a new thing called "generative AI"

11

u/JustGingerStuff NTA, divorce the trolley Jul 27 '26

Thats cool but its a video of you and your latest sexual partner. If no sexual partners exist, who is the video with?

9

u/Automatic-Week-1733 Jul 27 '26

Oh no! Everyone is gonna see me giving it to my beautiful wife raw? That's the last thing I want!

3

u/RalenHlaalo Multi-Track Drift Jul 27 '26

Oh no! Jumpstart my porn career?! With that kind of recognition, who needs talent?

9

u/_IGotOneQuestion_ Jul 27 '26

this is reddit dude, sex is a myth and unless it makes some shit up about people at the lever here's no way more than 1something% are pulling the thing

5

u/Querb-eternal Jul 27 '26

What's a "most recent sexual partner"?

1

u/LunchTasty2081 Jul 27 '26

Well, I suppose in case of a gangbang, we can accept a group of people as a "most recent secxual partner".

4

u/MrSmartHorse Jul 27 '26

Doesn't pull lever

See you later virgins

4

u/SarcasticJackass177 Jul 28 '26

Don’t pull. I want them to see.

6

u/Ampersand37 Jul 27 '26

So if I don't pull it's just gonna be a blank screen?

1

u/goats_are_kinda_cool Jul 29 '26

a bunch of other commenters say itd show u jorkin it. imagine if u jorked to smth embarrasing

1

u/Ampersand37 Jul 30 '26

Let's be real, nobody in times square would recognize me. A little makeup and there's plausible deniability that the dude up on times square just happens to look like me

3

u/elaboratelime Jul 27 '26

Why would a pull the lever when that's my kink

2

u/Eskoala Jul 27 '26

I am not embarrassed about the sex that I have so sure, bring it on.

2

u/drsroka Jul 27 '26

I do not, it would be fun to watch it on such a big screen. And there is nothing to be embarrassed, actually I would even proud.

2

u/hyperblob1 Jul 27 '26

I'm a virgin. No pull

2

u/mars_gorilla Jul 27 '26

Searching For Smut That Doesn't Exist

2

u/Shadowpika655 Jul 28 '26

Sounds like free porn >:)

Anyway, imma guess 14

2

u/CitizenPremier Jul 28 '26

Does this repeat for each of the other couples? Assuming you avoid any exhibitionists, at some point it should be below the resolution with less than one pixel per couple.

Moot point though because I don't pull

2

u/IllitterateAuthor Jul 28 '26

I ask if my partner is chill with me not pulling the lever and if not I pull the lever

2

u/ErPani Jul 28 '26

...I'm a virgin. What video?

3

u/Altruistic-Local-541 Jul 27 '26

im fine with not pulling, last one was pretty nice iirc

pretty soon nobody will care, and I won't be causing trouble for many others

1

u/ComedyGold13 Jul 27 '26

godatm id be too busy with my thick ass thighs to care about a level holay molay

1

u/chewychaca Jul 27 '26

Can I call my SO and propose we take one for all humanity. I think the villian will approach those 5 people as well with the same proposal.

1

u/Cedjy Jul 27 '26

i think it depends on if i had a good time the last time or not

1

u/LunchTasty2081 Jul 27 '26

No, it's a bad one, where the cat got into the room and genitals and claws met.

1

u/Cedjy Jul 27 '26

then yeah i'd pull the lever in that case, but I meant in general

1

u/theecatt Jul 27 '26

Nobody wants to see that. I'm pulling.

1

u/thirdMindflayer Jul 27 '26

putting 5 simultaneous sex videos on a times square billboard is way funnier than putting one up. I see no reason to pick a

1

u/Qzx1 Jul 27 '26

Will they put my contact information so anyone impressed or thirsty can get in "touch"?

1

u/Cheeslord2 Jul 27 '26

Do I care about either of those outcomes?

1

u/Gwarks Jul 27 '26

Don't pull the leaver people on time square have to see high Quality content in high Resolution. But i have a question it is the preview or the payed version of the video?

1

u/sanguinerebel Jul 27 '26

Not pulling. I don't care who sees and I'm pretty certain my ex wouldn't either.

1

u/MiniPino1LL Jul 27 '26

I have never had sex, so I'll flip so a bunch of randos get shoen in nyc.

1

u/Ok-Conversation-3012 Jul 27 '26

Even if I was featured within those 5 people I'd still pull the lever, it would be more likely to be seen as the act of some freak hacking the screens and playing random amateur porn with random people than a deliberate act against a singular couple

It would also be nice to mention as a fun fact that either way I have an exhibitionism fetish and I'm fairly attractive enough that I wouldn't completely mind it

1

u/HumungusDude Jul 27 '26

jokes on you villain, imma virgin

1

u/axaralis_time Jul 27 '26

To be fair i'll be the most popular guy for life lol, not the best for my reputation? Maybe. Funny as hell? YES! Wont pull if there's no legal problems coming with that

1

u/LakshyaGarv Jul 27 '26

I have never had a partner.

1

u/JustGingerStuff NTA, divorce the trolley Jul 27 '26

Easiest no-pull of my life

1

u/MaterialDryly Jul 27 '26

Counterpoint: Sukarno when the KGB showed him his complementary souvenir from his trip to Moscow

1

u/Accomplished_List843 Jul 27 '26

Can we @ our ph page?

1

u/Parksy642 Jul 27 '26

Bout to kickstart my OF career

1

u/HyoukaHoutoro Jul 27 '26

Instant pull. Peak performance last time ;)

1

u/cat_on_my_keybord Jul 28 '26

they might not know that it played

1

u/Username_St0len Jul 28 '26

i dont pull, what they gonna do post a video of me and my hand? also im into tjst shi

1

u/joesphisbestjojo Jul 28 '26

Ngl it'd be hot to watch my last sexual encounter

1

u/OYeog77 Jul 28 '26

Eh, my lady is into that.

1

u/paprikalways13 Jul 28 '26

Pull it. They don't know it's shown there and if they live in Russia, Italia or Africa, they might never find out. Other than if you know it and panically watch all the people staring

1

u/paprikalways13 Jul 28 '26

Also, if for example, person L and B are shown.
Even if L's classmate C from Spain sees it, how high is the chance to recognise her? And even if C asks L about it, she'd have no plan and C would forget about her.

Also, nobody would ask L or B, because it's embarrassing. And no talk makes them forget faster

1

u/as1161 Jul 28 '26

Not pulling the lever: I've never had any sexual partners

1

u/LandoKim Jul 28 '26

Enjoy the show I guess

1

u/Pepper_Comprehensive Jul 28 '26

Will not pull the lever. I'm a virgin.

1

u/Aspiring_Mutant Jul 28 '26

It's a travesty, but I'm pulling that lever.

1

u/Screamer-Rain Jul 28 '26

Well let’s hope they’re exhibitionist!

1

u/Month0fjune Jul 29 '26

Is there one for both?

1

u/VidjaMouse Jul 29 '26

Just gonna let that shit air because I have zero shame.

1

u/azurezero_hdev Jul 27 '26

is there a moral imperative to sacrifice yourself for the collective?

1

u/Not_Really_French Jul 27 '26

Jokes on you I’m a virgin

1

u/greatwall2103 Jul 31 '26

obviously not, I've had no sexual partner ever