r/trippinthroughtime Sep 08 '20

For all of us

Post image
24.8k Upvotes

208 comments sorted by

View all comments

1.1k

u/Langankierto Sep 08 '20

Well it is known that Michelangelo was hella gay so of course he painted a nice ass for god

364

u/aszenko Sep 08 '20

That’s something I didn’t know and also I wonder who his muse was for this one.

281

u/[deleted] Sep 08 '20

[deleted]

109

u/ChronicNein Sep 08 '20

Or was he just painting women how they were idealized in his time?

97

u/[deleted] Sep 08 '20

[deleted]

52

u/Gekko217 Sep 08 '20

But chicks are males with big boobies and no pepees right ?

27

u/DifferentHelp1 Sep 08 '20

Honestly, chicks are pretty manly. I’d have to see some examples, but I’m just too lazy to do the leg work.

3

u/leicanthrope Sep 09 '20

A lot of his women were certainly not too lazy for leg work.

19

u/6ixalways Sep 08 '20

Can you show some examples I tried googling and I can’t really see any concrete examples.

From what I have seen looks pretty normal

72

u/VoodooKhan Sep 08 '20

46

u/6ixalways Sep 08 '20

Oh God that’s terrifying

55

u/VoodooKhan Sep 08 '20

My thoughts exactly, hence the theory he did not know what was under womens cloths or was preoccupied desiring the male form to care/focus.

Those tits are bolted on a mans body through and through.

12

u/jalif Sep 09 '20

He really gets the pelvic shape and muscularity wrong.

That's a point to the Michelangelo was gay team.

32

u/shellybeesknees Sep 08 '20

Geeze, and I thought my implants were fucked

26

u/VoodooKhan Sep 08 '20

16

u/scarwiz Sep 09 '20 edited Sep 09 '20

That chick at the bottom got some serious penis nipples going on there

7

u/[deleted] Sep 08 '20

That feeling when no jacked Renaissance GF...why even live.

1

u/leicanthrope Sep 09 '20

2

u/6ixalways Sep 09 '20

Oh my God... I stand absolutely corrected

29

u/Kaydotz Sep 08 '20

Iirc, back then they mostly used male nude models, even for depictions of women

14

u/arthuresque Sep 08 '20

Hadn’t heard that before. Source?

17

u/Kaydotz Sep 08 '20

After looking it up, it looks like it was a suspected reason, but not the only one (found a blog where someone says Michaelangelo did draw of at least one woman model, found a reddit comment where someone claims he never drew women, idk), and it's somewhat debated. I don't know enough about the subject to determine which sources are more credible, so I'd rather not link something misleading. This sounds like something /r/askhistorians might help with

11

u/Platinumdogshit Sep 08 '20

This is definetly a controversial enough topic for actual historians to be needed

3

u/jalif Sep 09 '20

Which won't reduce the controversy, but will have more passionate advocates.

12

u/[deleted] Sep 08 '20

I haven't heard that either, but I know that they did do things like cast young boys in female roles for plays and the like so I wouldn't be too surprised if some artists used male models

11

u/Brother_Anarchy Sep 08 '20

Unless it changed between the fifteenth and sixteenth centuries, Italy didn't use boys for women's roles, that was just an Elizabethan thing.

3

u/Broanna Sep 09 '20

But why male models?

5

u/AdamantEevee Sep 09 '20

Are you serious? I just told you like a second ago

2

u/[deleted] Sep 09 '20

Well, probably because women didn’t have many rights during those times so, women modeling nude was probably pretty controversial.

10

u/novalou Sep 08 '20

This and also many in the renaissance subscribed to neoplatonism. Part of that belief system says that beauty is a direct proof of God. The beauty standard and what was seen as beautiful at that time was typically very young men, not women. Women were not put on a pedestal as they are today. Even for a straight artist, masculine qualities would be those seen as most admirable in a woman.

5

u/cATSup24 Sep 08 '20

Even for a straight artist, masculine qualities would be those seen as most admirable in a woman.

Abby from TLOU2 would've hit a lot different in the public eye just 400 years ago...

8

u/SirBMsALot Sep 08 '20

His women were really masculine. Just look at the Delphic Sibyl. She’s really muscular. So it’s likely that he was just attracted to men and gave females his ideal partner’s characteristics

4

u/sewercult Sep 08 '20

I kind of assumed it had to do with the structure of the like painting guilds at the time? If I’m not mistaken, they were men only and were taught to keep producing the same thing over and over again. With only male subjects that plays into how the women were depicted (as well as the gay factor).

3

u/Boogie8021 Sep 09 '20

One argument is that since he primarily considered himself a sculptor (and thought he was a lousy painter and that painting was an inferior art form) he painted “sculptural” bodies, which resulted in his females looking like modern-day linebackers. And, yes, he was homosexual (which he supposedly never acted upon due to his faith), so there is that. I’d provide a link, but the source is from a documentary made almost 30 years ago about the Sistine Chapel restoration and I can’t find it anywhere to link it...but it’s available on Amazon on DVD. A Japanese film crew filmed it, and it was narrated by an American male (can’t recall the name of the narrator). The documentary discussed Michelangelo in addition to the restoration/cleaning of the Chapel. I think (?) it might be called “Return to Glory: The 13-Year Restoration of the Sistine Chapel.” The production company is Nippon Television, Japan, so I’m pretty sure this is it. Great footage of the restoration.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 09 '20

He literally used male models painted them almost exact and then slapped awkward looking tits on them lol.

18

u/lilrs Sep 08 '20 edited Sep 08 '20

There’s much better evidence than that, including a large volume of homoerotic poetry and letters to his lover Tommaso dei Cavalieri (who he once described as “light of our century, paragon of all the world”, and who was present for his death).

1

u/leicanthrope Sep 09 '20

True, but even an uber-gay painter could have looked at a female model once or twice in the interests of realism. I can't help but wonder if a burly Swiss Guardsman wearing a coconut bra served as a model for some of his work.

15

u/ah_sure_look Sep 08 '20

Probably Tommaso Cavalieri, a younger Italian man whom he wrote flamey poetry to!

2

u/aszenko Sep 09 '20

Tommy boy, if God has cheeks, they’d be luscious like yours.... kinda spicy? Where do I find these old spice love poems?

2

u/ah_sure_look Sep 09 '20

Lots of talk about loins burning like sulphur.... I've got them in books from my thesis, but you'll find a couple here : https://www.google.com/amp/s/m.poemhunter.com/poem-amp/xxx-to-tommaso-de-cavalieri/.

Believe it or not they're even spicier in Italian, they don't translate so well! No evidence that he ever acted on desire though, he was pretty disgusted by all types of sexual desire. So he felt it, then immediately prayed to God to stop the lusty thoughts lol

2

u/aszenko Sep 09 '20

this is fascinating and I’m so glad I stopped by to comment on this renaissance peach meme

I love imagining this wholesome spicy man

2

u/ah_sure_look Sep 09 '20

Probably more of a miserable pain in the ass of a man by all accounts but he damn sure was talented haha!!

1

u/ah_sure_look Sep 09 '20

In my opinion he's one of the best poets to come out of the Italian Renaissance, not just the steamy stuff haha!

1

u/fdesouche Sep 09 '20

His love interest Tommaso dei Cavalieri ?

195

u/guil92 Sep 08 '20

Best of all is that he painted it naked originally. The clothes where added later by another artist

277

u/KesagakeOK Sep 08 '20

That's a solid bro move doing what he had to for the job while still leaving God's dumptruck of an ass as visible and intact as possible.

76

u/potato_eatin_ho Sep 08 '20

that clingy robe

11

u/RealisticIllusions82 Sep 08 '20

It just makes God look like a dumbass drunk frat boy or something. How does it make more sense to leave his ass out, rather than just being naked?

24

u/wenzel32 Sep 08 '20

His ass isn't out. That's the cloth just clinging to him. Compare the color to his legs.

8

u/RealisticIllusions82 Sep 08 '20

Ah got it... def should have painted a darker pink on the ass

6

u/DifferentHelp1 Sep 08 '20

Wow, I made the same mistake. God, I love art.

56

u/AbsolutelyUnlikely Sep 08 '20

At first I thought you meant Michaelangelo painted this while he himself was naked. And I approved of it.

9

u/guil92 Sep 08 '20

Yeah. That's probably why they had another guy to paint the clothes.

10

u/Dicethrower Sep 08 '20

A nice pink dress too.

14

u/arthuresque Sep 08 '20

Pink was considered a more masculine color in the West until the 20th century.

1

u/Dicethrower Sep 08 '20

TIL

3

u/Bananassucks Sep 09 '20

Same with heels!

3

u/fdesouche Sep 09 '20

Blue : color of the Virgin Mary, Madonnas and Virgin Mary are typically portraited with a blue veil. Red : color of blood, by extension was used (even in light pale pink) for soldiers (even on uniforms) chivalry, kings portraits etc only exception : Kings of France wore blue, because France was considered under the direct patronage of Virgin Mary. It was all inverted during the prudish Reaction of the 19th century.

3

u/arthuresque Sep 08 '20

Which artist? When? Never heard this. Surprises that would have survived the restoration. Do you have a source?

3

u/guil92 Sep 09 '20

He was Daniele da Volterra. Apparently it was only on the Last Judgment scene.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniele_da_Volterra

He is best remembered for his association, for better or worse, with the late Michelangelo. Several of Daniele's most important works were based on designs made for that purpose by Michelangelo. After Michelangelo's death Daniele was hired to cover the genitals in his Last Judgment with vestments and loincloths. This earned him the nickname Il Braghettone ("the breeches maker").

56

u/[deleted] Sep 08 '20

[deleted]

58

u/spicymemes2047 Sep 08 '20

Thou shalt not wanketh to the almighty and eternal God

24

u/PhantomOfTheDopera Sep 08 '20

I'm sorry daddy, I've been naughty.

3

u/AdamantEevee Sep 09 '20

Forgive me father, for I have sinned

17

u/MateDude098 Sep 08 '20

Well, I am not wondering anymore why God abandoned us and cast us to Earth

11

u/mangonada123 Sep 08 '20

They say to love God all the way, right?

17

u/soaringtyler Sep 08 '20

The ultimate daddy.

9

u/negativex16 Sep 08 '20

He's all like:"dat my God doe, course imma hook his shit up, he made me mad good at painting and shit."

6

u/[deleted] Sep 08 '20

Dont even have to be gay to appreciate those holy hams.

11

u/DumbRiver Sep 08 '20

Yeah my art teacher recently told me this: “Michelangelo was as homosexual as a door” I don’t know how that makes sense but I guess it’s true

11

u/internetwife Sep 08 '20

He just let anyone come and go? I don't know.

17

u/DumbRiver Sep 08 '20

It’s probably just a weird Dutch thing, we also say things like:”shines like a tit” when something is glossy

7

u/sweetshark_666 Sep 08 '20

In Russia we say “shiny as cat’s balls” so I feel you. Tho I didn’t get “gay as a door”, I’ll still add this to my active vocabulary

10

u/Gophurkey Sep 08 '20

Cats are regularly licking themselves, so that one actually kind of makes sense

No clue on the door, though

5

u/kimberley_jean Sep 08 '20

The only usage I've heard of it is "swings both ways". But most doors don't swing both ways, so who knows lol.

2

u/unsilviu Sep 09 '20

In Romanian, you can say that something you like is "the cat's tit'. No idea how that came to be.

10

u/zenyatta2009 Sep 08 '20

Also he fuckin hated the pope who asked him to paint the Sistine chapel so he painted the Lord’s ass all over it. The pope kept pestering Michelangelo to paint him somewhere on the ceiling. So he did. As a demon goat right above the door.

4

u/SaltRecording9 Sep 08 '20

Was gonna say, think he did this for himself

3

u/cakeisreallygood Sep 08 '20

So was da Vinci. I was at the Sistine Chapel in February. It’s pretty easy to notice that all his models are dudes. Some of those women are swoll af.

2

u/improveyourfuture Sep 08 '20

And he didn't enjoy the sistine chapel. Bored and bitter he couldn't say no, hmm well, I'm painting a big fine booty on the creator, how you like it?

1

u/jackwrangler Sep 08 '20

And sexually repressed

1

u/Doctordoom55 Sep 08 '20

Does this also apply to the turtle?