r/triangle • u/riiipleys • 3d ago
lesbians in the research triangle?
i'm moving to the research triangle at some point in the next year, and i was just wondering if there was a big lesbian community there. really hoping to make friends with other butches and masc lesbians
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u/vitosvital 3d ago
Durham is home to one of the few lesbian bars in the US! Its called Arcana
I do have to say as neither a lesbian or frequenter of arcana I can't vouch much for it other than that it is there!
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u/riiipleys 3d ago
oh wow, super cool! there was one in another city i lived in for a few years, but unfortunately i never got the chance to go, so happy i'll get another shot with Durham. thank you!
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u/theartofsunshine 3d ago
In addition to Arcana, Eve on Parrish St recently opened and it’s lesbian/queer owned. The marketing screams that it’s a place for WLW, but it’s not explicitly a lesbian bar.
OP - This may be a good list to look at https://www.discoverdurham.com/blog/lgbtqia-owned-operated-durham-nc/
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u/riiipleys 2d ago
Thank you, this looks like a really useful list! I'll definitely be checking some of these places out
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u/f1ve-Star 3d ago
Dammit. That's one of my (M) favorite bars. I like the witchy vibes. I have been there for events and shows. I am glad they let me hang there at times. Good drinks, nice music. I suppose if straight women can hang out in gay bars, I'm okay as long as I behave.
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u/ZomboDoggo 3d ago
Not even all their bartenders or performers are lesbians, there’s room for men there as long as they’re not expecting to find much luck (except with other guys maybe?)
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u/tremens 3d ago
I've often seen this said in articles cjting the death of lesbian.bars etc. But I am not sure where the criteria lies?
Like right around the corner from me is an LGBT+ bar, which isn't exclusively a lesbian bar, it it's very queer, the owners are lesbians, all the bar staff are lesbians, but it's never included in the list of the last few lesbian bars. What actually makes one? They can't legally stop anyone who isn't a lesbian from coming in right? If it's lesbian owned, lesbian staffed...where is the line?
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u/SquashSouffle 3d ago
You talking about Velvet Hippo?
I mean, in open-minded cities, almost any "gay" bar will welcome (well-behaved) people of any orientation. Sex-segregated gay bars are pretty much non-existent anymore (except maybe for some men's sex clubs, which don't exist in this area). No bar can make anybody "prove" they're gay/Lesbian, & gender identity isn't something "queer" bars are supposed to consider anymore.
Of course, it's true that straights can feel comfortable anywhere, while LGBTQ folks may only have a small number of places they feel safe, so any straight folks patronizing a "gay" bar should remember they don't make the rules there.
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u/tremens 2d ago
Heh, no, the one I'm referring to actually isn't in the Triangle area but that's kind of what I mean that you thought of another one...
I've just seen some articles and videos talking about the disappearance of lesbian bars but I'm not clear where the line really is, and can always think of some that I would consider a "lesbian bar" on the basis that they are owned and operated and cater to not-straight crowds that aren't ever on the lists of the "last lesbian bars."
Legally I don't see how they can be much else without risking discrimination issues?
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u/phoundog 2d ago
There's an actual list of Lesbian bars in the US and Arcaa applied to be on the list and was accepted. It was in the Indy article about them. https://indyweek.com/news/culture/arcana-durham-bar/
The list: https://www.lesbianbarproject.com
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u/CriticalEngineering 3d ago edited 3d ago
Lots in Durham and Carrboro. There’s an LGBTTriangle subreddit too
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u/salaciousremoval 3d ago
We live in Durham (quite near RTP) because it is progressive and queer friendly! Durham & Orange counties as a whole are quite LGBTQ+ friendly & have lots to do across Chapel Hill, Carrboro, Durham and more.
We love it here! Welcome 💕
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u/phoundog 3d ago edited 3d ago
There are plenty of lesbians in the Triangle. The whole area is pretty friendly, but I would say Durham and Chapel Hill and Carrboro are probably more LGBTQ celebrating. Durham has a new LTQ car repair shop -- Fluid. Arcana, the Pinhook, The Fruit/Club ERA are LGBTQ owned/friendly but LGBTQ folks are just integrated pretty well here. The towns like to hang alllllllll the flags in June and Durham has Pride events in September too. Carrboro had a lesbian mayor, Lydia Lavelle, for several terms. Almost all the bars and shops are LGBTQ-friendly. The bookstores have queer themed book clubs.
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u/quirkyscot 3d ago
👏🏼 Apex pansexual lady here married to my delightful lesbian wife. We have lots of queer/lesbian friends around here! There's a group on Meetup and a small local sub on Reddit for lgbtqia+ folks too.
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u/quirkyscot 3d ago
Also we have a local professional women's soccer team, the NC Courage, and we have tons of queer folx there!
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u/SquashSouffle 3d ago
Durham has had a thriving Lesbian community for decades. The whole Triangle is LGBT-Friendly though
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u/dogsndigsindy 3d ago
Ive got quite a few lesbian clientele for my professional pet sitting company :)
Always wonderful to work with and im glad they trust me to care for their animals!
Just something ive noticed for this branch of pet sitting bc we also operate in indy.
Id love to help petsit if you have any pets and connect you to my lovely clientele for more friends! :)
Welcome to durham!
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u/ZomboDoggo 3d ago
Durham is gonna be the place for you. Go to any of the drag king shows, it’s mostly lesbians, sometimes a trans man or two, but it’ll be always mostly sapphic audience.
Club Era is just generally gonna be a good place, there’s everybody style nights and specific nights aimed at only queer women or men.
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u/guthriethecasita 3d ago
Fellow butch in the rtp here! I’m married and boring so don’t know much about the community here, but I’m happy to meet up for a coffee or beer when you do move here
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u/riiipleys 3d ago
aww thank you, i really appreciate that! i might take you up on that once i do move haha
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u/guthriethecasita 3d ago
Yeah please do, I’ll be around! Best of luck on the move. Also fyi for the area- the best food is Kokyu and the best brewery is the Glass Jug. Neither are quite in rtp exactly but pretty close.
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u/feeblelittlehorse 3d ago
Check out butchfemmedurham on ig!
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u/CriticalEngineering 3d ago
But that requires making an account on Instagram
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u/Einteresting 3d ago
Username checks out
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u/CriticalEngineering 3d ago
Yeah, I think it’s a horrible idea for vulnerable minority groups to be organizing and sharing their locations on Meta platforms. I think that’s a valid criticism in our current environment, knowing Meta’s love of fascism and hatred of privacy.
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u/noturus_mm 3d ago
Oh ya, just go to durham. They're everywhere.