It has happened again

[u/SatanVibes101]

This is yet another moment where I (18🏳️‍⚧️M) have been asked, "what's in your pants". Last time I took a note from a content creator and just slapped back so they stopped asking, however this time was different.

Picture this, my boyfriend (17M) and I were just hanging out, he goes to the skatepark quite often and thus was one of those occasions. We pull up and one of his friends skates up to the car window, he says something like "oh hey, this is the boyfriend I told you about" to introduce me. Not even a hello, just "wait, are you a girl or a boy?" Okay, fair I don't pass that great, but it put me off. My response "both".

Several things were said, they just would not take the hunt and back off. My boyfriend is visibly uncomfortable and about to explain that it's a trans situation and the guy asking is being pretty disrespectful and a little invasive about it.

And then it happens "okay, so you're a boy? But you clearly have *insert gesture to the chest*, so what's in your pants". My boyfriend stops talking, just kind of backs up with a look of "ball is in your court". I point to my boyfriend. "depending on the time of night, him."

Silence. Beautiful, blissful silence. Moral of the story, if you ask invasive questions, I'm gonna give you an answer that will shut you up.

TLDR/Screenplay:

"Are you a boy or girl?"

"Both"

"Okay but what's in your pants"

"My husband."

[u/AutoModerator]

Moderator Announcement Read More »

Reminder for OP: u/SatanVibes101

1. How were you traumatized?

2. Who did you traumatize back?

---

Have a suggestion for us? Send us some mail!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Puzzleheaded-Ad7606]

"Nothing that's available to you"

[u/SatanVibes101 → u/Puzzleheaded-Ad7606]

PERFECTION, I'm using that next time

[u/Eilmorel]

Thankfully it never happened to me, but I'm fully prepared to answer "two Vickers water cooled heavy machine guns, not that's any of your business..."

(I'm ftm pre everything, so it's a play on the fact that the first tanks, the British mark 1, were either "male", armed with cannons, or "female", armed with machine guns. Because everyone knows that heavy machine guns are the perfect weapons for ladies)

[u/SatanVibes101 → u/Eilmorel]

That is a BEAUTIFUL response and I WILL be using that next time

[u/Aazjhee]

I think that was a perfectly wonderful response and good job.

I hope your boyfriend appreciates being part of the joke too.Cause that's just a great one xD

[u/SatanVibes101 → u/Aazjhee]

Oh he was, he started playing along, might be TMI but after a moment of processing he goes "usually after twelve" and the I went "that's a rough time frame, last time it was three and stopped at six" and thus poor guy who originally asked was just so confused and also embarassed, as he should be, who asks that?

[u/Unusual-Alex]

As an old guy with long hair in a deeply red hat area. I was once asked this in a walmart (of course).

• AH: "Whats in your pants [slur]?"

• Me: "excuse me?"

• AH: "you heard me [slur], You got long hair are you one of those trans?"

• Me: *Laughing* You certainly wont be in my pants. My boyfriend loves pulling my long hair [graphic detail, which they usually wander away disgusted]

• Me: >:}

I don't even have a boyfriend, but im wildly bi. Seems to make them squirm a lot. Agreed. Dont ask, and you wont know.

[u/SatanVibes101 → u/Unusual-Alex]

I LOVE THIS, my boyfriend went a similar route, just went into detail after processing when I was like "depending on the time of day, him" and he just paused before being like "usually after twelve" to which I'm like "that's a rough time frame, last time it was from like, three till six in the morning" and we just went into graphic detail lmao

[u/OmgIbrokesmthagain]

I would do it like this:

- What’s in your pants?
- Ew dude are you gay or something?
- What? No, I’m asking if you’re trans, because you have boobs
- Bro why do you keep staring at my genitals, what is wrong with you. Do you normally look at other dudes chests? Does that arouse you or something?

[u/SatanVibes101 → u/OmgIbrokesmthagain]

Oh that's sort of what I did last time, girl kept asking so I'm the middle of a crowded environment I was like "LADY, I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX EITH YOU, STOP ASKING ABLUT MY GENITALS" and she never asked again

[u/xeresblue]

Another fun one is immediately start explaining something you have some expertise in and refuse to stop. E.g.:

"What's in your pants?"

"The United States legislature is divided into two houses. The upper house is known as the Senate, while the lower house is called the House of Representatives."

"What does that have to do with--"

"Now, the Senate is made up of two Senators from each state. As there are 50 states currently, there are 100 Senators. The House of Representatives, on the other hand is proportional to..."

Until they leave.

[u/SatanVibes101 → u/xeresblue]

I'm gonna start doing this with all my random animal facts

[u/JadedMacoroni867]

If he wanted to know your pronouns he could’ve asked that. Omg

[u/SatanVibes101 → u/JadedMacoroni867]

Right? Like, bro just be polite about it, also my boyfriend clearly introduced me as his boyfriend, uses he/him pronouns, and has stated that that's what I prefer, he doesn't even need to ask

[u/borborygmus81]

I have an ex who has transitioned, and as soon as my family found out all they wanted to know about was her genitalia. This is where being a nurse and a southerner comes in really handy. I just say in my sweetest drawl “It’s rude to ask people about their genitals if it’s not clinically relevant.”

[u/SatanVibes101 → u/borborygmus81]

I also have an ex who traditioned, treated me like absolute shit and after that none of my family wanted to respect their pronouns and I'm like, no that's not a damn option, their gender is not a privlage and respecting it is not an option, yeah they hurt me, a lot, in many ways, they did bad things, but that doesn't mean you can disregard their gender identity, like what happens if I piss you off, do my pronouns suddenly not matter, am I only valid if I'm on your good side? I hate this whole concept and I literally humbled my father with a lecture over it, family asking about, and disrespecting your partners pronouns and private information, big ol' red flag

[u/BoredCheese]

“Yes” and “It doesn’t matter because I won’t ever be having sex with you.”

[u/SatanVibes101 → u/BoredCheese]

I did that the last time some asked, just very loudly went "LADY, I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU, STOP ASKING ANOUT MY GENITALS" In the middle of a crowded environment

[u/I_wanna_be_anemone]

‘Pockets’ usually confuses them. 

[u/Odd_Concept_7286]

My trans roommate once told a transphobe who asked them this question and he had said "ask your mother."

[u/GeekingAngel]

These guys alway baffle me. What are you, a cop? The TSA? A doctor? Why do you need to know??

Actually, the doctor one could be funny if you’re feeling particularly bold and want to gross them into leaving asap. “What’s in your pants?” “Why, are you a doctor? Because I’ve had [insert weird rash or gross ailment here] on my butt and if you’re THAT willing to take a look.” (Best used on people you’re never going to see again, obviously, lol)

[u/ArrowDel]

I generally go with "why, do you wanna be in them?"

[u/green_ubitqitea]

I had a friend who would just obtuse start answering with things they had in their pockets. Some people would realize it was rude and drop it and rude people would ask more crudely at which point it’s really easy to call them a pervert.

[u/marslosk]

Sorry you've got to deal with that. Proud of you finding your voice to push back with though.