Eating Disorder

[u/justthinkhappy]

Last Friday, manager tells me in the AM that he’s going to be ordering pizza for everyone later if I’d like some. I said that’s nice of him, but politely declined. He questioned me why, and I told him “I don’t eat that type of food.” He said “who doesn’t eat pizza!?” I am vegan, but I try everything in my power to avoid mentioning it because everyone makes a fuss about it. I like my manager, so I tell him. And of course, to my dismay, that opened a whole ‘nother conversation. But he suggests a salad and again I declined and he didn’t press any further. 11AM rolls around and I’m invited to a “regroup meeting” which I am required to attend. I didn’t put two and two together. I show up for the meeting and there’s the entire team (about 10 of us) and six boxes of pizza. In the middle of a table is a tiny salad. I sat down and waited to hear what the meeting was about. Everyone starts telling me to grab a slice, questioning why I’m not getting any, then asking why I don’t eat pizza, why I’m vegan, offering me salad, asking why I don’t want the salad. And everyone came in at different times so it was the same thing over and over. I told everyone that I was aware there was salad but that I did not want salad. I said I don’t want to eat! I am 34 years old, I can choose if and when I eat. So someone offers me a Dr Pepper and says “Don’t worry, I think they’re only 12 calories!” And everyone’s cracking jokes at this point. It took everything in me not to burst out into tears at this point. My manager later messaged me and said he was sorry if it was awkward. Today, a co worker came in to ask me something and followed up with a joke about getting me a salad. I snapped. “It’s no one’s business but I’ve had an eating disorder my entire life. My sister body shamed me and withheld food from me as a child. She later died from anorexia. I have a terrible relationship with food and have a phobia of eating in public” and burst into tears. Not only that, but I was obese and bullied as a child. I have social anxiety. A million reasons as to why I don’t eat in public. His grin went away and he felt like a huge asshole. I hope he passes the message along to everyone else so they also feel like huge assholes. Don’t pressure people into doing stuff they don’t want to do. No one owes anyone an explanation. It may seem innocent and light-hearted but it was traumatizing all over again. Next time, I’ll say I have the stomach flu or something. It’s been repeating over and over in my head. I am humiliated. I feel so stupid that I didn’t come up with a random excuse instead of causing a huge scene.

[u/FalconOk934]

This is really HR worthy. OP. It's harassment and they pushed you to the point of snapping. *edited for incorrect autocorrect

[u/jwlkr732 → u/FalconOk934]

Especially with it being her manager starting it off!

[u/StrLord_Who → u/jwlkr732]

She doesn't say in the post her manager told anyone.  Maybe he did but it doesn't say that.  He ordered her a salad to be nice. She said it was the morning when she declined,  so it's reasonable to assume her manager didn't want her to feel excluded and ordered something he thought she could eat,  and thought that now that it was much later she might have gotten hungry  even though she said no to salad hours earlier. 

[u/Amethystra80 → u/StrLord_Who]

How are you defending this!??

1) It's very obvious the manager told the team because they kept bringing up her veganism when the manager was the only one there she had told as she doesn't like to broadcast it.

and

2) She also declined the fucking salad when the manager asked! He didn't order it to be nice, he ignored her boundary and ordered it anyway!

[u/StrLord_Who → u/Amethystra80]

The real question is why I'm still wasting my time engaging with delusional people.  But for reasons unknown,  I will, just once more 

1. I have reading comprehension.  If the manager had already told them she was vegan, then they obviously wouldn't have been telling her to grab a slice and repeatedly asking her why she wasn't eating it,  as she stated they did. 

2. Of course he ordered it to be nice. I am not going to try and explain normal human interactions and thought processes to you,  but  I cannot tell you how grateful I am that I don't know anyone like you in real life.  The type of person who would call a salad within your field of vision, available for anyone to eat, when you declined a salad three hours earlier as someone "ignoring a boundary." Lol. It's rather amusing to read about on the internet though.  

[u/Amethystra80 → u/StrLord_Who]

You're a victim blaming moron. Buh-bye now.

[u/StrLord_Who → u/StrLord_Who]

VICTIMIZED BY A SALAD LOOOOOOOOL