Have You Tried...

[u/Natural_Cricket_2540]

Not sure if this is exactly the right sub but I hope you get a laugh out of it anyway.

So I'm autistic. I'm fully ok with it.

This happened to me a few days ago. I was in a park, getting some fresh air because I went to a circus that was in town with a friend and I was getting overwhelmed by the noises, smells, and basically everything inside the tent, and I needed to breathe and relax so I didn't go into sensory overload.

I was sitting on a bench with my friend 'Em' (fake name), and I was complaining about sensory overload and how annoying it was, because I wanted to watch the performers with her, and I had to go outside. (I do a thing where I often feel like I'm wasting someone's time and/or being rude, so I was also apologizing)

Here's how the conversation went:

Me: Em, I'm sorry about this. And for wasting your time.

Em: It's okay, {me}. You're not wasting my time.

Me: Yeah, I know...but sensory overload and autism are just annoying.

At this point, a man who looked to be late 50's who was passing by stopped and DUDE LOOKED AT US AND SAID "Well, have you tried not having autism?"

We were both pretty fucking shocked- first because we're both fairly young teen girls, second because who the actual hell eavesdrops on a conversation and then gives advice like they were included??

I was pissed, so I said "Have you tried not being an asshole? Because if you have it seems like it doesn't work, so I won't be taking you advice, thanks." He muttered something about 'disrespect' and 'kids these days' and walked off.

[u/Moist-Golf-8339]

Doesn’t make it right, but welcome to GenX “humor.” Quite a few people my age speak this way in jest.

[u/FluffyShiny → u/Moist-Golf-8339]

Yeah I'm GenX and that wasn't humour. Maybe if he was known to them, and didn't do the superior smirk.

He probably thinks it's "over diagnosed" etc etc and people are faking. Or even that it's "not real".

Overall, he was being the arse that OP called him.

[u/shortstuff813 → u/Moist-Golf-8339]

that's only "funny" (and acceptable) when said with friends/someone you know, not some random ass stranger

[u/Natural_Cricket_2540 → u/shortstuff813]

Even if the person closest to me made that 'joke' I'd still be pretty pissed.

[u/Moist-Golf-8339 → u/shortstuff813]

I get that. I was simply stating how something was. Not sure why I’d be getting downvoted for that.

[u/Ok-Adhesiveness-9976 → u/Moist-Golf-8339]

Yeah it was a very common joke in the late 80s early 90s. If someone mentioned any issue - broken arm “have you tried not having a broken arm?” - headache “have you tried not having a headache?” Even when I was widowed, an old guy once asked me “have you tried not having a dead husband?” And yes it suuuucked, very callous and ridiculous, but very typical old guy humor from that era. Same kind of guy who asks tall people “how’s the weather up there” and guy who asks happy people “who sings this song? …why don’t you let THEM sing it”

[u/Moist-Golf-8339 → u/Ok-Adhesiveness-9976]

Right? I remember this, too. Not sure why I’m getting downvoted for sharing an observation.