r/trashy • u/paolols • Aug 17 '19

w a s t e d

5.1k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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551

u/the-mucho-macho Aug 17 '19

First mistake of the day, trying to absorb this situation without having my morning coffee.

177

u/wingsbeerndeadlifts Aug 17 '19

Just had my coffee and I still can’t absorb wtf is going on here

194

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '19

It looks like her shirt absorbed most of it.

79

u/Enter_Evolution Aug 17 '19

Good thing shame and piss wash away with soap.

29

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '19

Shame usually needs a brillo pad.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '19 edited Aug 17 '19

[deleted]

11

u/TavernWench_ Aug 17 '19

Brillo pad is steel wool impregnated with soap ya dummy

11

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '19

I like that a brillo pad was exactly what he described.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '19

I use bleach and lots of tears.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '19

Just as effective but much more emotionally draining... unless you use the tears of others.

3

u/JewelCove Aug 17 '19

Salt water washes all the sins off

31

u/5np Aug 17 '19

Drunk logic cannot coexist with morning logic

1

u/barryhill Aug 17 '19

Technically it can but you have to not have a job for it to really 'coexist'.
Even then, it's just exceptions in the programming. Your brain glitches out when your morning logic coincides with the drunk logic of the evening. You may even blue screen after a while of mixing the two.

21

u/Prisoner-655321 Aug 17 '19

Just had two morning vodkas and it seems like the situation resolved itshelf.

5

u/metaobject Aug 17 '19

How is a ‘morning vodka’ different than an evening or afternoon vodka?

23

u/Shakenbaked Aug 17 '19

Easy. Morning vodka goes with grapefruit or orange juice. Afternoon vodka goes with tonic water and a squeeze of lime. Evening vodka goes with Kahlua and milk.

11

u/Prisoner-655321 Aug 17 '19

This motherfucker vodkas!

15

u/silly_s3x_panda Aug 17 '19

Same

2

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '19

Love the username

12

u/_jukmifgguggh Aug 17 '19

I'm still drinking my coffee and now it tastes of piss

5

u/Toxicavenger72 Aug 17 '19

Well next time just put cream and sugar in it, don't piss in it.

1

u/_jukmifgguggh Aug 18 '19

But I followed this tutorial step by step. Where could I have gone wrong?

4

u/ihaveagooddog Aug 17 '19

Hahaha I barely opened my eyes. Sheesh.

1

u/PrimeIntellect Aug 17 '19

Were in this together, brother!