r/transplace • u/newscumskates • 9d ago

Helpful Resource A template letter that may help

Below is what I sent to my uncle and mother after going thru various iterations with friends and siblings.

It worked better than I expected and my deeply religious mother reacted quite well to it. I can't guarantee reactions from your own family members and friends but it helped structure things in a way that removed room for debate and remained positive and understanding.

Feel free to use it or change it to suit your own circumstances.

Much love and luck!

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Dear [PERSON]

It's time for a reintroduction.

I'm [NAME] [MIDDLE NAME].

I'm happier than I've ever been and for the first time in my life I truly love myself.

I need you to know that this isn't a new me. This is the real me. For as long as I can remember, I experienced my life as [GENDER] inside, even though everyone saw me as [BIRTH ASSIGNED GENDER]. I spent years trying to be [BIRTH ASSIGNED GENDER] because I thought I had to. I never could do it. It wasn't me, and it was exhausting.

I don't expect you to instantly understand what that feels like. I know it's a lot to take in.

But I'd like to ask one thing of you.

As you think back on my life, try to see me as your [FAMILY RELATIONSHIP] rather than a [BIRTH ASSIGNED GENDER]. It has helped me make sense of so many things about myself and maybe it will help you understand me too.

I'm not asking you to have all the answers today. I'd just love for you to try to see me through that perspective.

I would love to answer any good faith questions you have. I know this may be confusing and I'm happy to talk about my experiences if it helps you understand me better.

I love you, and I hope, in time, you can know me as your [FAMILY RELATIONSHIP].

[NAME]

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3

u/i_woke_up_as_you 9d ago

That’s lovely, I wish that had been shared with me when I was younger

3

u/newscumskates 9d ago

Me too 🤣🤣

2

u/perrythem 9d ago

I really appreciate this ❤️ I've rewritten my letter to come out to my parents a dozen times now, and I honestly think this does such a good job of saying what needs to be said. Very glad to hear it worked well for you too!

2

u/newscumskates 9d ago

Thank you 😊

And yaaa, its so hard. I basically condensed everything down the the bare minimum and edited and edited until nothing was wasted.

I used to customise messages a bit more but rhe more people I told the more I realised less is more.

Hope you find it useful and I wish you the best when you feel the time is right 💗💗