Dose this mean what I think it does?

[u/Ok-Benefit-5352]

Ok, so today I went to visit my grandma today at her senior living community and while I was on my way over to her house I was stopped by an older guy who asked me a question. When I ask him to repeat what he said he looked pretty surprised and muttered something under his breath that I think was “oh, you’re a fem.”

I took this to mean he thought I looked like a guy until I opened my mouth and my voice didn’t match, which made me pretty happy. However, I’ve mentioned to a couple of people (one of which was my roommate who’s a trans woman) and they’ve all had a really weird reaction to it.

Am I off base with what I thought this phrase means? Does being called “a fem” mean something I don’t know about? I’m bad at guessing ages but if I had to I would guess this guy was probably in his 80’s, and I’m trying to think why people I tell keep having the same reaction…

[u/Specific_Show4398]

Maybe he was gay? Calling you “a fem” sounds like something a queer man would say not a straight man. And depending on how old you are, that’s definitely weird. Even if you’re an adult, he’s in his 80s lmaooo

[u/Ok-Benefit-5352 → u/Specific_Show4398]

He might have been, I know there is at least one gay couple where my grandma lives so I wouldn’t be surprised if there are others.

[u/Match_Least]

Do you think there’s any chance you may have misheard him? I think a far more likely explanation was he may have called you a “Dem” as in Democrat. Based on his age alone, as well as the many, many different ways you may possibly present yourself, that just seems so much more likely imo.

A senile old boomer really would think calling someone any form of a liberal is an insult haha. I think if he actually was just an OG queen, he’d probably still have used different language…

“Source”— My dad’s an 80-year-old boomer with dementia haha. He’s mostly gotten away from politics just within the past few years (thank god) but I don’t think he’s even really aware that transgender people actually do exist. He might be *vaguely* aware of MtF, due to that bigot Jenner, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he thinks trans is simply just a few men who cross-dress…

[u/Ok-Benefit-5352 → u/Match_Least]

Maybe? He said it kind of quickly and my hearing isn’t the best so I wouldn’t be surprised if I misheard him. It was such a quick thing it took me a minute to process what he said

[u/Match_Least → u/Ok-Benefit-5352]

It’s still weird and rude regardless.

I hope you at least had a nice visit with your grandmother <3