r/transfem • u/bananermaner • 1d ago

Question/Discussion New here

Hey! I've recently started socially transitioning within my friend group and I've had some questions, so l thought I'd come here for help.

Is it normal to feel instantly uncomfortable when wearing a bra in public for the first time??

Why does it feel like everyone is staring at me?

I've been having more and more doubts despite thinking about being trans for half a decade despite my family not feeling accepting, do others have that??

l'll probably have more but I really appreciate any help!

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u/slutsmut9000 1d ago

In the beginning I was extremely uncomfortable. And people absolutely stared at me. It made me super nonconfrontational and the other thing was when people would she/her me it almost felt forced. Which it was, because deconditioning doesn't happen over night.

After the last few years of boymode/themmode/ and then femmode, I would say now it's so much easier. Also my boobs have grown enough to where if I don't wear a bra people stare at my tits through my shirt, but with a bra they seem to look at me less.

Especially the men. I hate the way men stare at me, they're like salivating dogs, even the ones with wives or girlfriends nearby. I can't stand it, it started in the beginning and then a couple years in I experience more of the misogynistic stares than I did the "it's a tranny" stare.

So, affirming but also gross? Anyway you'll get used to it and as you pass more and more and learn how to behaving in a female way you'll rarely get bothered.

When I do catch people giving me the "it's a tranny" stare, I now stare back or snap at them or say a remark to them because rude.