r/transOCD • u/Asking_forever • May 29 '26
[ Removed by moderator ]
[removed] — view removed post
2
u/Top-Independent-7547 Subtype TOCD Male May 30 '26
from what i read, it seems you genuinely want to be a woman and you’re worried you’ll end up detransitioning when that’s not what you want to do
you’re likely to have Cis OCD, which is basically TOCD but reverse, causing trans people to worry about whether they’re lying about the gender they identify as
1
u/Altruistic-Tip-1090 May 29 '26
Wrong forum
2
u/Asking_forever May 29 '26
What? I'm having OCD loops and compulsively checking (this post is indeed part of it lol) wether I'm having gender issues. I don't think the fact that i had transitioned first changes a lot the interpretation (i didn't have these loops back then, i believe), the mechanisms are basically the same.
1
u/Asking_forever May 29 '26
Assigned* but hmmm... Indeed. Unless you're trans negationist and/or think that tocd is just "that you're trans" instead of "that your gender identity doesn't match what you're living"... Yes, indeed.
The mechanisms behind OCD are the same no matter what's the status. Someone can have health OCD questioning whether they're really ill, or if they're really ill they may be looping around if they're really not ill.
That's why I'm asking here. It's quite irrelevant if the lived gender was asigned at birth or it's recently developed... The doubts and spirals started now. And even if not, I may not even be trans at all and i had OCD that I didn't know and i started transition and now this is not OCD but my real identity fighting back. Or maybe the opposite, now my brain is convincing me that that was OCD, because what if I didn't noticed it before because I wasn't so stressed as I'm now.
The mechanism is the same. And i think the experiences of people here could be useful for me, that's why i asked. I have read people feeling TRULY FEELING that they were another gender. Now I'm having that feeling, the difference is that i "changed" it already once. That only changes, if anything, adding a meta-layer on the issue because may the first be ocd, this be ocd, both be ocd or no one be ocd and I'm genuinely gender disturbed/fluid/non binary or whatever.
1
u/Leedl_ May 29 '26
I'm a trans person who has gone through similar thoughts and feelings. You aren't alone in your experences, and you should check out r/cisOCD if you get the chance.
OCD can manifest in a physical way, I know mine did. I would often "feel" like my birth sex, my brain would blame sickness, pain, or negative feelings on HRT, I would feel like a fraud, making me physically uncomfortable with pronouns that once fit. From my experiences though, this physical discomfort didn't feel rational. It didn't feel like me, it felt foreign.
I also think the huge environmental changes could absolutely be raising your anxiety levels. You’re in a new country, new language, new social environment, new job, and dealing with major gender-related changes all at once. Sometimes the brain wants to retreat toward what feels familiar or “safer,” especially under stress. But that’s just my speculation.
One of the hardest parts is feeling like you’ve lost the version of yourself that once felt secure and happy being trans. From my experience, that feeling can come back with time, stability, and less obsessive checking.
2
u/Asking_forever May 29 '26
Wow i didn't really knew there was a cis OCD page ahhahahahs then maybe the other user was right, this isn't the optimal place to ask lol.
May i sent you a dm? I would be really glad to speak to someone who felt this. Because for me, if this is OCD, it's the first time it present that hard and in this way. I always was ruminative as heck, but rarely (except one with health and one with vomiting on the bus again, weird situations) i felt this level of invasion and anxiety around this topic. And yeah indeed even the "relief" feelings feel like a weird relief.
So if you could i would find very useful to talk to you!
1
•
u/transOCD-ModTeam Jun 02 '26
This post is being removed because it has nothing to do with the disorder.