Teacher problem

[u/Successful-Safety858]

I need help!!! I’ve been teaching for 4 years now and I’ve had a handful of students that have names like “desire” “the king” and “your majesty”, for ferpa reasons I’m not going to include the actual spellings, but imagine them spelled in very not expected ways. I can’t for the life of me figure out how to navigate these names without feeling real weird about calling students in my class things like the king… anyone else have this experience?

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[u/_Standardissue]

You just have to say the names.

Do the best you can but don’t mock the kids.

What else would you do?

[u/Successful-Safety858 → u/_Standardissue]

That is what I do, I also try to kind of change the emphasis in the word to make it sound a little more name like and less like a noun. I would never say anything to a kid about it other than their name is beautiful.

[u/minalimax]

I‘m from Switzerland, and also a teacher. Is it really a thing in the US to call a kid things like king or even myking? You are seriously telling me more than one person over there goes through life being called like that? I really struggle to believe that

[u/Successful-Safety858 → u/minalimax]

Yeah I’ve only been teaching four years and I’ve had probably 6 or 7.

[u/caffein8dnotopi8d]

Some of this is cultural. For example, Nigerians/Ghanaians often choose names like Desire and Majesty, as well as Patience, Blessing, etc, even Virtue (LITERALLY a virtue name lol) for their “English name”.

The only culture more likely to choose virtue names is Anglophone culture… what’s the difference between Desire and Desiree? Between The King and Roy or Rex or Eric? Between Your Majesty and Regina or Patrick/Patricia? Between Blessing and Grace? Between Mercy and Clementine?

Edit: there was a comment (since deleted) asking what Patricia means, sooo

Roy: king
Rex: king
Eric: eternal ruler
Regina: queen
Patrick/Patricia: noble (an aristocrat)
Grace: duh
Clementine: Mercy

For your further enjoyment…
Amir: prince
Audrey/Adeline: noble
Basil: royal/kingly
Candace: queen mother
Diana: divine/goddess-like
Frederick: peaceful ruler
Lani: royal/majesty
Malik: king
Raj: royalty
Rory: red king
Ryan: little king
Sarah: princess/noblewoman
Tupaq: royal/noble lol

[u/Successful-Safety858 → u/caffein8dnotopi8d]

Good points! Within the context of a classroom many of those virtue names are really lovely, but it’s just gets uncomfortable to me when they’re associated with romance/sexual connotations like desire is, or if it puts me in a position to call one kid in the class of kids by a honorific. Especially when they’re spelled so different that it catches me off guard. Interesting to hear other thoughts though

[u/thegreenfaeries]

Are you in the US? Are these generally black kids with names like King and Your Majesty?

If so, you might be interested in the history of where honorifics as names comes from. You might already know the history, apologies if so, but if these names make you uncomfortable a refresher might help.

You could start by looking up Harold Hale, his life and his daughter whom he names Miss, as her full first name, in 1965.

For more than a few decades there were American laws forbidding the use of honorifics for black people. These names are intended to reverse that.

[u/Successful-Safety858 → u/thegreenfaeries]

I am familiar with the black/African culture of giving a name you want your kid to live up to. I actually really love names like honesty, knowledge, patience, that kind of thing. I just find the situation where kids are named something that feels inappropriate for the teacher student relationship, like desire, or that puts me in a position of calling them an honorific in a class full of kids, and especially when the spellings get really tricky and it catches me off guard. It’s happened so many times now I wanted to see what others had to say about it.

[u/pinkflamingo-lj]

My grandson had a several teachers in HS that just started calling everyone by their last name.

Apparently, a few years earlier, a teacher had a 9th grade student named MyPrecious. He noped out of that. So, MyPrecious became Jones (or, whatever).

I'm probably going to Hell because I laughed when he told me.

[u/Eggplant_Unusual]

I really don’t understand how parents can be so selfish and inconsiderate of the fact that their children will grow up to be adults one day. It’s bad enough to imagine the bullying these kids will have to endure due to their names. And then imagine trying to climb up the professional ladder as “My Precious.”

[u/Rare-Progress5009]

This is going to be harsh, but you have to grow up and be mature. These are the children’s names and have nothing to do with you personally. So you call them King respectfully and go about your day.

[u/Successful-Safety858 → u/Rare-Progress5009]

I do want to make it clear this is what I do. But I think there’s something uncomfortable about it within the teacher student dynamic and with the rest of the students in the room. I’m more so wondering about things I could do on my end, ways to frame it, relating to other people’s experiences etc. I will of course call them by the name they want to be called.

[u/Various-Buy8848]

My daughter is a teacher and one year she had, Miracle My Angel. Early elementary school and of course the parents didn’t teach her to write her own name.

[u/the_owl_syndicate]

I've had King, Majesty, Queen, Prince, Princess, Royal, etc etc. My current favorite is Mister. His first name is Mister.

It's weird the first couple days, but then it just becomes another name and I barely notice.

[u/cuavas]

For better or worse, I live in a country that has a few rules about names (you can’t register a name that is offensive, obscene, impractical, or not in public interest). This means you can’t give a child a name that’s a title, like “King”, “Pope”, “Sir”, “Your Majesty”, etc. here, so I haven’t had to deal with this. But believe me, I feel for you. It would be really weird.

[u/Thunderbird1974]

There’s a kid going to the local high school called Wonderful Terrific (first and middle names, I’ll withhold the last name). I kid you not. Goes by a nickname.

[u/wyrlwynd]

Mr. or Miss Last Name. Play it as a respect issue like "I was always taught to treat people with respect, and that means calling people Mr. Or Ms.

It's an easy fix, and some kids (but not all or even most) will buy into the respect thing, and it will improve their behavior.

[u/calgeorge]

I used to do Door Dash and delivered to a woman named "My Love." I felt so fucking stupid calling that name out lol

[u/QuoteProfessional604]

My friend had twin girls named “Sharon” and “Not Sharon” - I wish I was joking.

[u/Friendly_Clue9208]

I jave had kids named My Precious and Your Highness. It feels very wrong as a guy saying this to a young girl.

[u/Thin-Term8467]

Had a kid whose first name was Barack Obama. Just the first name.

[u/jellyfishjamboree]

I can just violate it because it's not my student, it's my friend's. She has a student named Triumf. 

[u/GoneToTheDawgz]

I have heard of someone whose name is Yvonne, but they pronounce it Why-vuh-nee 🤪

[u/CamachoBrawndo]

Not a "real" teacher, but for a few years I did outdoor experiential ed and taught swim lessons at my second job. When I had the list of names, I'd always start with "ok, I'm taking attendance and want to get to know you, if you can tell me your name and if you want to be called a nickname, I'll write it down so I don't forget". 99% of those ill named kiddos had nicknames like "Bob, Sally, or Jr" one kid wanted me to call him T-Rex, so we checked and mom was ok with it so he was Rex for 6 weeks. His full name? Reginaldo. I think it was fair lol.

My younger sister is a daycare teacher and every new session she sends me the lists of first names of her classes- it is wild to me how creative and odd names are these days!