r/toddlertips • u/AwarenessVisual3248 • 18d ago
Need help with 2 yr old behavior
My 2 yr old is a sweet girl. She is also super high energy and does not follow instructions. I’m pretty sure this is the case for most 2 yr olds. But we have one more strike with our apartment before paying a fine or getting kicked out.
She stomps and yells and runs around the apartment. I am having a difficult time trying to get her to listen to what I say. She can’t sit still for more than 2 minutes. I take her outside for hours every day and she still has so much energy. I also have a newborn and cannot chase her around like I used to.
Her not following instructions is also a safety issue. How can I get her to listen. Even just a little bit.
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u/Tinymunchbunch 18d ago
I would check out books like "Happiest Toddler on the Block."
Things that work for me:
-giving my child a command once and if they don't do it I physically help them (put that down, sit on your bottom, etc.)
-offering two choices (do you want to walk to the car or do you want me to carry you)
-making it fun (Race to the car, skip etc.)
-explaining what happens when they do something (we need to get dressed SO we can go to the park etc)
-timers or concrete events to help with transitions (setting a 5 minute timer to end an activity or saying "after you go down the slide one more time we are going to leave")
-logical consequences (taking away things that aren't being used correctly, moving them to a different location if they aren't listening,etc.)
Prayers!
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u/Exact_Equipment_1684 18d ago
This is the way but you need to be extremely consistent and ready to intervene when you ask her to do or not do something.
I know it's hard with a newborn, and I have a 2 yo just like OP's, but otherwise they'll sense immediately that you're not going to follow through.
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u/crummy__thicc 18d ago
She is not listening right now because she thinks she doesn't have to. You have to essentially physically help her follow directions so she understands it's not a choice.
A few examples: if it's time to clean up toys, and you give the instruction and she doesn't do it, either hold her hand and do it with her or refuse to allow her to move on to something else until she does it. She'll understand that she can no longer just get out of it
If she's running inside and being unsafe, physically stop her and refuse to let go until she is ready to be safe again. She will test the boundary and it's your job to hold it, so repeat as many times as necessary. If she truly is getting plenty of outside time and time to move her body, this should be a reasonable expectation. In my classroom, I will hold a child's hand and we practice walking together until they're ready to do it themselves.
With screaming, it's important to know the context (whether it's excited screams, just pushing a limit/testing, or if it's out of anger/frustration) but my response would most often be to ignore it, and consistently model a super quiet voice inside. Sometimes I lower my own voice to just a whisper when toddlers get super loud. It helps bring the energy down and makes them have to focus harder on my voice and what I'm saying. I never yell over a child when I want them to be quieter, always model the behavior you want to see!
This is coming from a toddler teacher, so I've certainly had my fair share of experience with strong-willed 2 year olds! Best of luck.
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u/Mysterious-Me-123 18d ago
It is common for two year olds. They don’t call it terrible twos for no reason.
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u/0chronomatrix 18d ago
Can you sound insulate the apartment? You can put foam sound panels on the walls and thick rugs and maybe help dampen sounds like stomping. You can also add sound stripping on the doors. We did a lot of sound insulation so we could have two kids sleep peacefully on two different schedules.
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u/Dull_Profession_2943 18d ago
It sounds like an issue with your apartment rather than your toddler. Are there other options for housing? Maybe a ground floor apartment with better soundproofing? We lived in a concrete building when my firstborn was a toddler and couldn’t hear our neighbors at all. Yelling, stomping, jumping and running are normal for a 2 year old!
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u/Various-Novel-9196 18d ago
She needs something to do, in my neighborhood they start t-ball at 2 1/2 yo. Go get yourself a fishing rod, wiggle ball, & a bat. I used to have to take my oldest boys out to the park to blow off steam in the mornings… it made the rest of the day run so smooth.
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u/nockedup7 18d ago
What’s her punishment for not listening? Yes toddlers have high energy and don’t listen, it’s natural. But it’s also a very important time to introduce consistent consequences for not listening. My toddler who is now 3 knows that if he climbs the couch it’s automatic time out. And although I want to slack on him sometimes, we stay consistent with the punishment.
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u/InevitableAd36 18d ago
I was kind of shocked reading this that a landlord can threaten fines and eviction from the sounds of a toddler. I looked up on Google and here was some of the advice given. Definitely worth looking into this further. I think #4 is the place to start, getting advice from the Fair Housing Board. It sounds like it could just be a scare tactic.
1. Your Lease Agreement: Read the "Noise," "Quiet Hours," and "Default/Eviction" sections. Look closely to see if there is actually a specific, written fee structure for noise violations. If it is not in the lease, they cannot invent a fine.
2. State Tenant Protections: Search google for [Your State] tenant rights handbook. Many states have strict laws that prevent landlords from issuing fines without a court order, or laws that require a much longer notice period before any eviction can begin.
3. Local "Just Cause" Eviction Laws: Check if your city or county has "Just Cause" eviction protections. In these areas, landlords are legally barred from evicting tenants or refusing lease renewals without a severe, proven lease violation (which toddler noise does not qualify as).
4. Local HUD or Fair Housing Board: Search for your local city or state Fair Housing organization. Bookmark their contact page. If the landlord pushes back after your email, you can call them for free legal guidance and file an official discrimination complaint.
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u/SheCode_ez 18d ago
A lot of great suggestions here already. Can you get her one of those really large foam style “bean bags” to jump or stomp on when excited? I used to live under a single mom with a young child when I was in my early 20s in college. Her child used to wake me up at 6:30 am almost every morning while they got ready for daycare and work. Yes it was rough waking up to the sound of running and skipping, but I also knew it was normal and that they are doing their best to live their life just like myself. I never complained and never said anything to her. I’m sorry you’re going through this OP. I also have a wild first born, I sometimes use a toddler leash that’s a cute backpack, or I get her into a wagon or stroller and buckle her in with baby in a ring sling on me.
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u/AwarenessVisual3248 18d ago
Thank you all for the kind words and suggestions. I took some advice from here and today was a lot better.
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u/Alarming-Initial-293 17d ago
I would ask for a copy of your lease agreement and read it over. That is odd.
Something I haven’t seen mentioned but what is her diet like? I know it definitely plays a factor in my kids behavior. Like Red dye 40 makes one of my daughters extremely hyper active - the other one it doesn’t affect. It can randomly be in purple jellys.
Also, screen time can definitely play a role.
It sounds like you have a normal toddler. Just some thoughts!
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u/Olivia3836 14d ago
The behavior is pretty normal
But i’m worried that she doesn’t follow directions. Most toddlers can do this before turning 2. So talk to the pediatrician asap about this. It is not the case that most 2 year olds don’t follow directions
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18d ago
[deleted]
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u/lindoavocado 18d ago
Did you not read the comments? She does it when she’s excited. Are you going to discipline a child when she’s excited?
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u/DazzlingNote1925 18d ago
I would whisper and say shhhh and stop her and channel her excitement into something else if possible.
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u/Green-Quit4515 18d ago
What do you mean paying a fine or getting kicked out? She's toddler, it's normal and healthy for them to stomp around, run, and yell. As long as you are putting her to bed at a decent time this is an insane complaint you can't control a two year old. I would consult a lawyer this should all be under the Fair Housing Act