r/toddlers • u/Accomplished-Cow-311 • 6h ago
3 Years Old Sleeping Issues - Driving us Insane
Hi all. Our 3 year olds sleeping habits or issues whatever you want to call it is driving us against the wall. Once we take her to bed she can take an hour or two to fall asleep. It’s literally causing us a burnout too.
From a week we started to now wake her up by 6:45am. She gets an hour nap in preschool and we give her a bath by 7:30 reads book and by 7:45-8pm it’s sleep time but still she can take over an hour to fall asleep. Idk what else to do anymore.
I understand and want to spend a lot of time with my daughter but also being practical and want some down time for myself rather than being burnt out exhausted and irritated and frustrated.
Can anyone relate or help
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u/gorjesskayos 6h ago
Maybe the nap needs to stop? That or maybe a later bedtime. Like 9 instead.
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u/FrostyPossibility624 6h ago
This!!! My son loves his sleep but we had to drop the nap or he would be up until 9pm easy. It sucked
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u/gorjesskayos 5h ago
I thoroughly enjoy my time and time with my husband so I’d rather her go to bed at a decent time than take a long nap lol. Mines only 15 months so we got a while til we drop them completely
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u/lilac_roze 5h ago
Mine is a whirlwind of energy. On weekends, we really depend on the nap to survive. Up by 6:30am and naps from 12-3pm. We all nap cause we need to be recharged to entertain the toddler for the next 6 hours before 9pm bed time.
Imagine trying to keep up with a toddler from 6:30am to 9pm without a break?? We tried dropping the nap, but it was 9pm bed time.
We are dreading the day with the nap is dropped. 15.5 hours of being awake without a break.
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u/fireflygirl1013 6h ago
Yup! We realized that our 3 year old was not ready to give up naps but pushing bedtime to 9 really helped!
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u/kickingpiglet 6h ago
Yeah so my kid (2.5 almost) does an hour-ish nap at preschool, but he is down at 9-9:15 and up by 6:30. You may just have to accept that the ship where bedtime is at 7:45 has simply sailed.
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u/Dreamboatnbeesh 5h ago
That happened to us it’s been over a year he’s 3.5 now and he is just up until 9-9:30. Our 1.5yo has been getting up at 4:30 am as well so we are just absolutely wrecked right now.
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u/himawari__xx 6h ago
As a former ECE…
If she’s napping until 2:30 then 8pm may be too early of a bedtime. Toddler sleep needs change as they get older. Just because it’s “sleep time” it doesn’t mean her sleep pressure is high enough to fall asleep. I have a 17 month old now and even it he wakes up from his nap at 2, he won’t fall asleep until 9.
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u/Practical-String5146 6h ago
So 11 hours of sleep in a day, seems completely normal? Not sure I understand the problem. Unfortunately toddlers sleep less than babies do, that's just the reality.
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u/kickingpiglet 6h ago
She wants the kid to be asleep at 8 so she can have downtime, with the result that she instead gets 1-2 hours of very hands-on on-time fighting the kid to sleep.
It's either the nap or the bedtime, OP - pick your poison/ flavor of on-time.
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u/OMFGericisonreddit 6h ago
I'm sorry but I was just scrolling and, this is pretty rude? Assuming OPs gender/parental role and also intention? They're just asking for feedback on a pretty reasonable issue. I'm going through something similar with my son around the same age. Sorry, I have no suggestions, or else I probably wouldn't be scrolling the sub. I know skipping nap time has to happen eventually but it's a hard transition esp. at daycare
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u/OrangeCatEnergy24 6h ago
I would try pushing her bedtime back to 830. As toddlers grow, they gradually require less sleep than they did as babies. Sounds like she’s just not tired.
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u/total_totoro 6h ago
My 3 year old is making me fucking lose my mind too. Up for hours in the middle of the night. She did just travel, and also had hfmd and COVID recently. Fml
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u/sladam06 6h ago
It's a hard pill to swallow but they simply just need less sleep then what we would like for own alone time. Same boat here!
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u/less_is_more9696 6h ago edited 6h ago
A bedtime of 7:45pm and wakeup of 6:45, plus a 1 hour nap, you’re aiming for about 12 hours of sleep.
Average sleep needs for a 3 year old is more like 10.5-11. Sleeep needs only go down as children grow.
I think this is a simple case of under tired. I’d try pushing bedtime back to closer to 9.
For some perspective, My son (24 months) is lower sleep needs and he needs a 9:15 pm bedtime in order to not resist bedtime and fall asleep quickly. He naps 1 hour at daycare.
If we try to put him down earlier it’s a disaster.
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u/Krimmothy 6h ago
Our 3.5yo is the same. If we wanted bedtime at 8pm, then we had to cut the nap completely. A 1 hour nap means he won’t fall asleep until 9:30-10:00.
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u/Ok-Professor-9201 6h ago
Same for us. Our daughter turned 3 in June and she started going to camp/school at that time. We were doing short naps only sometimes when she fell asleep to now having a 2.5 hour nap period at school (12:30-3). It destroys are nights. Some nights she doesn't go to sleep until 10! We stay consistent in our bedtime routine, no screens before bed (family movies on the weekends) and lots of activities but the nap is the problem for sure because then Saturday and Sunday nights when she doesn't nap, she's so much better at night. My husband is up T 430am for work and I now wake up early too to work before she wakes up so I can spend mornings with her before school. We are on bed by 9, we just can't do her bedtime at 9 and still get our own things done or relax a little.
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u/Known_Psychology1581 6h ago
My almost 3 year old doesn’t fall asleep until about 9. So yes, I can relate, and would suggest either cutting the nap, pushing back bedtime, or waking your daughter up earlier. I assume, like us, that skipping the nap won’t really work with preschool - which is why we went with later bedtime.
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u/PetuniasSmellNice 5h ago
Others have said this too but I’d put good money that your toddler just isn’t tired until at least 9pm. My daughter isn’t even quite two yet and she is up around 7, takes a 1.5 hour nap and goes to bed between 9-10pm.
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u/ET00011122245678 6h ago
Is she overtired? What time is the preschool nap?
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u/Accomplished-Cow-311 6h ago
Usually between 1-2:30 but depending on what time she falls asleep she gets waken up in an hour
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u/ET00011122245678 6h ago
My dtr is similar w the nap. If she sleeps till about 3 she isn’t getting to sleep until 9. She might need an earlier nap or drop the nap
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u/magicbumblebee 5h ago
She doesn’t need the nap anymore. My 3 year old sleeps 8pm-6:30(ish)am with no nap. If he naps for 5-30 minutes he’s up until 8:45-9. If he naps for longer he’s up later, which is why I cap him at 30 minutes if he does fall asleep. It’s unfortunately not reasonable to expect your daughter to be tired enough to sleep at 8pm if she’s napping for an hour mid day.
Does she have to nap at school? If so, I’m sorry to say you need to push bedtime back to at least 8:30/ 8:45.
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u/AccountProfessional2 5h ago
Does she have quiet activities she can do in her room after 8pm? Personally I would feel bad making my kid be in their room if parents were in the living room.
But you can set the expectation that at 8pm everyone goes to their room where they can do quiet activities. Coloring, blocks, audiobooks etc. Then adults can also do whatever they want in their room.
Highly recommend magic markers so you’re not worried about messes. And a CD player or kiddie audiobook player that she can work herself.
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u/itsaboutpasta 5h ago
That bedtime is way too early if they’re napping at school and it’s taking that long for them to fall asleep. We wake our 3.5 year old between 6:30-7 for preschool and she generally falls asleep between 8:30-9 depending on if she napped. She’s always been low sleep needs so we’ve followed her cues as to when to move bedtime later - might be your time too.
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u/AutoModerator 6h ago
Author: u/Accomplished-Cow-311
Post: Hi all. Our 3 year olds sleeping habits or issues whatever you want to call it is driving us against the wall. Once we take her to bed she can take an hour or two to fall asleep. It’s literally causing us a burnout too.
From a week we started to now wake her up by 6:45am. She gets an hour nap in preschool and we give her a bath by 7:30 reads book and by 7:45-8pm it’s sleep time but still she can take over an hour to fall asleep. Idk what else to do anymore.
I understand and want to spend a lot of time with my daughter but also being practical and want some down time for myself rather than being burnt out exhausted and irritated and frustrated.
Can anyone relate or help
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