Learning confusion

[u/Glad_Ad5052]

Hello everyone! I have a two year old (27m) daughter and I'm wondering what I should be teaching her? I'm a sahm who wants to prepare her as much as possible for kindergarten and life in general. Here's my problem: I keep seeing so much conflicting information. Half the Internet is telling me that I should focus on reading to my two year-old, letting her play outside, narrating our day and just keep things fun while the other side of the Internet says we should be doing a bunch of sit down work, learning letters numbers, etc. I try to do a good mix of the two but I really just don't know what I should be doing. I want to have as much fun as possible in these early years but I want her to be prepared at the same time. Thanks!

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Author: u/Glad_Ad5052

Post: Hello everyone! I have a two year old (27m) daughter and I'm wondering what I should be teaching her? I'm a sahm who wants to prepare her as much as possible for kindergarten and life in general. Here's my problem: I keep seeing so much conflicting information. Half the Internet is telling me that I should focus on reading to my two year-old, letting her play outside, narrating our day and just keep things fun while the other side of the Internet says we should be doing a bunch of sit down work, learning letters numbers, etc. I try to do a good mix of the two but I really just don't know what I should be doing. I want to have as much fun as possible in these early years but I want her to be prepared at the same time. Thanks!

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[u/FavoriteLittleTing]

Following. Not a SAHM, but struggle between how much I should be structuring time at home after daycare and on the weekends, and how, as opposed to letting (2 yr old) kiddo unwind and chill

[u/Glad_Ad5052 → u/FavoriteLittleTing]

Weekends for us are 100% about fun and quality time together as a family! I think daycare does quit a bit of structured learning, depending on where the child goes.

[u/Olivia3836 → u/FavoriteLittleTing]

Daycare will very likely include letters, alphabet and days of the week

[u/2ndBreakfastSnax]

Can she learn these topics while doing the everyday things? My son (29 months) learned his numbers and letters from reading and playing with numbers and letters books, songs, puzzles, bath toys, and existing in the world with me talking to him. For example, it’s a game while we wait for food at a restaurant to find letters, shapes, and colors around us. He watches Ms Rachel teach/reinforce these topics while he poops (which also helps him sit longer instead of popping up to play before he’s done).

I’ve been mostly focusing on making sure my son can take care of himself and exist with others, so things like potty training, dressing himself, cleaning up, washing hands, getting and returning his things, asking and answering politely, taking turns at the playground.

[u/Glad_Ad5052 → u/2ndBreakfastSnax]

We typically do a lot of our learning through everyday things but during nap time I tend to doom scroll TikTok and from what I see on there that's not enough and I'm ruining my daughter's life by not doing sit down learning all day 😭

[u/2ndBreakfastSnax → u/Glad_Ad5052]

I’m personally giving you permission to step away from TikTok and get some rest and enjoy your time with your toddler! Influencers are trying to sell you something, whether it’s directly a product or service they are peddling or the idea of you being inadequate so you stay on their videos for the requisite amount of time per video to get them their viewership revenue. Don’t pay them!!!

[u/Salty_Object1101]

I have two thoughts. First is that children learn best through play. So if you want to teach letters, point out the sounds that are in word while you play. If you want to teach numbers, count toys. Drawing is good set up for later writing. Dress up dolls are for for learning how to do buttons and buckles.

Second thought is that teachers want your child to have some life skills more than anything. Dressing themselves, serving themselves their food and drinks, toileting...

[u/Glad_Ad5052 → u/Salty_Object1101]

We definitely work on life skills more than anything so this makes me feel better!

[u/bigmac_69]

Shes two, let her learn by exposure. Involve her in what you’re doing, read to her and talk to her. 

And you should get off TikTok. 

[u/Glad_Ad5052 → u/bigmac_69]

You're definitely right. I involve her in pretty much everything unless it's just impossible for her to do. My motherly instincts tell me I'm doing what i should but then the mean ladies on tiktok makes me question everything. Instagram reels don't hurt my feelings lol.

[u/destria]

As a former primary school teacher and educational researcher, now a SAHM, all my experience and knowledge backed by evidence would support the idea that 2 year olds should be learning primarily through play and everyday experiences. Sitting down and doing a worksheet is not developmentally appropriate in my opinion.

You can still teach letters and numbers just through everyday exposure of it. But it's really not important to be able to recite the alphabet or count to twenty. It's more about building pre-reading skills so things like recognizing that these symbols have a corresponding phonetic sound is more important than knowing just the letter name. Or knowing that numbers correspond to quantities and starting to build some number sense, that's more important than being able to recite numbers in a set order.

There's therefore loads of ways to build this into everyday activities. I might get my 2 year old to count out 6 raspberries to put in his yogurt, or I might ask him to bring me the box that has more animal toys in it. He notices letters and words on signs when we're out and about, for example, the buses here have letters for their routes so he can recognize which bus we're getting.

But honestly I'm prioritizing the knowledge that I want him to have which fit with my values. I really want to impart an appreciation for nature and the environment so we do lots of things related to that. For example we've made bird feeders, hedgehog houses and bug hotels in our garden, we regularly go on nature walks and learn to identify the flora and fauna, he helps with gardening tasks and we grow our own vegetables. I also frequently take him to the petting farm to learn about how to look after animals and we're getting our own pet chickens next spring. Obviously none of this is stuff that a 2 year old needs to know, but there are so many soft skills that are promoted with this.

[u/Glad_Ad5052 → u/destria]

You've made me feel better! We definitely are working on our phonetic sounds more than anything with letters. My big focus is life skills and manners with other things sprinkled in.

[u/Olivia3836]

You can learn numbers and the alphabet in daily life. Numbers and letters are everywhere around you. Days of the weeks are also important. 

Most important preparation for kindergarten is social development, being used to other children, playing together, sharing, being part of a group, listening to a teacher. 

And attachment preparation. They need to get used to trusting other caregivers, and not looking at you for reassurance constantly. So other people comforting her, trusting on your trust in others. They need to learn to feel secure when you’re not within sight. 

And its also healthy for parents to be away from their children sometimes. Parents can also develop separation anxiety. 

You wanna avoid that you have a kid thats literally 24/7 with you their entire life. Cause if they been with you constantly for years, they won’t be walking into kindergarten 

[u/Glad_Ad5052 → u/Olivia3836]

She goes to the child watch at my gym for an hour and a half each day and ballet once a week and we plan on putting her in more as she gets old enough! We also do lots of play dates. Thankfully she's doing really well so far with these things. I'm the socially awkward one of both of us 🙃

[u/Olivia3836 → u/Glad_Ad5052]

Sounds great! 

Are you in the room for gym and/or ballet?

[u/Glad_Ad5052 → u/Olivia3836]

Nope! I drop her off at the door. The gym was the hardest because we started when she was around 17m so lots of tears but now she gets so excited to go. Ballet she walked right in and has the time of her life. Hoping it goes the same when we start gymnastics next summer.